After Further Review: Jake the Awake, Week Three

We interrupt our special reports on Manchester City for our regular weekly rigged NFL programming.

You know the drill by now.  Let's get to it.

The sidebar is probably the most openly controversial fantasy play of the week:  Trevor Lawrence, about at the first down marker, with #97 for the Patriots, Milton Williams, right next to him and within arm's reach.  No effort to tackle him, and then Lawrence gets to the 1...  and surrenders himself.

10) 49ers-Cardinals.  No score, about midway through the first.

Fairly blatant offensive hold missed on the hook and ladder, by the way.

The main problem here appears to be #3, Mr. Baker, trying to tackle Deebo Samuel rather than get the angle and bump him out of the bounds on the sideline.  His miss allows Samuel to go the rest of the way for the 82-yard touchdown, 7-0 49ers.

9) Same game.  29-27 49ers, about a minute and a half to go.

George Kittle, uncovered, over the middle, no one close for the entire waltz into the endzone.  And it'll just be called a "blown coverage".

You mean to tell me you don't see that in film and prepare for it?  Or did you honestly think to let Kittle score and take your chances getting two scores coming back??

8) Ravens-Cowboys, the pass that gave the Ravens the field goal at the gun to win it.

I do wonder how this play was at least #3, especially because it DIRECTLY IMPACTED THE FINAL RESULT.

But Jake adds the field goal -- that looks like it's almost a magnet-assisted doink or very close to one on the left upright.

7) One of the other songs Jake puts out:  "[Take Me Down To The] Muffed Punt City" -- thinking all muffed punts are scripted as well.

This specific one is Pittsburgh-Cincinnati.  27-24 Bengals, about four minutes into the fourth quarter.

BONK!  Punt is muffed by Ke'Shawn Williams.  And he got fired from the Bengals for that miss.

6) Same game, Pittsburgh inside the Cincinnati 10.  Third quarter, about three minutes left, 20-17 Cincinnati.

Rodgers to Metcalf, two Bengals collide, no one within SEVEN YARDS of Metcalf...

And now Jake claims the Extra Crazy starts, so much, he combines two plays at #6...

The second one:  Rams-Broncos.  16-0 Rams, about halfway through the third quarter.

And this play is why Jake says he included the last one, because it's the same thing for Pat Bryant.  Wide open after two Rams conk into each other (possible pick play penalty "missed" on this one???)...

And that halves the lead and sets us up for the silliness that turns a 16-0 game about halfway through the third to 30-26 the other way.

5) Return of the Doink even got a number, now with an official counter for Jake.  The sixth doink of the year, Rams-Broncos again.  Field goal attempt, 43 yards for the Broncos.  First quarter, 90 seconds left, 7-0 Rams.

And that's a pretty clear magnet job right there.  Ball is headed well good, and then veers to the upright, DOINK!  Hit the music!!

The fifth one was 49ers-Cardinals, extra point after 29-20 49ers, 8:42 to play in the game, that one appears to be directed right at the left upright.

4) Patriots-Jaguars, and this isn't the Trevor Lawrence one.  It's Drake Maye "forgetting" the ball, clean in the pocket.  Four minutes to go in the first quarter, no score.

3) Titans-Giants, Titans inside the 10.  23 seconds left, 12-7 Giants, first and goal for the Titans to win it, and they have two timeouts on top of it.

Clean pocket for Cam Ward, but the coverage is good, so he has to break it off and scramble.  Jake believes he's fast enough to get the corner for the six.  I'm not 100% sure of that (#93 and #52 both have a bead on him for the angle for the Giants), but what Ward DOES do is throw it where the only guy who could catch it is #8 for the Giants.  One receiver, three defenders on that side.  He has the time, he has timeouts, dump it out and try again!

2) Vikings-Buccaneers, and the Bucs are punting to the Vikings, received at about the 14 yard line.  3-0 Vikings, 8 minutes into the game.

86 yards later, it's 10-0 for Myles Price.  

He wants to claim #86 for Tampa can get him -- no...  He's blocked well, and Price gets by him before 86 can get free.

The first pratfall splat by #98, however...  That's up Jake's alley.

Another pratfall later, Price is completely free, touchdown.

1) And #1 is Trevor Lawrence, as previously sidebarred, which gets almost seven minutes.

In fact, it's #1 for the season, and it might take quite a matter to get it out of that position.

And funny that I find this NASCAR story after talking about "taking into your own hands"...

But oof...  This is...  This is a big one.

Corey Heim (who will race at the top level for 23XI, Bubba Wallace's team), at Martinsville, was jumped by several members of a rival team after a late-model race.

FIGHT AT THE HOTDOG STAND!

FIGHT AT THE @MARTINSVILLESWY HOTDOG STAND!!!#VSCU300 | September 25-26 | Live on FloRacing 📺 pic.twitter.com/ZOqO2bnVAH

— FloRacing (@FloRacing) September 27, 2026

At least one crew member held Heim up to the stand, where another suckered him.

It was Chad Bryant Racing.

Well, Chad's no longer in the series.  He's been banned, so has the other person who was directly involved in the swinging.

When is NASCAR going to stop with the "Have at it..." motif?  This is what happens on the short tracks.  Not USUALLY this flagrant, but there have been several close...

Manchester City: A Tragic Day

The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom has thrown in behind the Arab owner of Manchester City, and, hence, has thrown in for the end of the Premier League, if not the EFL with it:

“I would be really concerned to lose them.”

Those were the words of Prime Minister Andy Burnham, concerning Shiekh Mansour and the other owners of Manchester City.

We know why.  Mansour being the Prime Minister of the United Arab Emirates, rumors have been flying for 24 hours.

Jurgen Klopp, two years ago, said it correctly...

"There are 3 clubs in world football who can do what they want financially. Nobody can compete with that. Liverpool cannot act like them."

(Which makes me wonder who the other two are.)

That said, to PM Burnham:

1) Even in the best case scenario vis-a-vis that the Premier League would have a future (see below for that), why would 3/4 of the teams in it now even field a side, at minimum against Manchester City and at maximum at all?

2) How would the Premier League, as presently constructed, even handle so much as an injurious foul on the pitch, given this controvertion of any real authority on or off the pitch?

3) What stops players from taking the law into their own hands, and laying it right on the feet of the League and His Majesty's Government when taken before disciplinary tribunals?

4) Why would anyone want to watch other than Manchester City, Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal, and at least one team I've forgotten that's above the glass ceiling?

5) What stops Mansour from suing (or being given!) the Premier League and all of its assets as compensation?

6) Remember that Mansour has gone public in saying he's sick of propping up the lesser teams.

This is no less than a call to end the English Premier League because of the political position of one of the team owners.

You may get your Super League.

EDIT TO ADD 8:45 PM PDT:  I sent a semi-respectful (more than they deserve) question of "Where are you playing if you win this?" to the Man City Reddit.

Not only did I get banned from the subreddit instantaneously, it was a shadowban.  Never even the ability to tell the mods their team is corrupt and to fuck off.

2026 Week Three Score Report

Almost forgot this.

• 756 points this week, 47.25 per game.
• 2,194 points for the first 48 games.  45.71 per game.
• Home teams an impressive 11-4 for the week, 28-18 now for the season.
• Only four games of the sixteen finished outside one score.
• Three of them were non-competitive, one was within 8 points at some point in the fourth quarter but finished outside.  16 of the 48 games have been non-competitive, while four have had it within eight points at some point in the fourth quarter but not finished there.
• Meaning 28 of the 48 games so far this season have finished within one score.
• 7 Cliffhangers in 4 games.  So we've had only nine games with Cliffhangers, but SIXTEEN different tying, lead-changing, or winning scores in the last two minutes of regulation or overtime.
• And 9 of the 12 games within one score had a Last Chance Miss.  Meaning, of the 32 games that have finished within eight points, TWENTY have had a Last Chance Miss.  And at least one this week was close to that criteria.
• Multiples:
• Cleveland-Carolina had the first one.  Cleveland go ahead TD at 1:27, after out on downs, Carolina spends all three timeouts to get the ball back in sixteen seconds, but throws it away from about midfield with :16 left.
• Indianapolis-Houston:  Houston with a go-ahead touchdown for 17-16 at 1:48, Indianapolis wins it with a field goal at :16, but Houston does get ball in the air at the gun.
• Full Triple Cliffhanger in Rio:  Baltimore go-ahead TD 31-28 at 1:30.  Dallas ties it with 7 seconds left, only to give away the pass to field goal range, Lamar gets the timeout (we're still not sure he did!), field goal to win it for Baltimore at the gun.
• And the Sunday nighter got the last multiplier of the week:  That controversial DPI call I gave you earlier got Denver the winning touchdown at 47 seconds, but the Rams got it to where they got a shot at the end zone at the gun...  Picked off.
• According to what I could find, there's no word on the Miami futility of being the latest NFL team to lose all three of their first games of the season by 14 points or more.  They are NOT the only team to do so, however.

Some extensions from other previous stories...

• Coach Shane Beamer has NOT decided yet whether Dylan Stewart will ever return to the team, and has additionally stated that it will be solely Beamer's choice as to when he returns.  He won't.  I think it's clear that Stewart made a decision last Saturday -- an incredibly stupid one, but a decision nonetheless.   
• And a late report:  The South Carolina NIL collective wants to recollect at least $167,000 a game from Stewart for every game he is suspended.  Yeah, that'll be a lawsuit.  And it may be the only thing that gets him to get his shit together enough to at least be on the sideline.
• Yeah, I'll say it, say it with me:  Operation Shutdown.
• In the "Yeah, That Tracks" Department:  When PAC finally signed with AEW, he was sidelined due to visa issues for quite a while.  Those visa issues, according to David Bixenspan, were due to Vince McMahon calling in chips from the first Trump Administration and stating falsely PAC had bolted on his visa, rather than being duly released.
• Confrontation in an Indiana WNBA game -- male fan confronted Las Vegas' A'Ja Wilson on the sideline.  She was T'd up, he was ejected for a time but returned...  Anyone wanna bet money it was insinuated Wilson is a man?   
• Jake the Awake needs some extra time -- probably to get his Slop List down to ten.  He has proclaimed it one of the most rigged weeks in NFL history.  Not sure I'd quite go THAT FAR...  We'll see what he's got.   
• And the first casualty of the Packers sucking:  The Packers-Bears game has been moved off the America's Game of the Week segment at 4:25 Eastern, back to a 1:00 Eastern start at Lambeau.

