After Further Review: Jake the Awake Asshole Week Eight.

You know the drill.  I forecast any number of doinks, from what I was reading this week.

(Yeah, I'm behind.  I'll try to get the Score Report in tomorrow.)

Overlay:  New England-Miami, and if I had to guess from the comments, someone completely whiffs a sack on a fourth down to allow a conversion.  #3 for Miami is completely let go by his blocker for a blindside shot on Drake Maye.  Given it's inclusion here, I think you know what happens next.

Or what doesn't happen.

10) Indianapolis-Jacksonville.  Nine minutes to go in the second, 7-0 Jaguars.

Jonathan Taylor wants to be traded from this sinking ship in Indianapolis.  He completely (and somewhat intentionally) botches a reverse right into the face of his intended target, Jacksonville recovers.

Jacksonville scores 21 in the final nine minutes of the period, and the rout is on.

Side comment:  The slop play from that one Carolina Super Bowl where Cam Newton didn't put it on the line to get a fumble in a key situation is reminded.

9) Cincinnati-Tennessee  13-0 Tennessee, a minute and a half into the second quarter.

Not quite 100% sure this slip was intentional.  Burrow, seeing #90 of Tennessee coming through, decides to take the ball down and run, and Solomon Thomas gets his ankles metaphorically broken and falls flat on his face.

I'd also like to know which of the two Titan defenders you actually think could've made a play on that one, Jake.  Well-thrown ball, touchdown Jamarr Chase.

8) Same game.    Slightly earlier, 10-0 Tennessee at the time.

Joe Burrow, with a check-down receiver, decides to GO FOR IT ALL!!! instead.

There's only one prerequisite to going for it all.  There needs to be a receiver and not two defenders in the general area.  Interception.  One of three for Burrow, to go with five touchdowns.

7) Carolina-Green Bay.  Carolina's going for two down 27-19, five and a half minutes to play.

I actually get the logic Jake (and a number of others online last Thursday night) didn't get.  You get it, 7 wins.  You don't get it, you can get 8 the next time to tie.

The one thing you may need to talk about is that Bryce Young threw the ball right into two Packer defenders to bat out of play.

And wouldn't you know it...  I don't know what book or compilation Jake got the numbers, but over 46.5 got almost 60% of the money and 55% of the tickets.  27 + 19 = .....

6) Arizona-Dallas  3:18 to go in the first, no score.

Jacoby Brissett, about to head to Baltimore, throws a completion to the tight end...

... who all but LATERALS the ball to the Dallas defender!  Elijah Higgins, on the replay, couldn't have made it more obvious had he tried.  Jake spends two solid minutes showing the lateral.

Defender (Shemar James) gets to the 5, Dallas needs an end zone fumble recovery for the touchdown.

5) Same game, to win it at the regulation gun.  Arizona to win it from 33 yards out...

And Chad Ryland never gave it a chance.  No doink, no magnets, wide left the whole way.

Then the camera catches the head coach.  Dumbfounded for a second, then just smiles to the side.

Why?  Ryland would get the game-winner in overtime.

4) Tampa Bay-Atlanta, and Michael Penix gets his Penix slammed in the car door.  3-0 Tampa, first quarter.

Throws into double coverage short and deep, the short defender has to make a play on it at least, but does for the pick.

The tackle gets 15 tacked on, but Tampa fumbles at the 1.

Second play, same game, about two minutes later, Jake didn't read the play-by-play to see how Atlanta got the ball back.  And Penix slams his Penix in the car door again -- same guy (Alex Anzalone), TRIPLE COVERAGE THIS TIME.

This one gets a three and out, field goal for 6-0.

3) Cardinals-Cowboys for the third time.  17-3 Dallas, about a minute to go for the Cardinals...

And Tyler Allgeier makes about six Cowboys "miss" for a 61-yard score to cut it to 17-10.

Hey Scooter, wanna talk about it?

2) (Did he put the doinks at #1???)  Five minutes to go in the second quarter, Miami up 6-3.

Contender for most rigged play of the season, or so he says.  It's the overlaid play from Patriots-Dolphins.  And Chris Johnson basically fakes the blindside sack -- even though Drake Maye has not thrown the football yet (so no late-hit Roughing).

They get nothing from it -- the field goal was missed.

1) Yep, it's Doink Time.  And it gets #1 because Jake says he found SIX in Week Eight.  Making 24 for the year.

1.  13-7 Buffalo vs. Baltimore, 2nd quarter.  Tyler Loop (BAL) from 34, kicks it right at the upright.

