I guess it would be six games after the Cowboys game Sunday night, but the NFL has announced the removal next week of Josh Jacobs from the Commissioner's List, even though the investigation continues.
So is Johnathon Cooper, for his two DV arrests.
Friday, October 16, 2026
I see too many of these stories every day, and I'm beginning to wonder if youth should have organized sports...
I am legitimately seeing stories about every day now about football teams being shut down across the country and all that.
But I have two three stories from today that make me wonder if youth should have organized sports. And the first one is a throwback to a previous story I did -- I believe way back at the beginnings of this blog!
Youth football game degenerates into a parent fight after. We hear this story from time to time, and it's not that uncommon, sadly.
But then you remember that Florida youth football often involves gang-fueled betting on the game.
And this time, the Sheriff actually had his office right next to the field!
He's threatening to send undercover cops to future games. They better be armed -- Florida youth football has THAT reputation, and I don't think even Johnny Law is going to be immune from the effects.
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Of course, you could be Penn Wood High School in Pennsylvania -- all activities suspended during an investigation to an unnamed incident which has prompted not only a special investigator, but a student walkout at the punishment.
Apparently, according to a number of people, it's another hazing incident.
One game has already been forfeited, and I would be surprised (especially when a fight broke out during the walkout -- unrelated) that the other two probably are going with it.
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And here's one I saw later that places a bunch of things in conflict.
Desert Ridge's football season is basically over. And it's basically the coach stating he's the ultimate boss, at ANY cost.
Late in a game, Gunner Brewer had a play called for himself by the coach. Brewer, probably seeing something at the line, audibles the play to a running play, and the running back gets a first down, Desert Ridge wins.
And you'd THINK this wouldn't cause a problem. AT BEST, the coach might pull Brewer aside and say that it was a good call, but, if you do that again, you better be right.
Nope.
Not only did head coach Miles Smith throw him off the team, he banned him from being around anyone else on the team.
And THEN Smith threw 12 more players off the team when they decided to stand up for him.
This also after Smith FIRED the offensive coordinator during the season.
It's clear that the coach wants to clean house. The team went 0-10 last year. They won two games last year, but lost 49-7 and 50-0 since. And in the former game, Brewer violated the coach's directive and showed up. Media had to be banned from the stadium last night.
I get the real sense that we're looking at a Coach Deion situation here. Wipe the slate clean, and force the issue -- either get some better football players or end the tackle football program.
Well, we have our answer... The Dodgers have gone MAGA...
I was wondering what got the Dodgers out of the commissioner's doghouse and into what appeared to be Most Favored Nation status before last night's elimination.
We have our answers: Some of the most MAGA-level entitled twats around.
And I'm not talking just the players, who pal around with Trump every chance they can get.
And I'm not talking just former players like NBC analyst Clayton Kershaw, who decided to go all homophobic for "Christian Pride Night" and against the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.
And I'm not talking just former players like Dodger announcer Orel Hersheiser, who used his microphone to go all transphobic and proclaim the old MAGA canard about men in women's sports.
I'm not just talking the ownership group -- at least one major owner of which donates to MAGA causes whenever he gets the chance.
But these FANS... Give them a title or two and they start sounding like Boston and Yankee and Cub fans.
They are somehow CONVINCED that the Brewers cheated, Trashtros style.
Milwaukee won the season series, 4-3. Including 2-1 at Dodger Stadium.
Now the fans are spawning all sorts of shit, basically talking about the Brewers dooming themselves (remember, they were also in LAST YEAR'S NLCS against the Dodgers!) or this and that and the other.
Why do you think Urinating Tree celebrated last night with (as one of at least three Tweets) the "World Peace" scene from The Simpsons?
But yep, you're MAGA and entitled. Gee, what a concept.
2026 Week Five Discipline Blotter Suspension Appeals
- Dre Greenlaw has LOST his suspension appeal -- he sits this week.
- Alaric Jackson has WON a partial appeal -- his two-game suspension has been reduced to one.
Wednesday, October 14, 2026
It is long past time to throw in the towel on some schools having football.
Not only on safety, but, also, what I call "uneducational results".
The latest example comes from Oregon.
And, frankly, this result should've been reversed on the way out.
Marist Catholic High School's head coach decided the other team, since they only had 16 kids on the team, had no right to soil the field with their presence.
In just 24 minutes, Marist Catholic scored nine touchdowns, and kicked two onside kicks just to put the nose in it.
The opponents walked at halftime.
Wait... I said the head coach of Marist Catholic?
Try FORMER head coach of Marist Catholic. For that stunt, he's been FIRED!!!
Tuesday, October 13, 2026
After Further Review: 2026 Jake The Awake Asshole Week Five
So let's see what he did with one of the most... interesting... weeks in the history of the league. Both with the refs and with the slop.
Right to the defender at the 40.
Pre-lay: Los Angeles Chargers vs. Denver, running play with apparent slop. We'll see what he comes up with on that... later.
10) Jacksonville-Philadelphia in London. No score, 1st quarter, about five and a half minutes to go and Jacksonville at about midfield.
Eagles defender tries to trip the Jacksonville pass catcher, whiffs, and it's all Yards After Catch for Parker Washington for the first score.
9) Vikings-Saints. 7-6 New Orleans, Vikings in the red zone about three minutes into the second quarter.