Manchester City: The UAE basically calls for the abolition of the English Premier League...

Oh shit...  At least two major diplomatic ramifications of the today's Premier League ruling regarding Manchester City.

🚨 BREAKING: UAE officials are reportedly considering measures against the United Kingdom following the Premier League’s decision to find Manchester City guilty of 115 of 115 alleged breaches.

Prominent UAE figure (@reynaMCFC) has reportedly threatened to push for increased…

— Danis (@DanisMCFC) September 29, 2026

I don't think people get the ramifications of such an event.

First, I think people need to understand why the UAE is so adamant.

The majority owner of the team is Sheikh Mansour bid Zayed Al Nahyan.  He is the deputy prime minister of the country and a UAE royal.

If that doesn't raise every red flag in the book, comments were made, which are probably deep in X's archives, that Mansour said he was going to financially break the Premier League, because he felt the remaining clubs were negligent in proper spending -- an action now seen as that he believed Financial Fair Play was a constriction of competition.

So that explains the political nature of the problem.

Second, now you need to see why the penalty must be fatal to the club and Mansour and his group get NOTHING...

I'm going to give you a short and not all-inclusive list of entities which now would all but require compensation:

• Every other Premier League team since 2009 on a baseline level.
• Goes double for any Premier League team which lost a Premiership, a Cup Final, a Champions League place (remember, City have been to every Champions League except one in this run)...  At least three teams are considering actions of 100 million pounds, and Stoke City has already raised a fair degree of Cain over their 2011 FA Cup loss to Man City, as just two examples.
• And then consider what is now called the Two Hundred Million Pound Game.  Though applied to the concept of the Championship Playoff Final for the final spot in the next year's Premier League, the difference in relegation from the Premier League to the Championship is now estimated at TWO HUNDRED MILLION POUNDS.  And a sum commensurate to that for every relegated season since 2009 is now applicable to any team who finished within whatever number of points they did not get from Manchester City's matches to be safe from relegation.
• Then you get to the broadcasters and sponsors.  From the day Aguero slotted in the goal in the fixed match with Queen's Park Rangers for their first championship, the Premier League has been able to sell itself on the concept that the glass ceiling of Manchester United, Arsenal, and Chelsea has finally been broken.  It is now clear that the entirety of that truth is FRAUD.  Meaning that the broadcast rights holders and the sponsors have been paying increased fees probably well beyond the Premier League's station.  They would have a claim.  And oh crap.  As crooked as I believe that QPR match was for Joey Barton's antics to get sent off, would I rule out that Sheikh Mansour paid Barton handsomely to get sent off and throw the match?
• In fact, at least one expert now believes that every Sky Sports subscriber in England may well have a claim against Manchester City for inflated subscription fees as a result of the above, as just one further example of it!
• And then we get to Europe on a larger scale:  Prize monies and sponsorships, etc., through Champions League advancements and Manchester City's two Champions League titles???

Are we getting warm yet?

Here's one more someone in the Arsenal Reddit brought up:  The complete explosion of player salaries due to illegal payments, etc. alleged in these charges.  Again, remember Mansour's statement that the rest of the teams are not paying the players properly -- so he blows up the entire corporate salary structure of the entire league to become its face and most dominant team.

Just THAT would be enough for dissolution, liquidation, owners get nothing, probable criminal charges, up to and including the Prime Minister of the UAE.

But here's one more thing to keep in mind.  This is the attitude many City fans have, because of Sheikh Mansour's positions with the team and in the UAE royals:

Man City won’t be relegated or punished in any meaningful way.

If the PL relegated City, it would instigate the start of the European Super League. They wouldn’t join the EFL. The PL need City more than City need the PL.

— Jake 🦁 🏁 (@Villa_F1) September 29, 2026

Consider three things if that happens:

1) It would immediately expose the English Premier League as completely unable to police the game, off the field and eventually on it.  It would effectively make Manchester City the sole existence of the English Premier League.

2) It would basically demand an immediate full-scale player boycott -- at minimum, of the Manchester City matches.  At maximum, of the Premier League itself.

3) Frankly, it would jailbreak the league, IF IT SURVIVES.  You would literally have Middle Eastern oil barons worth billions taking every team in the league they can, and the rest go well below even Championship-level.  You would get a Super League.

In short (as I told Jake in a response), you get your Euro Super League anyway.  Because, at that point, there is no Premier League.

The punishment has not been determined -- but for there to even be a CHANCE, and it's only a chance, for the survival of the English Premier League...

• Criminal charges of all relevant parties, up to and including the Prime Minister of the UAE, come what may in international relations.
• Dissolution of the Manchester City Football Club
• Seizure and liquidation of ALL Manchester City assets
• The owners get NOTHING
• The money is completely put into a fund for a small fraction of the damages done

ANYTHING short of this nullifies FFP and declares at least one club above the law and all ability to be enforced against.

Manchester City: It's now official, and it's worse than first said.

In a scheme the head of the Premier League said "systemically broke Premier League rules for a decade", the Premier League has officially found Manchester City GUILTY of all 115 charges against them.

They have 72 hours to appeal, they will obviously do so, don't fool yourself.

What's the penalty?  That wasn't announced today.  The independent commission will have to meet again, and there's zero chance, even if the appeal of the main charges goes through, that it consummates during the season.

But, as I said, there is only one apt penalty...

A points deduction would technically result in their demotion to about the regional leagues (the seventh tier).

This is going to set off all kinds of lawsuits where literally billions of pounds are going to be in play.

There is only one proper solution:  Expulsion, dissolution, liquidation.

And HOPE that the result doesn't kill the Premier League outright.

Because there's something a lot of people don't get:  The Premier League itself has all but hitched its future, and the resultant explosion in television rights fees both domestically and internationally, on Manchester City blasting the glass ceiling back when this run started.

And it's now all been declared against the rules by the Premier League.

Expulsion, dissolution, liquidation.

Week Three Political Stock Up, Stock Down, and three more DUD OF THE WEEK NFL nominations...

The awards have already been given out, and they're all in college.  (Though one of these two got close tonight to that hit in Oregon-USC.)

So two more NFL nominees for Dud of the Week...

DeMarco Jackson of the Bears -- for THIS...

Notice how no one on the bears defense celebrated the hit.

Everyone and their mother knew that hit was egregious. pic.twitter.com/wCncS1SL6Z

— That Hurts (@That_Hurts) September 29, 2026

As I said above, that one was CLOSE to the level of problem of that hit in Oregon-USC, but you see from the second replay that the late hit was simply a hard late hit.

That will get fined on Saturday.  And he's very fortunate there was no helmet contact, or he'd be gone and probably suspended.

Jake Hurts:  For this Jake the Awake Slop Play Special, the last real chance Philly had 4th and 5, midfield, at 20-7 down...

This might be in the lead for worst interception thrown of the year.. Yikes.. pic.twitter.com/asK7uxbvAV

— CheddyBurgh✖️ (@CheddyBurgh) September 29, 2026

The Philadelphia Eagles themselves.

What.  The fuck.  Was THAT???

That one's gonna cost you in January if the Bears and Eagles both make the playoffs.

That was only the fourth game this week not to be decided within one score.  And that looked about as bad as New England's and Green Bay's performances this week

And so it gets a place right next to them.

Now, the Stock Ups and Downs:

NFC:

Stock Up:

Chicago:  Someone said it best on X tonight.  BTA (Boots To Asses) against a supposedly elite NFC foe.  If not for whatever that was Week 2, you're 3-0.

Speaking of 3-0:  The 49ers and Vikings, the only two 3-0 teams in the conference.  Can't say either was that expected.

The NFC Norris:  The four teams in the division have eight wins between them.

The NFC Wonderful:  The four teams there?  Seven wins.

New York Giants:  Even trying to figure out who's going to quarterback that team, they are 2-1!

Stock Down:

Green Bay would be listed as a Down, but I don't know how much further down you can go.  I do think there is a very real non-zero chance that the New York Jets might get the #1 Draft Pick, through Green Bay and Dallas.

Philadelphia:  See above

Tampa Bay:  Bad news:  You're the only NFC 0-3 team.  Good news:  The three losses have only been by a total of 17 points.  And you might be favored next week anyway.  Green Bay comes to town.  (Current check, according to ESPN:  Probably not, now that I see Draft Kings has the Packers a 3.5 point favorite, up from 1.5.)

Carolina:  Will the real Carolina Panthers please...  stand up?  Are you the team that fell in a track meet to Chicago?  The one that crushed Atlanta??  Or the one who just lost to DeRapist Rapist in Cleveland???

The NFC Suck, err, South?:  3 weeks, and the four teams in your division have three wins between them, and one of them was intradivision.

Dallas:  How many more weeks or lost seasons is it gonna take before Jerreh cleans house, gets a team together that the NFL wants to have represent them as champion, and then look the Hell out???  Asking for a "friend".

AFC:

Stock Up:

Las Vegas especially:  Anyone have 3-0 for them on your scorecard?  Anyone??  Bueller?  Bueller???

Buffalo and Kansas City:  Two teams you DID have 3-0 for them on your scorecard.

Add the Broncos (not quite on this list) to Vegas and KC, that's 8 wins for the AFC Wonderful.

Baltimore:  A lot of people think they got rigged to it in Rio.  So do I.  That might mean something down the road...

