2026 Week Two Political Stock Up And Down

Again, too early to tell -- though I think we're getting an impression from that ring you showed off Sunday night, Mrs. Kelce!

Stock up, no particular order:

AFC:

Buffalo:  Yeah, rigged as fuck, but that was a solid win over Detroit.

Cincinnati:  Don't look now, Cincy is 2-0.  Can't say either of the teams they beat look THAT good, but they're doing the work.

Kansas City:  Duh.

NFC:

Minnesota:  Gotta give em credit for the win over Chicago, even if the no-TD game is WTF...

Seattle

The NFC West:  Six wins between the four teams.

Holding off:

San Francisco:  Still not sure where the Rams are going to be this year yet with the whole Puka Nacua thing (incident AND injury), so don't know how their 2-0 looks yet.

Las Vegas:  Yeah, yeah, they're 2-0 and have New Orleans this week.  Reality hits NEXT WEEK when Kansas City comes to town.

Stock Down:

AFC:

Pittsburgh:  What the Hell was that?  The High End Talent made sure the Bullshit was NOT real, and that got messy fast!

New York Jets:  How did you let THAT ONE get away?

NFC:

Chicago:  Proving the whole Week One track meet was fraudulent.

DUD OF THE WEEK AWARD:

Nominees:

The Miami Division II Football Team.  I do wonder if the Hurricanes could beat you fuckers right now.  Those first two weeks have been DISGRACEFUL.  And Week Three doesn't get any easier:  Here comes Kansas City.

Atlanta.  What.  The Fuck.  Was THAT?  You better hope you don't slam your Penix in the car door Thursday night in Lambeau.

The LA Chargers.  We thought you were supposed to be at least outside players for the playoffs -- and you lose to the Cardinals AND the Raiders, by identical 26-14 scores?

Tampa Bay.  How do you lose to DeRapist Rapist and CLEVELAND?  I guess the only thing which could be worse is if Shedeur was the quarterback.

Quarterback injuries.  At least three major ones this week took a lot of the steam out of games, including the Monday nighter.

Bronze medal:  The AFC South.  Jacksonville's win over Cleveland is the only win the entire division has through two weeks.

Silver medal:  NBC in general, Cris Collingsworth in particular.  So you start with a Chiefs rim-job piece before the game, Collingsworth can't get off Mahomes' dick, and you just HAD TO have Taylor showing off the ring after her husband's touchdown.  Yeah, this is going to be a legitimate game.

(And yes, that one call in the overtime aside, because the league was going, instead, for the LAST...  POSSIBLE...  SECOND... angle with Mahomes and the Chiefs.)

Gold medal:  Keenan Allen, the other probable catalyst for Sunday night.  So you get charged for your DUI formally during the season, and you expect the league not to take immediate action -- at barest minimum, to ensure a result against your team...