2.  13-7 Buffalo vs. Baltimore, just about halftime.  Tyler Bass (BUF) from 51, looks like it's gonna go right, but whatever it was held the ball for the carom (doink) and good from 51 for 16-7 at the half.

3. 6-3 Green Bay vs. Carolina, first quarter extra point try for Trey Smack (GB).  Smacks the kick right into the right upright and misses it, a cause for significant consternation for Packer Fan all night.

4. 7-6 Minnesota vs. Detroit, opening drive, second half for the Lions.  Jake Bates (DET) from 46...  And this one you can tell from the ball turning from a spiral to a dead duck that it was going to doink and miss.

5. 19-10 Washington vs. Philadelphia, eight minute drive for the Eagles to go into the fourth quarter, and the ball lurches in the air on Jake Elliott (after he made one seconds earlier, nullified by penalty) to doink the top of the upright and seal Philadelphia's doom for that Monday night.

6. 3-3 Miami-New England.  And Zane Gonzalez (MIA) from 52.  Looks easy good for the first 20 yards or so, but then the manipulation takes over, the ball caroms off, and through for 6-3, and Jake's sarcastic applause.

Odds and Sods, Election Day 2026

I had hoped to do a more passionate situation than this, but I couldn't bring up the energy to do more than tell MAGA and their 2A allies to go fuck up a rope.

I will say, before getting to some other stuff -- with the probable situation that, by tonight, this will turn into a liveblog of sorts -- that I predict the Democrats will win the House by a fairly comfortable margin.

However, they will not win the Senate.  They'll get 51, but, at that point, Pennsylvania's John Fetterman stops pussy-footing around and jumps parties to have Vance be the relevant tiebreaker.

Anyway, on to more mundane matters:

• Spire Motorsports has parked Carson Hocevar for the final race of the season in Miami -- a probable prelude to the firing of 2026 NASCAR's most controversial driver.  Believed intentional brake-check of Austin Cindric did the trick.  The team did not wait for NASCAR's penalty.
• Which was $100,000 and 25 points.  Probably would've been a parking if the team didn't do it first.
• Tragedy in Spain.  A high-boot goalkeeper challenge has ended tragically, and with a manslaughter investigation.  Jesus de Migel Alameda, of Spanish second-tier CD Tenerife, died this morning from injuries suffered in a high-boot collision with the opposing goalkeeper.  Owono was sent off immediately for the challenge near midfield after Alameda had beaten the defense onside.
• CJ Gardner-Johnson has been FIRED from the Buffalo Bills for the spitting incident against the Raiders.  The day he came off suspension, they cut his ass.

2026 Week Eight NFC Political Rankings and Duds of the Week

And now to the NFC:

Kayfabe:

1) Minnesota (Conference record over)

2) San Francisco They play each other three weeks from yesterday, Sunday nighter. 

3) NY Giants

4) Carolina At 3-4.  

5) Chicago

6) Detroit

7) Green Bay All outright.   

Politicals:

1) San Francisco

Until someone shows me otherwise.

2) NY Giants

Same thing I said the last couple times I put them on this list -- it may be getting to the point that a New York team is angling for a push.

3) Minnesota

Pretty much for lack of anybody else.

4) Chicago

5) Detroit

Green Bay is a no for the additional Josh Jacobs situation, and they're the only other team in the conference above 4-4.  Chicago gets a slight political advantage for the move to Indiana, but Detroit is definitely creeping up on the outside, even if a number of calls appear to be against them.

Dud of the Week:

Whatever official allowed Christian Watson to throw a punch and get away with it right in his face.

And that's pretty much IT for non-medalists...

So, now the NFL-wide medalists for Week Eight (will include some posted in the AFC post earlier):

BRONZE MEDAL:  The Los Angeles Chargers

For 0-7 and God only knows when they might win one.  At least Miami already has!

SILVER MEDAL:  The Atlanta Falcons

OK, explain this to me.

First, you go to Lambeau and completely molly-whop the Packers 34-14 in the home opener.

And then, this week, you lose 16-0 to Tampa Bay.

Not only that, but you become the first team in 52 years to lose to a team who didn't complete a pass the entire game.  A feat only accomplished three other times in the history of the league.

GOLD MEDAL:  The Kansas City Chiefs

For complete tone-deafness with Justin Tucker -- and then you're surprised when the refs catch you close on a supposed game-winning touchdown!

GOLD MEDAL, NBA VERSION:  The Indiana Pacers

Who ought to trigger a league investigation for this one.

They have 17 players on their roster.

9 injuries, 1 rest, 1 illness -- they played with six, the fewest number in any game this early in the season in almost 80 years.

And yet, Atlanta only beat the six-man Pacers by four points.