Pittsburgh:  If the bullshit weren't real for the 9-8 Super Bowl first!

The AFC Norris:  All four teams 2-1, eight wins in the division.

Stock Down:

New England:  Eugh.  What was that shit?

The Dolphins, Titans, Texans, and Chargers:  All 0-3.  The Dolphins may be throwing the season, something is badly wrong in LA (both teams, so you can informally add the 1-2 Rams to the NFC Down list!), and the AFC Suck is the AFC Suck.

How bad is it?  A Minnesota team which still is figuring out THEIR QB situation is a double-digit favorite over Miami this week.  Miami has lost all three of their games by at least two touchdowns.

The AFC Suck:  Also three wins between the four teams.

Upon Further Review: Week Three, Part Two: I thought we were going to get away from a real messy one this week otherwise...

Nope.  They either had to rig one for Lamar or against the Rams last night...

The Rams, on the final drive, were called for five penalties in the final two minutes.  That is the most penalties (tied) any one team has been called for in the final two minutes of a game.

This penalty, however, is the one that has the fans up in arms.  It was a defensive pass interference penalty that negated a game-winning Rams interception and set up Baltimore's game-winning touchdown.

🚨 WE HAVE THE WORST CALL IN THE NFL THROUGH WEEK 3 🚨

This is offensive pass interference that would have been declined because Josh Wallace picked this off.

Absolutely atrocious call that might cost the Rams the game. pic.twitter.com/9jnZYXs9pe

— Doug McKain (@DMAC_LA) September 28, 2026

I'm of two thoughts.

It is clear that the receiver is trying to grab the interceptor as he's about to intercept the ball.

There's one major problem with the play if you want to believe the call should've gone the other way.

There's a push-off here first.  And the only way that the interception can be made is that push-off.

DPI is quite callable here.  So this is probably one of the worst cases of rigging, if it is -- you not only can see why the Rams fans are complaining, but you can also see why the call was made.

I can't believe I have to do another of these posts.

And they literally just did the tribute to The Butcher on a Collision.

Last night, PAC, "The Bastard", real name Benjamin Satterly, wrestled on the All Elite Wrestling pay-per-view "All Out" in Chicago.  He wrestled Mexican superstar and International Champion Andrade El Idolo.

Andrade and PAC were then involved in an angle during the main event, a World Championship match between World Champion Will Ospreay and "Death Rider" Jon Moxley.  PAC took a rather stiff elbow to the jaw.  That was his style -- hard-hitting, no apologies.

There were a number of reports after and during the card of a number of injuries, including a major injury to Sting's son, Steve Borden.

PAC, less than 24 hours later, is dead.  He was 40.

After Further Review, 2026 Week Three Part One: One ref-job, one Jake-job.

The first two videos of openly rigged games this week...

The first is the SECOND example IN TWO WEEKS of the NFL's hypocrisy surrounding that Week One call in Detroit where the Saints got ripped off of a defensive touchdown because they ruled a pass clearly barred-arm and going backward not a fumble.

If you remember, Detroit won 31-30 in overtime.

We had one in Week Two, and here's one in Week Three.  And the Saints got FUCKED AGAIN!

This was ruled a fumble

Cheated in broad daylight, wtf pic.twitter.com/lHnd6hvqwh https://t.co/f1apRjXoo5

— Swift (@SwiftYouTube_) September 27, 2026

Raiders win 35-27.

The New Orleans Saints should be 3-0.  Both of their losses can be directly attributable to game rigging on this exact rule.

And then we have a Jake The Awake-level slop play from Rio.

Dallas tied Baltimore with a field goal with seven seconds to go.

Kickoff was a touchback, ball to the 35.

This was the next play.  Watch the space the receiver has when he is able to catch the ball.

LAMAR JACKSON DOT TO ZAY FLOWERS

DID THEY GET THE TIMEOUT? pic.twitter.com/kOxulPackR

— wok (@wokdior) September 27, 2026

Baltimore had one time out left (which they need to have checked the official clock -- stressing NOT THE ONE ON THE SCREEN).  56 yarder at the gun, Triple Cliffhanger for Brazil, Baltimore wins.

Do you want to tell me that the league isn't ONCE AGAIN telling Jerreh to clean his fucking house?

2026 Week Three, Dud of the Week, IN-PROGRESS EDITION -- Part Two, The Medals

Now we head to the college game.  Not only are these the three medals (barring probably open murder or a flagrant rig in the two games left), but I've even got a #4 on this.

I want to make clear something before I do, because the medals don't usually go into the college game.

1) None of these are role players.  They're either stars or get a lot of game time.  Two are consensus top-10 draft picks.

2) At least three of these players should be incarcerated for what they did yesterday.  And there's grounds for at least a fourth, as you'll see.  At least two players on this list have been suspended from their teams.  We will almost certainly have more on that as the week goes on.

3) I have never been so disgusted with American sports in general (or an American SPORT) in general as I was after yesterday.  This isn't just a few bad apples.  This is a sport in decline.

4) For reference:  The minimum NFL salary for a rookie is $885,000.

5) I am almost certain this is NOT an exhaustive list.

HIGH-SCHOOL DISHONORABLE MENTION.  I posted about this earlier in the week, but it merits inclusion here.

#1 Ranked TE & OU Commit @SenecaDriver just Gronk Spiked a DB after an INT 😳 pic.twitter.com/doP22ACEw9

— Red Dirt Media (@RedDirtMediaCo) September 26, 2026

Seneca Driver, according to ESPN Rankings, is the #1 college recruit in the state of Kentucky and the #2 tight end in the entire country.

That was an ejection-level hit to begin with, but that probably is not enough to put the Oklahoma commit on my blog, now twice.

What DOES is the fact that we are not even to October 1, and, had that been an ejection, Driver would have been ejected and suspended for the second time this season.  Under Kentucky rules, that would've been a minimum four-game suspension.

And now, the three medalists from Saturday in college.

BRONZE MEDAL:  A joint award here in Tuscaloosa.  You can give it about 30% to the referees and 70% to star South Carolina edge rusher Dylan Stewart, who was won himself an INDEFINITE BAN from the Gamecocks team and may be THROWN OFF THE TEAM for his actions in the blowout loss.

And it's not just one act either.  TRY FIVE, INCLUDING THREE SIDELINE COACH BLOW-UPS AND AN EJECTION-LEVEL FOUL FOR A PUNCH:

South Carolina has suspended EDGE Dylan Stewart. pic.twitter.com/ARtVnkWfPr

— GUCCE (@gucceCU) September 27, 2026

That's just the Cliffs' Notes version.  At least two incidents in the second quarter, the punch in the fourth.  How he was not ejected (or just sent to the locker room), I have no idea.  (And that's the ONLY reason I give some shit to the refs on this one.)

That said, keep in mind:  This guy is a CONSENSUS TOP-FIVE PICK BEFORE THE SUSPENSION.  He makes $2,000,000 in NIL shit.

And there's only two reasons he's not a runaway winner, over even the Packers.

EDIT TO ADD MONDAY:  The SEC conference, along with South Carolina, have affirmed a one-game suspension for Stewart.  We still don't know what happens from there -- but I extremely suspicious this piece of shit has made a business decision.

The indefinite ban is still in force -- we may find out tomorrow (Tuesday 9/29) as to whether he will return to the team.

JOINT GOLD-MEDAL WINNER:  The University of Texas football team, specifically at least their coach Steve Sarkasian, Raleek Brown, Colin Simmons. and several unidentified staff.

The only reason this is a joint winner with the other one I will list is the criminal actions of the other one.

Because at least Brown and Simmons need to be in jail today, facing charges.

Why?

Because this was a nationally-televised game on ABC -- a broadcast television network in the United States, meaning that the Federal Communications Commission has jurisdiction over the broadcast...

If we are going to throw a fit over Janet Jackson (when we should be throwing a fit over Justin Timberlake instead!), then please explain to me why THIS didn't get Brown ejected and arrested for indecency, not just in Tennessee but over the Federal television airwaves:

pic.twitter.com/e5u2zUqSxi

— Mr. Salmons (@MrSalmons) September 26, 2026

$1 million in NIL, people. 

or Simmons, who was flagged for THIS.  Simmons is a projected top-10 draft pick making $2.5 million from NIL from the likes of NIKE:

Colin Simmons 2027 NFL Draft 🚩

This sack “celebration” by Simmons will become part of the conversation within NFL buildings leading up to the draft. The question will be, “Is this the kind of behavior we want representing us?”

It sheds light into Simmons character, his level… pic.twitter.com/B3Bj4ir4s9

— FIRST ROUND MOCK (@firstroundmock) September 27, 2026

Again, for emphasis:  I am not speaking of the concept these acts happened on the Tennessee field, except for statute jurisdiction in general.  These acts took place on FCC NATIONAL BROADCAST TELEVISION! 

And there are NFL teams, as I told First Round Mock, who would gladly take this attitude, especially with the five sacks he had in the game that went with it!

And, though those two got most of the attention, someone found THIS from after the game on top of it!

Texas staff trying to pull game ball from Kayin Lee after Texas win over the Vols @SportNState pic.twitter.com/zXLY6f09MK

— Stephanie Otey (@StephOtey) September 26, 2026

As of today -- and this can obviously change (just ask Michigan, who got last-played by Iowa this week!) -- I think we have our current idea:  Texas is the national champion, they've been told it, and they know it.  Anything to pimp Arch Manning as the #1 draft pick, which, at this point, is looking headed to either the Dolphins or the Jets (through the Packers and Cowboys).

And don't forget:  PIGFUCKER WAS THERE!

So a message to Pigfucker:  You are not going to Save College Sports until NIL is ERADICATED.  These are professional players who believe they are above the rules, their coaches, and everything else.

Texas is the #1 team in the nation also in NIL money:  $47,500,000 according to what sources can be found.

