Yep, Monday night had a big one. Not big enough to crack the top three, but to add a mention to it...
DISHONORABLE MENTIONS:
Drake Maye. Look, you may be early in your third year and all, but you are the defending AFC champions and would otherwise have some political pull ("Patriots Are Champions" and all...). 23/33 isn't bad -- three picks, including a suspiciously-underthrown ball at the end to hand the game to Seattle for the Champs' Opener is another thing.
The Carolina defense, or whatever that was which approximated it. The good news: The league got a game in the 90's this week. (According to Wikipedia, it tied for the 12th highest scoring game in the history of the league at 96 -- 59-37.) The bad news for Carolina is Chicago hung nearly 60 on them.
Pro Football Reference and Stathead. Who now charge $9 a month for what I used to be able to do for free. I'd like to try to find the last defense who literally got 60 hung of them, but it's now $9 a month to do so!
That one was unplanned, but the rant stands.
HONORABLE MENTION to Statmuse, who apparently has it. 59 points ties for the 23rd most points in the history of the league by one team. The last team to get 60 or more was, shockingly, the Las Vegas Raiders, who hung 63 on the LA Chargers on a Thursday night squash December 14, 2023 -- just three months after Miami hung 70 on Denver!
Back to the DISHONORABLE MENTIONS:
The Tennessee Titans. If this turns out to be a shock year for the Jets, this may be retroactively removed. But no one has confused the Jets for any degree of a football team in quite a while. So you lay a non-competitive 23-10 egg at home to the JETS????
Added Monday Night: The Denver Broncos. Look, I know there was a lot of help -- including that Mr. Travis Kelce was shown in her skybox with Tom Cruise seven times in the game. That said, you could've deigned to show up, right???
And now, the medalists:
THE BRONZE MEDAL (again, pending tonight): The two apparent front-runners in the annual UrinatingTree Tank Bowl for the #1 Draft Pick: The Cleveland Browns and the Miami Dolphins.
You could've deigned to show up. Either of you.
And I think the bigger indictment might be on the Browns, because they are money-stuck on DeRapist Rapist, even though it's clear that motherfucker doesn't have any business in the NFL at all -- on the field or off the field considerations. But yesterday's decision-making may expose that Prime Time's kid has even less!
And, without Tua now, the Dolphins might have no one anyone is going to care about. So that's two candidates right there for Arch Manning's services if the rigging and pimping of the Manning kid continues at Texas.
THE SILVER MEDAL: Matt LaFleur in general.
If the games were any bit of legitimate, LaFleur would be fired this morning as the coach of the Green Bay Packers.
Why?
- 22 in the fourth and 29 unanswered yesterday for the Vikings to blow out the Pack in the opener.
- 25 in the fourth to go from 20-6 up to a 31-27 loss in Chicago in last year's playoffs.
- 14 unanswered in the fourth to lose to Baltimore in Week 17.
- 16 unanswered in the fourth and overtime to go from 16-6 up to lose 22-16 in the second regular-season meeting to Chicago.
The Packers have now lost six in a row. The last four of the regular season last year, the playoff game, and the opener this year. That list is just fourth quarters in that losing streak.
The NFL rigs its games so that you win them in the fourth quarter -- often with ridiculous comebacks.
If there were any legitimacy to the contests at all, it's long past time for LaFleur to go.
However, it isn't. And, as a result, in part...
THE GOLD MEDAL, THE DUD OF THE WEEK: The next two major names on the NFL Discipline Blotter, probably: Puka Nacua and Josh Jacobs.
You don't think the league is sending a message here in both of these cases.
Puka Nacua, after torpedoing last season with his mouth against the league, is in a civil lawsuit against a woman who claims Nacua threw an antisemitic slur (apparently not his first that month, according to Wikipedia!) and bit her last New Year's Eve. He went into rehab in the offseason.
In the Australia game, a Rams superteam favored to go to and win the Super Bowl was blown to bits by the San Francisco 49ers 27-7 in a game not nearly THAT close.
And now superteam acquisition Myles Garrett is going under the knife for a knee and will miss at least four weeks.
And then Josh Jacobs, the star running back of the Packers, who pled no contest to misdemeanor charges stemming from a May arrest. And you saw above what happened to the Packers, after another supposed fourth-quarter collapse...
... with many Packer fans bitching about the calls. If I can find video, I'll get back to you on that. But I have six words for you Packer fans:
Dez Caught It and Ezekiel Elliott.
Get used to it. The Pack won't even go .500 this year.
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