And we're zoomed in on trips left, and especially on Justin Jefferson, who facemasks the Saints defender rather violently, uses that to get off the block, but then that defender and two other Saints key in on Jefferson. It's triple coverage in the end zone. One defender jumps too early, takes out the other defender in front -- clearing the way, and Jefferson scores the six.
8) Dallas and Tampa Thursday Night. Knew this game was going to make the list. 24-16 Bucs, nearing the end...
And I knew this play was going to make the list. Prescott, right into the hands of the tight end. Who then pops it right into the air and a Buccaneer comes in for the pick. Saw that play Thursday night, and knew it was going to make the list.
I know, often, his numbering doesn't make sense, but this one ended the game. So it really should be #2 to the one in Washington. (Which I already know is on the list -- he said so on Sunday. Hint: I demanded it be #1, and it was.)
7) Seattle-San Francisco, and this WASN'T the Refball. Ball's at midfield, 3rd and 10 for the Seahawks.
Right in the hands, right out of the hands. The old saying "If you get it in your hands, you have to catch it..." That is, unless San Francisco is supposed to win the game.
6) Return of the Doink Time. Three this week for 11 for the season. Jake reiterates his case for the magnetic balls and goalposts. And he's right -- doinks used to be quite rare. Now: 11 in 5 weeks?
1. Miami-Cincinnati. Looks like an extra point. 45 seconds to go in the game, Dolphins down seven, 31-24.
Ball looks like it's going to split the uprights, but is sent to the left side, off the left upright, no good.
2. Raiders-Patriots 14-7 Pats inside the two-minute warning of the first half, and we have a Gay field goal attempt from 49.
Boinks off the left upright (a bit more natural of a flight than that MIA-CIN one), New England gets the ball and yardage, scores another touchdown before halftime, off to the races.
3. Cleveland and the Jets. Looks like another extra point. 6:15 to go in the fourth, and Cleveland has just scored to take a 12-10 lead...
Only to have the extra point, with no wind, head right to the right upright, bonk off, and you can figure out the rest.
5) Atlanta-Baltimore Sunday night. It's overtime, and Michael Penix is on the bench. And that means it's Tua Time!!! Baltimore has just scored a touchdown, Atlanta must now too.
And he throws it blatantly to a covered receiver where the pick is insanely easy. Game over. That will make at least three DIRECT end-of-game slop situations this week. And there may be more.
4) Back to Seahawks-49ers, and a Seahawks defender tries again to go low on a ball carrier and completely whiffs it. 23-21 Seattle, five minutes to go in the third.
But Deebo Samuel then fumbles the ball, loses possession to the Seahawks, and gets injured on the play to boot! (Which Jake declares the injury scripted too.)
3) Chargers-Broncos, and I think this was the overlaid play. 10-10, one minute left, 3rd quarter.
Charges through a pile of players. At least 5 Broncos whiff the tackle (on top of Vidal just waltzing through the pile of bodies), touchdown Kimani Vidal.
2) Same game, and it's another apparent Justin (S)Herbert scripted interception. 20-17 Denver, about 3 minutes to go in the game, and here it comes...
Right to the defender at the 40.
1) You know it. I called it and demanded it. The either thrown or criminal last play of Commanders-Giants for the draw.
It hurts his soul to include it -- that's what he said!
He doesn't even want the play on the list! He said that too!
The most disappointing play (to him) that can ever be the #1 play... What... Is Jake the Awake Asshole a Commanders fan?!?!?!??
And the defenders, as he says, saying "The Commanders just being the Commanders."
No. FUCKING NO.
That was a DESIGNED QUARTERBACK ROLLOUT. That was the only play they were going to run there!
You cannot be that fucking stupid.
"So this just proves: NFL fanboys are literally some of the dumbest, stupidest, most gullible, naive fools in the entire world."
"... a foolish boneheaded mistake..."
You're Fired, You're Fired, You're Suspended: Odds and Sods, October 13
- Max Caster was a professional wrestler whose main gimmick was rapping and mouthing off and getting close to the line. After the first several years of AEW, he was finally signed to TNA.
- He lasted one night. His rap that night concerned the attacks on Riyadh -- and since TNA is now a WWE-adjacent company, given WWE's ties to the Saudis... He's been fired.
- Harrison Mevis has been fired from the LA Rams for miscues leading to their 2-3 record after last night.
- And more bad news for the Bears: Montez Sweat, banned two games for the performance-enhancing drugs policy. No, he's probably not ON the stuff. It's probably that he tested positive for a masking agent.
- And LATE WORD, sources say to Adam Schefter: Alaric Jackson of the Rams has been banned two games himself! That punch he threw at the postgame last night will cost him the next two! This will cost him another about $543,000, according to Spotrac. And it's the second two-game suspension he's received, receiving a Personal Conduct two-gamer offseason 2024 for filming a woman without her consent. The 2025 lawsuit from that incident, however, was dismissed.
- AND he still might face a misdemeanor domestic violence charge on a 2026 arrest, which might cost him another six! Well, if there's any further need to question why the Rams are being depushed, here you go!
- Tyreek Hill's NFL career is definitely over now. Even though it was a mixed verdict, his wife was awarded $500,000 when Hill was found liable for two batteries of her. At barest of minimum, he probably faces at least a year suspension if not longer, because they're two separate incidents. A number of other claims were denied, as well as her request for punitive damages.
- I think it might be time for us to force these satire accounts off X. I basically got caught on one and then had to pull it back -- a story on a 13-year-old seeking $15M a year in NIL from college from the time he enters the 10th grade. However, the best satire is that which actually has a breath of truth.
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