But there was a criminal act on Saturday so egregious that it has to share the gold, and for that, we go to California:

JOINT GOLD MEDAL:  Desman Stephens II, for an injurious criminal act.  He's been suspended one game by the team and should be suspended more by the Big Ten.

This was the play:

Easy ejection and just a dirty hit. This type of action needs to be removed from the game entirely. Moore is clearly giving himself up. pic.twitter.com/C7a69DGTaP

— Gene Steratore (@GeneSteratore) September 27, 2026

This was after:

DESMAN STEPHENS SEEN SMILING AND DAPPING UP USC PLAYERS AFTER A DIRTY HIT ON DANTE MOORE JUST SICK pic.twitter.com/R9xBwvUaCm

— FD (@flooduck) September 27, 2026

That was assault, and his actions on the sideline indicate malice aforethought.  The quarterback (Dante Moore of Oregon) was not going to be hit until he started sliding (hence, ending the play), where Stephens laid the lumber to the tune of a 15-minute stoppage in the game and the Oregon quarterback taken from the field in an ambulance.  Moore is now out indefinitely with a concussion, though reports from Oregon indicate it may be no more than a concussion, so it's a question of how bad it is going forward.

$425,000 by the way.

Desman Stephens II SHOULD BE ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT.  Dino Cicarelli his ass!

2026 Week Three DUD OF THE WEEK, In-Progress Edition -- Part One, The Nominees

(I'm going to split this into two posts.  It's going to be WAY TOO FREAKING LONG otherwise.  A number of X embeds is going into the two posts.  Forewarned now.)

Well, you remember what I said Thursday Night about Green Bay?

Not only is Green Bay spared the gold, Green Bay (AND THE ENTIRE NFL) is being spared ALL THREE MEDALS.

Obviously, we will still "honor" Green Bay and NFL teams with nominations.  Short of murder, and it's pretty much going to take that now...

Hell, I'm not even sure after yesterday that Green Bay finishes FOURTH on the list!!! 

So, first off, nominees from the NFL:

Green Bay Packers.  Don't need to rehash, you can probably go two pages back from this to have me rant about Thursday night.

New England Patriots.  Turn out the lights, the honeymoon is OVER for the AFC champs.  On a week, so far, with only three games finishing outside one score (Monday night pending), you go to Jacksonville, a 1-1 team not showing that much...

And you lose THIRTY-FIVE TO SIX.

That, probably, is second to Green Bay for on-field ineptitude.

Who or whatever in the league or Jaguars told Trevor Lawrence to do THIS...

This won’t get talked about because they won easily but this is one of the most bizarre game management mistakes in recent NFL history. Did someone tell him to do this?

Over 8 minutes left! pic.twitter.com/0l4gmXnGWH

— Ryan Paganetti (@RyanPaganetti) September 27, 2026

That was on SOMEBODY'S orders.  There are a number of these incidents popping up, and I'm not even nominating Lawrence here.  But this is one of the more egregious ones I've seen.

EDIT TO ADD MONDAY NOON:  Fanatics Sportsbook is refunding (in credits) all bets on Lawrence scoring a touchdown in the game.

Either the NFL rulebook itself or the general understanding of same via NFL fans.  I am going to present two plays in this nomination.  See the two things they had in common.  The X posts will mention one of the two things.

This was flagged for roughing the passer

I swear we’re learning new rules every week pic.twitter.com/JxP4yPJWWU

— Trizzy Trace (@tracegirouard48) September 27, 2026

In what world is this roughing the passer? Does not hit to the head or neck area, and makes the best attempt to not land on him with his full body weight.

Mahomes and the Chiefs draw the penalty... pic.twitter.com/xvkAG2Irh3

— Rate the Refs (@Rate_the_Refs) September 27, 2026

Both are correct calls.  Both will almost certainly be fined on Saturday. I get it, Mahomes gets the flags, etc. in the second case.  Facts are facts:  The Clay Matthews Rule remains a problem -- either for the NFL, or the general understanding of the game and rules among fans.

And before we go to Week Three in earnest, the cherry on top...

As reported here last week, Azeez Al-Shaair of the Texans was fined for putting the name of a Palestinian girl on his eyeblack -- consistent with league rules.

Even so, he did it again last week.

And, correctly, he was ordered by the game officials to remove his eyeblack completely.  If he did not, he would be ejected from the game.

Here's another college football example of the game out of control...

Another pet peeve of mine:

It's all about the quarterback.

So the quickest way to victory on the field?

INJURE HIS ASS WITH A CHEAP SHOT!

Oregon-USC:

Sliding feet 1st was supposed to be a way to protect QBs, instead it's turned into an easy head shot: pic.twitter.com/VHAeQeIy9E

— College Sports Only (@CSOonX) September 27, 2026

If I'm the referee, that's an Oregon touchdown for the flagrant foul plus the unsportsmanlike action afterward.

And I eject the USC player TWICE.  Once for the hit, another for flagrant intent to injure.

The quarterback was taken in an ambulance.  The USC player smiled on the sidelines.

Arrest that cocksucker too.  Assault and battery, intent to do grave harm.

You know what?  Green Bay MIGHT get off the hook at the rate things are going.

Further comments on social-media buzz of the out-of-control nature of football...

#1:  The SEC needs action against Coach Sarkasian of Texas.  It is clear he is fully excusing the conduct of his players, even though...

#2:  Colin Simmons and Raleek Brown should be arrested and thrown in a local jail tonight.

I am not kidding, nor am I saying metaphorically because their actions took place on the Tennessee field.

Both of them not only violated FCC indecency laws which are going to bring broadcast partner ABC onto the carpet, but at least Simmons violated Tennessee's indecency laws.

Don't believe me?  Read the definition of "nudity" under Tennessee's indecency statute:

"(1) “Nudity” or “state of nudity” means the showing of the bare human male or female genitals or pubic area with less than a fully opaque covering, the showing of the female breast with less than a fully opaque covering of the areola, or the showing of the covered male genitals in a discernibly turgid state. Nudity or state of nudity does not include a mother in the act of nursing the mother's baby;"

When Simmons represented himself as putting his fist in front of his crotch, he was representing a penis in turgid state, as if FOOBAW MAN FROM TEXASS (read:  God...) had the biggest dick in the stadium and wasn't afraid to show it.

He should be EXPELLED from the University of Texas, so should Brown.

He won't be.  He's GOD because he's FOOBAW MAN FROM TEXASS...

And this shithead Simmons is making $2,500,000 in NIL money from the likes of Dodge Ram and Nike.

Don't bother asking for boycotts or removals.  Someone will just take his place.

Speaking of God, maybe this one from another state heading to Oklahoma...

And he did all this with Pigfucker in attendance?  Hell, Kegsbreath is probably creaming about this sow!

#3, I want to reiterate something from the other incident really making the rounds this afternoon -- the slam tackle from the #1 tight-end recruit heading to Oklahoma.

He was ejected and suspended a game for unsportsmanlike conduct earlier this season.

He should've been ejected from last night's game for injurious conduct, one of the definitions of a flagrant (disqualification) high-school football foul.

We haven't even hit October 1st yet.  Let that process.

2026 NFL Week Two Fine Blotter: The Saturday Announcement

As has been made apparent, the illegal celebration fouls are completely out of control, one way or the other.  After what I saw put over the broadcast airwaves through actions by players of the University of Texas this morning, I do not want to hear another fucking word about the taunting penalties or the celebration fines.

I am wondering if part of this is a disturbing trend I'm seeing on social media this season -- an increasing number of tauntings and fights and spearing and all that stuff at kid and high school levels.  This DOES come down from the NFL, and the fact is the kids are seeing these actions in the NFL and emulating them, up to and including intent to injure and starting brawls.

The start of the season has basically made celebration fouls, especially those depicting alcohol (which is fucking hilarious, but that's another thing), a Point of Emphasis.  And it's clear that, after this fine blotter, it needs to be strengthened.  As in New York has to get in and have these flagged as "non-football acts", including notifying the officials if flags aren't on the field.

I wish the NFL would come out with a directive on that and state it openly, but I do wonder if they're getting the message that the boys are NOT all right and that things are out of control.

How out of control?  Above and beyond what I've already blogged about today:  As of Friday, I counted no less than THIRTEEN incidents of illegal celebrations to be on today's Fine Blotter and Game Accountability situation.  

Just in Week Two.

And that's BEFORE we find out on Saturday how many more there might be...

Here's that list of just those thirteen (and one more from the same incident as one of them, not reported previously, updated for the fine amounts in the Saturday Game Accountability announcement.

• Cincinnati:  Ja'Marr Chase, $29,852 for two incidents
• Cincinnati:  Tee Higgins, $59,704 for FOUR incidents.  Between the two, FIVE obscene gestures and a vulgar act of it's own merit.  Four of the six were committed in the second quarter.  Three of them in a 69-second span.  NONE were flagged.
• Detroit:  Amon-Ra St. Brown, $59,704, FOUR incidents during the game.  All vulgar acts, three in the third quarter, once again, NONE WERE FLAGGED.
• Dallas:  Jake Ferguson, $13,611, "drinking" the ball.  This one probably stands, ball as prop.
• Dallas:  Brevyn Spann-Ford, $10,417 for participation in the same illegal celebration.
• Indianapolis:  Matt Gonclaves, $8,847 -- another ball as prop "drinking" situation, so that one probably stands.
• San Francisco:  Kyle Juszczyk, $14,926 for his illegal celebration, making him a TWO-TIME LOSER if that stands.

NONE OF THE FOURTEEN INCIDENTS WERE FLAGGED!!!!

Bud Light has opened up a fans' celebration situation and placed the combined totals of Ferguson's, Gonclaves' and Juszczyk's fines in it.  (Not clear yet as to whether they will add Spann-Ford's ten grand to the "jar" after today's announcement.)  No word yet on what actually it's going to do -- free beer, contests for cash, hasn't been announced yet.

Someone please explain to me why Chase, Higgins, and St. Brown are allowed to play this week, by the way.