It was the first time in 22 years the Pacers had been reduced to six.  That last time?  The day after the Malice in the Palace.

After Further Review: And of course Chiefs Fan has to bitch!

24-20 down against Denver, last play of regulation at the two-yard-line to beat Denver and put a chokehold on the AFC West and probably the AFC as a whole, outside of Buffalo.

Then a touchdown to win it at the gun.

Except for this problem...

Wrong Call?: The #Chiefs just got cheated out of the game. Calling this a false start on 77 how? #Broncos get a favor call at home https://t.co/hbIbLh6oiq

— FirstDownMedia (@FirstDownMediaa) November 2, 2026

How? More because of the fact that Mahomes snapped the ball before #77 could feasibly reset from looking over. Under normal conditions, looking over is not a false start -- but if the snap comes basically instantaneous or while he's looking over, that looking over will be seen as simulating the snap.

Hence, that IS a false start!!!

Mahomes is sacked on the next play and Denver wins and takes the division lead and the HTH tiebreaker over the Chiefs, for the moment.

Perhaps if the Chiefs hadn't signed Justin Tucker this week, they get that call.  Just...  saying...

EDIT TO ADD MONDAY MORNING:  And we find the definitive angle which shows what they called -- a clear false start.

@BurlyboyRig No they called it for false starting https://t.co/tplD8aczK9

— Crystal Ghost (@Crystal_Ghost_) November 2, 2026

2026 AFC Week Eight Political Rankings

Well, let's see what we can come up with.  With NFC games both Sunday and Monday, the AFC is done and we can look at it.

Kayfabe:

1) Buffalo

2) Denver (Conference Record over)

3) Pittsburgh They are the Black Friday game this year.  

4) Jacksonville

5) Kansas City (Conference Record over)

6) Cincinnati And they play December 13.  

7) New England

Political Rankings:

1) Buffalo

Well, it's clear now even if the game in Denver hadn't happened.  But this solidifies it, and probably now by a distance.  Lamar is probably out for the season, and the Chiefs probably just fucked it with the Justin Tucker signing.  If not, today was a warning.  But Buffalo now has the inside track, with the pimped man for MVP of the league...  Looking pretty good if you're Bills Nation.

2) Denver, by a hair over

3) Pittsburgh

Yes, the Steeler Bullshit is Real.  Especially as they bitch-slapped the Browns today.  (Which see Dud of the Week for the AFC below)

That said, I'm still more convinced right now, politically, on Denver.

THAT said, Aaron Rodgers' final year is awfully tempting to Donald Trump, et. al., so we'll have to see as the year goes on.

4) New England

As long as New England is within spitting distance, "Patriots are Champions" is always a possibility.  But why 13-3 against the Miami Tanks before turning it on in the second half?

5) Jacksonville

Even if the AFC South is a "by default" operation at this point, you at least have to mention them.

6) Kansas City

That's if today was simply a warning shot, if not something more.

DUD OF THE WEEK NOMINEES:  (Awards will be in the NFC post after the Monday nighter, and some of these will probably be in there.)

Kansas City Chiefs:  Read.  The Room.

You've seen what happens to Green Bay, and what's probably going to happen to them next week with the new Josh Jacobs allegations.

And you sign...  Justin Tucker??  I get that MAGA Boy isn't cutting it at the kicker position, but there are other options with far better optics if the league is still pushing you!

(And see next post:  That WAS a false start.)

The Cleveland Browns in general...:  I mean, I get it with the inconsistency, but the DeShaun Watson Redemption Tour has to do better than a complete egg-laying against the Steelers today.

... and Jared Verse in particular.:  You shoot your mouth off, you better back it up.  Otherwise, you eat turf, and a 27-6 loss!  I do believe the play was flagged AND the player will get fined for it.  A fine he will gladly pay.   

The Los Angeles Chargers, the frontrunners in Tank Bowl:  0-7, the last winless team in the league after Miami somehow got one.  Ran into a Chargers fan this morning in the store, him buying a bunch of Michelada.  All I could tell him is that he probably was going to have to drink quite a lot today.  He had no objections.

Indianapolis:  If there's a team now second-worst in the AFC, it's probably these guys.  How many more pieces get sold off at the deadline?

After Further Review (College): Remember, the referees work for the conferences...

I want you to draw attention specifically to the second onside attempt.

Offside was called on both such attempts, both recovered by North Carolina.

And the first one WAS...

But the second...