So there's that.

There were four others in the same ilk, totaling EIGHTEEN such incidents this week:

• San Francisco:  Kyle Juszczyk received a second $14,926 fine earlier in the third-quarter drive, NOT FLAGGED, spinning the ball and drinking.  Again, ball as prop, that one should stand. And you can add his name to the list I gave above of players who should be ejected or suspended.
• Detroit:  Jahmyr Gibbs, $14,926, making him a TWO-TIME LOSER in two weeks
• Detroit:  Pennell Sewell, $14,926 
• Detroit:  And a FIFTH NFL player who should've been tossed/suspended:  Jameson Williams:  $14,926 for participating with St. Brown, Gibbs, and Sewell in the toking session, and another $11,941 for a separate taunting incident.

By the way, that is eight different Unsportsmanlike Conduct incidents for the Lions and six for the Bengals.  I would hope there were unannounced team fines in both cases.  If there weren't, I would then almost certainly believe you will see much of this reversed.

There were also three other Taunting fines this week, making a total of TWENTY-ONE Unsportsmanlike Conduct fines out of the 38 this week:

• New Orleans:  Chris Olave, $11,941
• New York Jets:  Geno Smith, $11,941
• San Francisco:  Upton Stout, $7,501

Well, we can finally get to everything else:

Face Masks:

• Atlanta:  Jake Matthews, $11,941
• Baltimore:  Roquan Smith, $11,941 That was the uncalled facemask on the controversial touchdown.
• Cincinnati:  DJ Turner, $11,941
• Cleveland:  Sam Williams, $6,361
• Detroit:  Tyler Lacy, $7,315
• Detroit:  Devin White, $7,222
• Pittsburgh:  Payton Wilson, $8,480

Late Hit:

• Arizona:  Karson Sharar, $5,372

Roughing the Passer:

• Baltimore:  Trey Hendrickson, $17,911, body weight
• Kansas City:  Jaden Hicks, $6,707, blow to the head
• San Francisco:  Keion White, $13,770, body weight

Striking/Kicking/Kneeing/etc.

• Tennessee:  Calvin Ridley, $12,537 -- I have him down as a two-time loser, but that's not going to get capitalized in this case, because I think it's apparent Ridley won his appeal from Week 1 on a similar charge, or this fine would've been doubled.
• Washington:  Odafe Oweh, $12,537

Helmet fouls (again, I'm not sure on these specifically regarding the new three-strikes rule):

• Chicago:  Tyrique Stevenson, $22,342.  Biggest single fine of the week.

Which leaves these as Points of Emphasis strikes:

• Buffalo:  Chauncey Gardner-Johnson, $11,194, hip-drop tackle, first strike
• Denver:  Alex Singleton, $17,911, defenseless player rule, first strike, TWO-TIME LOSER.
• Washington:  Jeremy Reaves, $10,277, defenseless player rule, first strike

And then three fines which were completely unmarked other than Unnecessary Roughness, so we don't know what these are for and whether these qualify under the PoE -- we assume they were not:

• Green Bay:  Ty'Ron Hopper, $8,325, on the opening kickoff, not flagged.
• Green Bay:  Chris McClellan, $7,167, a fourth-quarter hit on a muffed punt.  It was flagged.
• Tennessee:  Jeffery Simmons, $11,941, first-quarter incident, not flagged.  And he got away with an Unsportsmanlike Conduct fine of his own in the fourth quarter, when he went to the Philadelphia fans in attendance near his sideline, grabbed his crotch, and yelled "SUCK MY DICK!" after Tennessee took the lead.

If you got to the end of this, thank you.

Before we get to the Fine Blotter, what the NFL is up against...

I said yesterday that I think the NFL is seeing what's happening at lower levels and reacting -- with both the illegal hits and the after-play stuff.

Here's an example.  The slamming player (who damn well should've been ejected) is a Kentucky Player of the Year and the #1 recruited tight end in the nation.  This is what he did after a goal-line interception -- a clear ejection-level slam for injurious conduct in high-school football:

#1 Ranked TE & OU Commit @SenecaDriver just Gronk Spiked a DB after an INT 😳 pic.twitter.com/doP22ACEw9

— Red Dirt Media (@RedDirtMediaCo) September 26, 2026

That's me:  He's ejected, suspended, and referred to the school for a school suspension.  That is clear Intent To Injure. 

AND WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!

In another tweet, we find out that the player, Seneca Driver, has already been ejected and suspended from a game for unsportsmanlike conduct earlier in the season!

EDIT TO ADD ANOTHER ONE FROM TODAY:  12:25 PM PDT

Texas and Tennessee are playing a top-15 matchup in Tennessee today.

A Texas player, Collin Simmons, a member of the #1 team in the nation, celebrated a sack today by mocking urinating on the field.

I won't dignify that by posting it.  It's all over the Net.

Yes, he was flagged.  No, it should've been flagrant and he should've been gone.

And since the game is on ABC, that's an FCC violation too.  So they can expect to be fined, which I hope they turn over to the University of Texas.

(And yes, I filed one.)

AND WAIT, THERE'S STILL MORE!!!

A SECOND FCC violation by the University of Texas.

Raleek Brown scored the first touchdown in the 20-17 win.

For his touchdown celebration, he pantomimed smelling his balls and passing out.  Brown was NOT penalized.

Smelling your own balls and passing out is INSANE pic.twitter.com/u6WhphiDJA

— Hater Report (@HaterReport) September 26, 2026

Upon Further Review: You expected NORTHWESTERN to be given a fair shake over the B1G's new darling, Indiana?

From the new X account tied to this blog directly (which will almost certainly be banned within four weeks once some transphobic ass like Nancy Mace starts in):

The Big Ten was supposed to be allow viewers to listen in to the replay review but the audio only worked from the Referee, not the Replay Center.

Would have been helpful to see how the Replay Center didn’t have this out of bounds at the 11. But alas 🤷🏻‍♂️ https://t.co/1bDGAUnvmV

— OfficiatingObserver17 (@RefObserver17) September 26, 2026

2026 NFL Fine Blotter, Week Two, Part Three: Whatever happens, New York MUST get involved...

Another charge of persistent unsportsmanlike conduct:

• Detroit:  Amon Ra-St. Brown:  Over $56,000 -- we'll get the precise number tomorrow -- for four different incidents of Ra-St. Brown mock-smoking during play.

OK, NFL.  It's time for New York to get involved.

You have to have league officials watching each game.  They have to be able to buzz the officials to throw flags on this crap.

If the fines stand, then all three players involved should've been suspended for Week Three.  Because all three players should've been ejected from their games for the Unsportsmanlike Conduct Rule.

There needs to be a league directive, and I'm afraid the time has come:  ANYTHING other than Hand The Ball To The Ref, Shut The Fuck Up, And Go To Your Huddle Or Sideline, is 15 yards and a strike to ejection.

EDIT TO ADD 1:50 PM PDT 9/25/26:  Now that Super Fraud has it's own X account -- for now...  (I don't see that lasting four weeks with my political stands), ANOTHER taunting/illegal celebration fine:

• Dallas:  Jake Ferguson was fined, presumably the about 14 grand, we'll find out tomorrow.  Another "drinking of beer" celebration.

This one probably should stand.  There's an important distinction.  The use of a ball as a prop has been a penalty and a fine for a number of years.  THAT should allow this one to stand where Juszczyk's has to be an issue.

Manchester City Found Guilty Of Financial Foul Play

But it's so serious, the question is:  What can really be done, short of expulsion from the English soccer pyramid?

ESPN has received information that Manchester City has been found guilty of basically all of the 115 Financial Fair Play charges which have been literally hanging over its head for the last several years.

Manchester City has not denied, in concept, they have been found guilty of all of the charges except one.

Obviously, City will appeal any determination as such, and any sanctions as a result.

The initial investigation took four years, and to get to this point took another three and a half.

The charges of violation of Financial Fair Play rules span from 2009 to 2018.  Manchester City won three Premier League championships directly in that span -- then, in 2018-19, they won the domestic treble:  Premier League, FA Cup, League Cup.  The finished in the Champions League positions four of the other five years in that span.

And that's before they won four in a row from 2020-21 to 2023-24.

Throw em out.  Part and parcel.

It can very easily be concluded the entire Manchester City championship run of the last FIFTEEN YEARS has been due to Financial Foul Play.

This isn't one or two guilty verdicts -- this is ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTEEN.

What other penalty can there be but expulsion from the Premier League and from English soccer?  Even if the ramifications of it mean the end of the Premier League, which some pundits think might be a good thing.

There is no basically zero basis nor legitimacy in ANY of this fifteen-year run of dominance.

Since 2009:

• 8 Premier League championships
• In the Champions League every year since 2010-2011
• 6 FA Cup Finals
• 2 FA Cups
• Only 2 Champions' League finals, one of which they won, both in the 2020's.

And not a shred of it legitimate.

Not one.

2026 NFL Fine Blotter, Week Two Part Two: The People's Fines?

And this is the biggest fine of the year, if the MSN report of that is true.  We'll find out Saturday.

But the Cincinnati Bengals' two star players, Ja'Marr Chase and Tee Higgins, have been fined over $80,000, per the report, for The People's Elbow.

Six Times!

I'm actually surprised the league didn't buzz the officials for a "non-football act" penalty for that.

Six times???  And no flags???

Look, I might have some issues with the FOOBAW MAN, but you better have a DAMN GOOD REASON for that one...

Pat McAfee got one right between the eyes on Monday.

And I'm not surprised I can't find audio or video to back it up.

On Monday, Pat got a Tweet from someone who wanted to see him "Kirk'd on air live."

And he asked what that meant...

The show basically stopped when they all realized it was a call for assassination.

I'm sure McAfee is a right-wing prick -- given his time in WWE and now on ESPN.

But that is quite the stretch...  Unless you're willing to try to pull it off.

Take it from someone who knows.

Barring probably a major off the field incident in the next 72-96 hours, we have our DUD OF THE WEEK for Week 3...

I didn't know how much can be worse than this, and then the college football week showed up.  I gave these guys the gold medal on Thursday, and nothing Sunday appears to have stopped it, so I guess this would be the NFL "winner", but I've got at least THREE from Saturday to beat it for all the medals.  Still, this is a nominee...

The Green Bay Packers.

Are we seriously now trying to tank Arch Manning to the [correction, see below] ...?  I could actually see a rigging angle which has that as the outcome at this point.

17 yards is all you got on the ground -- at least a team record if not an NFL record going back to 1933.

35-14 to a team who lost 34-3 last week -- and it wasn't even THAT CLOSE.

If Matt LaFleur is still the coach as of the close of business tomorrow... (Still hopeful on Sunday...)

Correction:  Dallas traded the better of their first round picks to the Jets as part of the package to get Quinton Williams in November.  So the Jets are now looking to be the Tank Bowl team.

2026 NFL Week Two Fine Blotter, Part One: Ummmmm, No, NFL....

Where's my Picard "Why Me?" Facepalm when I need it?

I think I might've seen the most ridiculous fine.

It will be announced on Saturday and I probably will put it on the list, but I found out about it today and, well...  this one's anal.

• San Francisco:  Kyle Juszczyk becomes the first known TWO-TIME LOSER.  He got just over $20,000 last week for a helmet foul.  This week, he's fined $14,926 under the "illegal celebration" rule.

This one had better get appealed and reversed.  Juszczyk's nickname is "Juice", so, when he scored a third quarter touchdown, he mimicked opening juice and chugging it --as he apparently has for a long time.

The NFL fined him because they saw the action as a chugging of beer, and declared that offensive and outside the sportsmanship parameters of the league...

....

....

A league which has been married to beer and other alcoholic beverages since TIME FUCKING IMMEMORIAL!!!

Now, if you HAVE changed the rules to "Basically anything other than handing the ball to the ref is 15", fine.  Blame the culture of the game for having had to, but there are indications that it is getting there.  One of the taunting fouls in either a college or pro game earlier in the season was for the player declaration he had achieved a first down -- USUALLY that's not covered unless it's in the face of another player.

Juszczyk claims he doesn't even DRINK beer!!  So the only thing I can think of -- and it would be long overdue if it actually were the case, is the "Basically anything other than handing the ball to the ref is 15" Principle.

The league has tried this before -- back in the days of the sack dances and all of that.  So it's POSSIBLE.  Not likely, but possible.  This one, however, has gotta come back unless there's more to this than has been reported.

And the most unsurprising living CTE case in the history of football continues...

Antonio Brown is going to plead out to his attempted murder case -- two weeks after the victim basically said they didn't wanna be part of it anymore.

As I believed when this started, is anyone at all surprised that the biggest CTE case in the history of the NFL got tied up in an attempted murder rap?

Seriously??

Not by my hand, but Antonio Brown is a dead man walking.  The only question is who he finally pisses off enough to get offed.

After Further Review, Jake's Slop Plays, Week 2

There I go.  After four tries, got X account #12 banned for telling Nancy Mace the truth about transgenderism and why I'm still on the outside.  Fuck Elon, I'll be back.  Only question is when.

And it's time to see what Jake the Awake has for his slop-play video for Week 2.

10)  Chargers-Raiders.  No score, first quarter, 3rd and 5 at the Charger 22.

Justin (S)Herbert beats two Raider defenders and puts the ball right into his receiver's hands...

Right into the receiver's hands...

A receiver who then intentionally juggles the ball, pops it into the air, and you get the interception.

9)  Dolphins-49ers.  14-6 49ers, first drive of the third quarter.  SF on the Miami 12.

And we get to see yet another example of a team TRYING to go 0-17.

George Kittle (after some defensive holding), is just tapped on the shoulder and let go by the Miami defender.  Kittle catches a touchdown with NO ONE WITHIN TEN YARDS!!!

San Francisco wins 35-13.

In this day and age, that one is so obvious that there should be an investigation.

8) Jaguars-Broncos.  13-6 Jacksonville, late third quarter, Jacksonville has the lead and the ball near midfield.

I won't QUITE agree with the thought of throwing it over the middle, but where Trevor Lawrence actually threw it was where the only person who could've caught it was one of the Denver Broncos.

Denver wins 20-13.

7) Chicago-Minnesota.  A field goal, and it's NOT "Return of the Doink".  6-3 Minnesota, 6 minutes to go, chip shot 23 yard field goal for the Bears.

#87 for the Bears needs an investigation, because he completely "misses" the snap count, gets passed right by, BLOCKED!!!

Then Jake turns his attention to Doinks -- he isn't quite ready to break out the music yet, but he explains his rationale for the segment in an aside.  He starts with the third Minnesota field goal, which doinks IN from about the same distance as the blocked Chicago one -- and, unlike some of the manipulations he charges, this one looked like it was a called shot off the upright!

Then he shows New England-Pittsburgh and claims possible manipulation of the late third-quarter field goal which gives New England a 13-3 lead.  This one looks a bit more natural, even though he could (and almost certainly does) make the claim that the kick was nowhere close before the manipulation sent it through.

And he correctly notes that doinks used to be exceptionally rare -- until, what was it, the Double Doink of that Bears kicker in the playoffs and the NFL and its fans got a hard-on for Doinks?

#6:  NOW he breaks out the music:  "Return of the Doink" time.

He shows the Minnesota made Doink FG again.

He then shows (again, he did so during his rationale segment too) a Chargers-Raiders FG attempt from 59...  And the magnet pull probably pulled it back to the upright, but it was missed.

Two more this week, I think that makes four now, if not five.

#5:  Back to Chargers-Raiders again, for the third time in this video.  24-14 Raiders, 3 minutes to go, 3rd and 11 deep in Chargers territory for the Chargers.

It's Herbert's second interception.  And THIS ONE is Herbert's fault, or so alleged.

Clean pocket, no real pressure, underthrown into triple coverage where the only person who could've caught it was a Las Vegas Raider.

#4:  Philly-Tennessee, and this was the play he used as a "hook" at the top of the video.  (Did a better job with the separation this week.)

And this was the Cliffhanger Game Winner (so if there's three more than this on his list...).  20-17, less than 15 seconds to go, Philly on the Titans 3.

One receiver falls down, both defenders bite, and the receiver that splits them is wide open in the end zone for the game-winner.

The 28-minute video is barely half over, and we are on #3:  Cleveland-Tampa.  1:23 to go in the third, 1st and 10 for Cleveland at their 45 after a face mask.

16-9 Tampa, and DeRapist Rapist completes a pass to Denzel Boston for about 15 in the air.  The other 40 on the ground came after three defenders all missed their tackles and a fourth couldn't catch him.

Cleveland won 23-19.  This is prototypical of the types of plays Jake looks for.  Complete slop on the part of the defense that makes it look like the offensive player made a play, but...

16:32 of the video, and it's #2:  Baltimore-New Orleans.

The worst of the scripted interceptions, according to Jake, and it's Lamar Jackson.  And it's a game-decider, being the final drive, 20 seconds left, Baltimore down by 7 at the New Orleans 37.

This one was so bad, my peer facilitator in my hometown I had a meeting with alerted me to this one unprompted!    Overthrown by SEVEN YARDS after a blown coverage, only guy who could catch it was the safety for New Orleans.  Ballgame.

So you have two game-deciders on this list (three if you count one of the Returns of the Doink/the blocked field goal coming before it...).

So he has nine minutes or so for #1, and we return to Chicago-Minnesota.  Chicago has the ball inside the Minnesota 10, 1st and goal.

Caleb Williams rolls out, directs traffic...  Vikings defender falls down...

I can't buy this one, especially because of #2 and #4.  Yes, he has a blocker in front of him, but he also has another Viking defender bearing down on him BEHIND the blocker.  So he surrenders the play.

And, apparently, his hamstring.

Jake's position is many of these injuries are scripted.  I don't agree.  He could've caught a cleat in the turf because he had to avoid the first tackler, and there goes the hamstring there and then.

And, many think, the very real possibility the Bears season may have gone with it.

Jake spends the rest of the time talking about the doctor on call for FOX to analyze the injuries (that, again, Jake finds fake)...

Let me put it this way:  When Jaxson Dart got injured on Monday Night, that was the end of that game.  Rapeis Winston couldn't move the team if he had a forklift to do so.  So that injury to Dart basically took all the wind out of that game.  Why would you want to fake that?  Serious question.

Accountability... Whoda thunk it?

And coming from about the last coach one might EXPECT to show it...

Deion Sanders has expelled a number of players from his Colorado team after several players were seen laughing on the sideline as they were getting thrashed by Northwestern 41-7.

OK, Deion -- I respect that and specifically that.

The next thing you need to do is start investigating those former players, because I can tell you exactly a scenario in which that would happen, but I don't think you want to go there.

Otherwise, your statement is absolutely correct:  "I don't understand how in the world you can find joy, or you can find a laughing matter when I'm right behind you walking [into the locker room]," Sanders said Saturday. "I don't understand that, and I addressed it, and I'm going to put my foot in it, not on it."

2026 Week Two Political Stock Up And Down

Again, too early to tell -- though I think we're getting an impression from that ring you showed off Sunday night, Mrs. Kelce!

Stock up, no particular order:

AFC:

Buffalo:  Yeah, rigged as fuck, but that was a solid win over Detroit.

Cincinnati:  Don't look now, Cincy is 2-0.  Can't say either of the teams they beat look THAT good, but they're doing the work.

Kansas City:  Duh.

NFC:

Minnesota:  Gotta give em credit for the win over Chicago, even if the no-TD game is WTF...

Seattle

The NFC West:  Six wins between the four teams.