🚨🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨🚨 NORTH CAROLINA RECOVERED BACK-TO-BACK ONSIDE KICKS AGAINST MIAMI AND BOTH WERE WIPED OUT BY LATE PENALTY FLAGS FROM THE REFS. TWO STRAIGHT RECOVERIES. TWO EXTREMELY QUESTIONABLE CALLS. THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST RIDICULOUS THINGS YOU WILL EVER SEE. THE ACC REFS 😳😳😳 VIDEO OF BOTH PLAYS: https://t.co/4bswl2jY4K

— MLFootball (@MLFootball) November 1, 2026

It is at this point and time I am now starting to require to state that the referees for the regular season conference games work for the conferences. Hence, if it is to the advantage of the conference to rig a game, there's a nonzero chance they will!

And with Miami #1 in the nation heading to the first CFP polling this week, I'd say it's to the ACC's advantage.

And, of course, the coach of North Carolina would know this better than anyone... BILL BELICHECK!

And here's another one from the same game.  Yes, North Carolina eventually got the TD anyway, but see if you can tell me where the holding on #75 on North Carolina actually was.  I'll wait here...

ONE OF THE WORST CALLS YOU WILL EVER SEE: UNC scored an easy touchdown, but the referees called a BOGUS holding penalty to wipe it off the board. The broadcast was stunned. The officials continue to make controversial calls favoring Miami. THIS IS RIDICULOUS: https://t.co/aX0CakbC38

— MLFootball (@MLFootball) November 1, 2026

2026 Week Seven NFL Fine Blotter

So here we go for Week Seven.

Let's first take care of some off business:

Uniform violation:

• Bears:  Caleb Williams:  Ongoing issues with the league, unapproved brand of cleats again, that one costs his $23,882 and might get him a pregame visit from the refs Monday in Week 8.  He might well get told to change his cleats to an approved brand or be ejected until he does!  And there's more to this story:  Williams claims the Caddix cleats are actually safer for him, and the company will gladly pay all fines as the situation continues -- and it appears it will Monday night!

Officials Commentary:

• Packers:  Xavier McKinney:  Didn't disclose whether it was $25,000 or more, but he was fined at least that and said it was worth every penny.  Given what the Packers saw on the Thursday nighter, he might well have been right.

And now, to the weekly report:

Unsportsmanlike Conduct:

• Green Bay:  Brandon Cisse, $9,459, taunting
• LA Rams:  Blake Corum, $8,733, violent gesture
• New Orleans:  Chris Rumph, $11,111, taunting
• Pittsburgh:  Darnell Washington, $14,926, illegal celebration

And we now bleed into the Facemask penalties with a double:

• Arizona: Trey McBride, $11,941 for each of a taunting
• Arizona: Trey McBride, and a facemask.  That makes him a THREE-TIME LOSER.

Helmet Fouls:

• New York Giants:  Cam Skattebo.  He was only fined $7,073 for his helmet foul from last week, so I must assume the other helmet foul was appealed off.
• Chicago:  Clark Phillips, $11,550.
• Denver:  Brandon Jones, $23,882
• Denver:  Alex Singleton, $47,762, making him a FOUR-TIME LOSER this season.  A late hit, a defenseless player strike, and two helmet fouls.
• Detroit:  Brian Branch, $23,882 -- this was one of the number of players Packer Fan was referring to from the Sunday nighter.
• Indianapolis:  Cam Taylor-Britt, $7,791.  TWO-TIME LOSER.
• Pittsburgh:  Brandon Smith, $4,918
• San Francisco:  Jordan James, $6,194

Roughing the Passer:

• Dallas:  LT Overton, $6,013, head/neck.
• New England:  Gabe Jacas, $8,744, late.

Late Hit:

• Detroit:  Derrick Barnes, $11,941
• Houston:  Ja'Marcus Ingram, $6,361

Tripping:

• Indianapolis:  Spencer Shrader, $7,639, on the opening kickoff.

Striking, etc.

• Las Vegas:  Tommy Eichenberg, $6,441  Had a preseason fine for a similar offense appealed off.  Or this one would've been double.
• Philadelphia:  Jalen Carter, $12,537
• And look who's back:  San Francisco:  Dre Greenlaw, $12,537  That makes him a THREE-TIME LOSER, with a suspension as well.

And now, the Points of Emphasis fouls:

• Cleveland:  Daniel Thomas, $7,541, blindside block.  His first strike.
• Dallas:  Shemar James, $6,171, defenseless player foul.  His first strike.
• Houston:  MJ Stewart, $11,667, hip-drop tackle.  His first strike.
• Las Vegas:  Treydan Stukes, $12,725, horse-collar tackle.  His first strike.
• Seattle:  Uchenna Nwosu, $17,911, horse-collar tackle.  His first strike.

26 this week on the blotter.  Five Points of Emphasis fines.