Holding off:

San Francisco:  Still not sure where the Rams are going to be this year yet with the whole Puka Nacua thing (incident AND injury), so don't know how their 2-0 looks yet.

Las Vegas:  Yeah, yeah, they're 2-0 and have New Orleans this week.  Reality hits NEXT WEEK when Kansas City comes to town.

Stock Down:

AFC:

Pittsburgh:  What the Hell was that?  The High End Talent made sure the Bullshit was NOT real, and that got messy fast!

New York Jets:  How did you let THAT ONE get away?

NFC:

Chicago:  Proving the whole Week One track meet was fraudulent.

DUD OF THE WEEK AWARD:

Nominees:

The Miami Division II Football Team.  I do wonder if the Hurricanes could beat you fuckers right now.  Those first two weeks have been DISGRACEFUL.  And Week Three doesn't get any easier:  Here comes Kansas City.

Atlanta.  What.  The Fuck.  Was THAT?  You better hope you don't slam your Penix in the car door Thursday night in Lambeau.

The LA Chargers.  We thought you were supposed to be at least outside players for the playoffs -- and you lose to the Cardinals AND the Raiders, by identical 26-14 scores?

Tampa Bay.  How do you lose to DeRapist Rapist and CLEVELAND?  I guess the only thing which could be worse is if Shedeur was the quarterback.

Quarterback injuries.  At least three major ones this week took a lot of the steam out of games, including the Monday nighter.

Bronze medal:  The AFC South.  Jacksonville's win over Cleveland is the only win the entire division has through two weeks.

Silver medal:  NBC in general, Cris Collingsworth in particular.  So you start with a Chiefs rim-job piece before the game, Collingsworth can't get off Mahomes' dick, and you just HAD TO have Taylor showing off the ring after her husband's touchdown.  Yeah, this is going to be a legitimate game.

(And yes, that one call in the overtime aside, because the league was going, instead, for the LAST...  POSSIBLE...  SECOND... angle with Mahomes and the Chiefs.)

Gold medal:  Keenan Allen, the other probable catalyst for Sunday night.  So you get charged for your DUI formally during the season, and you expect the league not to take immediate action -- at barest minimum, to ensure a result against your team...

2026 Week Two Score Report

Well, this week looked a bit more sane than Week 1 -- at least after Thursday night...

• 647 points this week, not even 40.5 this week after basically a 50 per last week!
• 1,438 points for the two weeks, then.  Average:  44.94
• Home teams were 7-9, 17-14 for the season.
• 6 Cliffhangers in 3 games this week -- GB snags an overtime FG to Escape From New York, a double in Tennessee with a go-ahead FG for TEN at 1:56, only to get the winning TD pass for Philly at 9 seconds, and Sunday night's shenanigans.
  5 Last Chance Misses, including Chicago getting four shots from the 20 and inside the last four plays...
• Also including a 4-bagger in Kansas City for the rig-job Sunday night.  Long pass play at the gun almost gets there for Mahomes, and three overtime field goals for the triple-cliffhanger on top.
• 7 non-competitive games -- which means, of the first 32 games, fully 13 never were within eight points at any point in the fourth quarter.  There's going to be a LOT of shit football this year.
• Only one other game finished within eight points, and one other was within 8 at some point in the fourth quarter but didn't finish there.
• 9 Cliffhangers in five games, 11 Last Chance Misses, 4 other games finished within 8, and 3 were within 8 at some point in the fourth quarter but didn't finish there.

It's official, the NFL wanted to kill somebody yesterday...

And we haven't broken the planet...

The Titans field in Tennessee was so hot yesterday..

(HOW HOT WAS IT???)

The field temperature was measured at 157 degrees Fahrenheit.

So hot some of the cleats for some of the players yesterday actually MELTED.

Yeah, they wanted someone to die yesterday.

Week Two, After Further Review, Week Two: Not a doubt in my mind... But the NFL wanted to make sure for both itself and Vegas...

After the DUI earlier in the week, there was no chance Indy was going to win.

So why, Chiefs lovers ask, was THIS PLAY allowed to be reversed?

Referees overturned what was initially called a game-ending fumble after a 48-yard catch by Laquon Treadwell pic.twitter.com/ppwyOw6eWD

— Jomboy Media (@JomboyMedia) September 21, 2026

Why?

For the last...  possible...  second...  field goal for the Chiefs, including Mr. Taylor Swift with the Mrs. showing off the ring after he scores the first touchdown of the night.

EDIT TO ADD Monday Morning 7:45 AM PDT:  AND Colts coach Shane Steichen says the 4th and 8 that they took the FG, went for the tie, and gave the ball back to Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs for the winning drive, they'd have gone for it...  if the coverage was right?

You can't make up this comedy!!!

And, not only that, but they get the Vegas bettors on the Chiefs -6.

The house wins, three different ways.  NBC gets a last-second overtime winner, the Chiefs win, and the Chiefs do not cover.

Week Two, After Further Review, Part One: I think I've seen an NFL anomaly...

I don't usually pull out stuff during the week, but this one needs a mention.

When I'm not banned from searching, I will search #Rigged on various platforms.

I found this play from Baltimore-New Orleans today.  It was called a touchdown.

Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have found a play that can be declared for BOTH TEAMS SIMULTANEOUSLY.

Not only is that not a touchdown, but there's a nice little facemask in the play too!

ABSOLUTELY...ROBBED! #rigged https://t.co/agDEUIsxu6

— Downfield Read (@DownfieldRead) September 20, 2026

EDIT TO ADD 5:25 PM PDT:

And that took one week.  Given the call last week, how is this not at least an incomplete pass?

NFL Officiating, along with its product overall, has declined significantly in my opinion over the past several years.

Game altering decisions. This is an incomplete pass. 10 people sitting at a bar could all agree on it. Nope! Not the NFL! https://t.co/k0kWplFLUU

— OfficiatingObserver17 (@RefObserver17) September 20, 2026

Some thoughts on Week Two

• Last week the Bears scored 59 points.  This week:  3.  Minnesota is 2-0 in two of the ugliest wins this league has produced in some time.
• And, while we're on the subject: Last week, the Panthers gave up 59 points and lost 59-37. Well, they got one thing consistent this week: They scored 34 -- but only gave up 3!!!
• The 49ers will go 2-0, and the march toward a very probable 0-16 for the Dolphins continues apace.  As I start this bullet-point post, it's 35-6 San Francisco over Miami in the 3rd.
• Somebody's getting fined this week...

“The players have no idea”

New Orleans Saints player Julian Blackmon says on Instagram “bad day for the sportsbooks” as he hauls in a telegraphed on purpose Lamar Jackson interception. Of course which made it a great day for the books. They will all burn pic.twitter.com/WLvrBLoU3l

— Behold A Pale Horse (@BeholdPaleH0rse) September 20, 2026

Hmmm...  Methinks the players are often co-participants.

• Oh great...  DeRapist Rapist actually won one.  In a lightning storm where most sane NFL fans would ask if it could take both teams out, the Browns actually won one -- 23-20 over the Buccaneers in Tampa.
• Early in the day, several taunting calls got even a friend of Tom Grossi angry enough to rant over X, and got that trending.  And most of Football Nation America wants mouths to be allowed to be shot off.  You do realize, it's punches next...   

Allegedly... Does anyone still not want to believe Emmanuel Clase threw games outright?

Prosecutors filed in an Order of Particulars in Federal Court on Friday that, in their case of Emmanuel Clase spot-fixing, they have identified 18 particular pitches they intend to present to the jury as "spots" Clase meant to fix for spot-fixers in the Dominican Republic.

At least one of them was in a Cleveland Guardians playoff game (which, to be accurate, they won 7-0), according to ESPN.

Does ANYONE want to try to tell me that Clase didn't throw games outright, and has just done so in such a controlled manner that he's not been caught, even under investigation by both MLB and the Federal government?

Anybody?

2026 Week One Fine Blotter, The Saturday Report

Here's the page.  They're doing it a bit differently this year.  Instead of a week-to-week dropdown menu, they're listing them all on one page.  They usually do the full report around 4 Eastern.

And the new policy and the Points of Emphasis and the one-time amnesties at the end of the season are now in effect.

20 more fines this week, 22 total, three of them under the Points of Emphasis, three more are helmet fouls I think should fall under the PoE.

Conduct:

• Chicago:  Jahdae Walker, $5,620, Taunting
• Dallas:  Javontae Williams, $11,941, Taunting
• Seattle:  DeVon Witherspoon, $11,941, Taunting
• Washington:  Stefon Diggs, $14,926, other illegal celebration or vulgar act.  Jumped, straddled the goalpost support.

Late Hit:

• Dallas:  DeMarvion Overshown, $9,527
• Denver:  Alex Singleton, $11,941

Roughing the Passer:

• Carolina:  Derrick Brown, $17,911, a late hit.
• Green Bay:  Lukas Van Ness, $17,911, blow to the head
• Houston:  Mario Edwards, $8,263, blow to the knee or lower body
• LA Rams:  Tyler Davis, $6,225, blow to the head

Other non-Points of Emphasis:

• Dallas:  Donovan Ezelraku, $11,941, face mask
• Kansas City:  Trey Smith, $6,750, chop block
• San Francisco:  Jake Tonges, $9,266, leg whip (And a good reason for the rule -- Tonges injured himself with the leg whip -- OUT FOR THE SEASON.)
• Tennessee:  Calvin Ridley, $12,537, Striking, etc.

Actually, I stand corrected:  Rereading the policy, not all helmet fouls are actually strikes against the policy -- which I think is bullshit, they're the biggest fines many weeks (including the only two fines over 20 grand this week), and has been a Point of Emphasis in this league several years.  So while we straighten this out, here are the helmet fouls:

• LA Rams:  Nate Landman, $11,111, helmet foul
• San Francisco:  Kyle Juszczyk, $20,033, helmet foul
• Detroit:  Jahmyr Gibbs got the biggest fine of the week, $23,207 for a helmet foul

Which leaves these as the Points of Emphasis fouls, all of which constitute STRIKE ONE against the offenders for possible suspension and can only be half-amnestied if not repeated.  A second such fine in the season will result in a league meeting.  A third is a one-game suspension.  (Pending appeals)

• Buffalo:  Sam Frankin, $9,425, blindside block
• Green Bay:  Evan Williams, $7,027, defenseless player foul
• Miami:  Chris Johnson, $17,911, hip drop tackle

Officials Accountability:

• Of the 20 fines, only 11 were flagged.
• Of the 3 Player Safety Points of Emphasis fouls, only TWO were flagged.
• NONE of the three helmet fouls were flagged.
• The four of the six I think are within the policy which were not flagged:
• Gibbs' should stand. It was use of the helmet in the end zone after he scored. That should've been 15 for a late hit.
• No video on the Landman helmet foul.
• How the Hell did the refs miss the Kyle Juszczyk foul, sans rigging?  Clear leading with the helmet to block at the point of attack!
• No video, apparently, on the Johnson hip drop tackle either, and that was the one which was not flagged.

Early 2026 Week One Fine Blotter Part One: Two uniform violations...

We haven't had the normal Gameday Accountability situation yet -- that's tomorrow at about 1 Pacific.

But two eyeblack violations have hit the Internet.

• Arizona:  Kei'Trel Clark, $6,651 for a "Glory Be To God" message, which has enraged the MAGA crowd.  I again remind them to look up the rule.  ANYTHING not approved by the league is fined.
• Houston:  Azeez Al-Shaair, $11,492 for the name of "Hind Rajab", a Palestinian girl killed by Israeli forces.  Kyrie Irving of the NBA has offered to pay the fine.

Wow, that was a scripted production...

There was no doubt that the Bills were going to win the first game in their new stadium tonight.

The Lions more than made sure of that with a number of indisciplined penalties, effectively zero defense, and basically a full surrender job after a turnover at 34-24 in the fourth.

But they still scored another touchdown to make it 41-31, and make the Buffalo Bills the first team in NFL history to go 2-0, giving up over 30 points in both games.

Let me give you an idea of how thrown this was on the part of the Lions -- AND how much the NFL had to struggle not to completely lose it's Amazon audience.

• The Buffalo Bills got almost 300 yards of offense in their first four drives in the first half, all resultant in touchdowns.
• It's 27-7, third down, Buffalo's driving again about their 40 yard line.  Josh Allen scrambles and appears to have the first down if he keeps running.
• So he shovels the ball off to a receiver, who drops it because he didn't expect, fourth down, the game's first Buffalo punt.
• With 6 seconds left, Detroit decides to run the ball to confuse the Buffalo defense, and Buffalo gets called for tripping the ball carrier.  (Only thing that would've mattered was the distance -- there WAS one second left and Detroit had a time out.)  Bugger if we could see it on the replay.
• Field goal -- 27-10 at halftime.
• At that point, I call it during the halftime...

So let's see.

A "bad decision" for the first Buffalo stop, a phantom tripping call, and it's 27-10 at half.

27-17 incoming, and perhaps more?? #TNF #Rigged ???

— Michael Falkner (@MichaelFalpxmr) September 18, 2026

• Wouldn't you know it?  27-17 after about a six-minute drive.
• But then the Bills dogwalk the Detroit "defense" on an EIGHT-MINUTE drive for 34-17.
• Then Detroit decides people still need to be watching the game in the fourth quarter -- five-minute drive, 34-24.
• They get the stop...
• And then 3 and out, and that's the surrender.
• Touchdowns are traded for 41-31, the final.

And I guess we, at least for Sunday, have to go on Record Watch.

The 72 points tonight means the first 17 games in this NFL season have now scored 862 points.  An average of 50.71 points per game.

That is an NFL record for 17 games.  Remember that Week 1 tied the NFL record for most points in a Week 1 with 2002.  Only one game in that Week 2 beat the 71 -- and that was a 45-39 overtime game, also with Buffalo winning, this time over Minnesota.

OK, found it... The probable domestic violence angle to Monday Night's arranged Chiefs victory...

Jonathon Cooper of the Broncos pled not guilty just before the season started to a felony charge of strangulation and three misdemeanors.

The alleged altercation was in June, according to the Associated Press.

There's your answer, boys.

Cooper, like Jacobs, is on the Commissioner's List.

Time to amend my Dud of the Week List for Week 1.

Nope, we have a new winner.

And since I've already awarded the medals, this gets the DIAMOND MEDAL -- above gold.

And it deserves it too.

The winner?

The NFL itself!

For complete ignorance of the laws of this nation and the resultant abuse of the YouTube copyright system.

Why?

This.

This is what shitposter UrinatingTree had to do to get a Week 1 Sportsball commentary piece out this week, after a number of attempts yesterday ended in NFL copyright takedowns to refuse monetization of the video.

I tried everything I could to get this out tonight, but couldn't get it done. I'm sorry, guys. I think I have a solution that gets through, but I'm worried it'll be borderline unwatchable. https://t.co/dKMQO7fMfQ

— UrinatingTree (@UrinatingTree) September 17, 2026

Don't get me wrong.  I am certain UrinatingTree is getting targeted here.

After all, he's talked so much shit about the Steelers that, without even Tweeting them directly, they blocked him.

And before anyone questions it, here's the Fair Use Index from the US Copyright Office themselves.  Unless they want to declare all game content to be damaging to the monetary interests of the NFL, this qualifies under Fair Use.

The NFL does not want their games shitposted, even by someone as skilled as the Yinzer.

So what happens next?  Do the game streams of commentary from the likes of UrinatingTree and Tom Grossi get yoinked?  After all, the disclaimer on all the other sports is "pictures AND accounts"!

Assholes.

EDIT TO ADD, about a week later:  A few days later, I have to be fair here, the NFL rescinded it and the OG Cut, as Tree put it, was posted.  We'll see what happens THIS WEEK...

After Further Review, Jake The Awake, Week 1

I don't agree with a lot of his non-football stands, but Jake the Awake does a nice job of chronicling plays he believes show the "rig-aroni with a side of baloney" the NFL has.

Unlike me, Jake concentrates more on what he calls "slop plays" -- plays that show that the players are more like professional wrestlers and choreograph plays to ensure results.

(With one usual exception that I think we will see at least one of.  I'll get to that.)

So, here's Week One's Top 10 of Jake's Slop Plays.

And, already something to note:  Denver missed so many tackles Monday (28) that they gave up the most yards after missed tackles in eight years (247).  So, knowing Jake as I do, I have a feeling there will be more than one play from that game to back up the top of the video bullet point there.

This isn't even in his Top Ten, but the first part shows that two Broncos players basically pantomime tackling Patrick Mahomes on his touchdown run.

10)  Detroit-New Orleans. 14-0 Detroit, and they have the ball after a New Orleans turnover in the 3rd quarter.

Amon Ra-St. Brown appears to have a route that's going to take him through three New Orleans defenders.  First defender takes the other receiver, second one pratfalls, the safety never helps, St. Brown catches wide open for the score.  21-0.

9)  Dallas-Giants.  58 seconds to go in the half, 7-7.

Dak Prescott, per Jake, is the most-highlighted player in the history of his Slop Plays series, and it's interceptions, usually.  Scrambles backwards INTO pressure.  Throws an abject DUCK a mile into the air off his back foot, only player who can get it is the player who can pick it on the sideline for the Giants.

Stands to reason, doesn't it?  Prescott would have to be a coparticipant in a lot of this with how the league cannot feasibly afford the Cowboys to be representatives as champions.

8)  Packers-Vikings.  No, this is not the drive in which the Vikings were all but handed a score either through mass indiscipline or the refs. 25-22, 3rd and 17.

And the Vikings just jailbreak the shitty Packer O Line, which had the worst pass block rate in the league for Week 1 -- and not close!  Back-to-back sacks, back-to-back fumbles, and the Vikes get the ball to start the rout.

7) Packers-Vikings, next drive.   4 minutes to go, 32-22, and Jordan Love needs to make a comeback...

And he throws a pick that almost gets returned all the way -- three plays later, it's the Vikings' third touchdown of the quarter for the final score.  Even though he had three open receivers on the play, including one cutting at the other side of the field with NO ONE CLOSE.

6) And here we go with the exception, when Jake breaks out his singing voice.  "Return of the Mack" -- I mean, "Return of the Doink", a chronicle of all the videos of doinks, which Jake almost certainly correctly notes are magnet-assisted.

SF-Rams in Australia (if the ref is going to use the goal signal for a field goal from Aussie Rules, doesn't that mean this one is only worth one point if it had been made?), Arizona-Chargers (particularly flagrant one, looks like the kick is straight to the left and curves out to doink out the RIGHT SIDE), and I thought I heard at least one in the Monday nighter as well which was MADE...

5) Chicago-Carolina -- you almost could've seen this one coming for at least one play.  24-24 near halftime.

Caleb Williams escapes pressure and finds a seam in the pocket to start running.  No problems here.  And he's got one guy to beat...  Except the guy literally runs out the back of the end zone to take himself out of the play for the free touchdown, Williams' second on the ground in the first half.

4) Eagles-Commanders.  17-16, six minutes to go in the game.

Three guys give Dallas Goedert a cushion, and all of them can't be arsed to make the play.  42 yards later, Goedert gets his second TD of the game, and that basically IS the game for Philadelphia.

3) New England-Seattle, and it's the suspicious interception.

Off the back foot again, and the only guy who can get it is wearing Seahawks colors.  Game over, champs win, thanks for coming.

2) Chiefs-Broncos. 7-7. late second quarter.

Rashee Rice gets the ball and one player completely misses him, even though he is otherwise squared up on him.  He doesn't even remotely attempt to wrap up on him.

1) Chiefs-Broncos, no score...

Until at least two players don't even try to tackle Mahomes for the Chiefs first touchdown.