Well, I Guess The Coast Is Clear, So Here's My Super Farce XLIX Prediction -- s ...

I probably would've broken my record for posts in a month if the NFL hadn't told these Cheats and Thugs to settle it down for a while...

But, now that it looks as if the coast is clear, I'm going to make my prediction.

And I'm going to add a few more on the day in general.

--

I picked Seattle to win at the beginning of the season (and picked New England in the AFC as well) for one very particular reason -- this is the direction the NFL wishes to go...

A bunch of cheating thugs who basically hop around like they are meth-laced inner-city gangbangers at about age 12.

And, until the last 13 days or so, I stood behind that prediction, especially due to the fact that it was clear that a league-ordered lay-down on the part of the Green Bay Packers was the only way to recover the SeaHags to get them into Cheat Bowl XLIX.

And when New England walked all over Indianapolis for it's sixth Super Bowl in the Belichick Era, I kinda felt they'd be the Good Guys.

--

Less than six hours later, DeflateGate hits, the league dawdles, and all feasible discussion on the game grinds to a summary halt!!

You now have a situation that, according to SportsNation, through Brian Tuohy's (non-)prediction (he's only predicting record-breaking TV numbers -- he's making no call on the result!) (and please enjoy the porn stars making fools of themselves again) that, out of a million votes, the Seahawks actually have more people cheering for them by a statistically-significant margin.

In fact, the only states cheering for the Pats are New England states and NFC strongholds like Arizona, Louisiana, Michigan, Minnesota, and Wisconsin.

This game could really go either way, as Brian notes.

You get Seattle, and they get a dynasty for their fans of Football Over All, the hopped-up nature of play and mouth they have purported, and the Rise of the NFL Bully will no longer be deniable.

You get New England, and, yes, you'll get DeflateGate and the Associate Commissioner, but New England gets to go on that Mount Rushmore they probably were destined to do since Spygate.

So, at the end of the game, who is the league going to want to win.

Well, I know this, I might very well be wrong here.

I mean, look at Seattle a second:

• Thug players
• Dirty players
• A philosophy of dirty play
• Rampant drug use
• Corrupt coach
• Big mouths
• Fans who value the NFL more than everyone else's life
• As a friend of mine said, the NFL (with Robert Kraft) getting it's hand caught in the cookie jar AGAIN
• Could Russell Wilson's comment about God guiding the Green Bay game be indicative of another Tim Tebow-mania?

Now look at New England

• A friend with benefits
• Corrupt coach -- just not as open as Carroll
• All-American
• White boy Q-Rating quarterback who is believed drug-free
• If they lose, they'll be the first team to lose five Super Bowls
• The league owns the players, and Marshawn Lynch won't knuckle under that.
• Boston fan base -- need I say more?

It's basically, if you take everything on balance and remove any personal matters from the scale (fan of a rival, etc.), almost a toss-up.

So, in making the call, I finally looked at that this year, more than any, has been a "circle the wagons" year for the owners, and the players aren't liking a lot of what the owners are wanting to do.

--

So here are a number of predictions, many of which could well go wrong.  On Sunday:

• We will have a major incident.  One or more of the predictions below may qualify, but I do believe we will have a major incident at this Super Bowl to disgrace this league and this football nation -- something both most richly deserve.
• We will have the first Super Bowl ejection.
• We will have a major fight at some point in the game.  It won't matter who starts it.
• Katy Perry will show a lot of skin.
• I won't mind that.  Katy may be a kayfabe ditz, but she's hot.
• The Concerned Mommies of America will mind.
• They'll also mind about Marshawn Lynch after he goes off...
• A major no-call will decide a Super Bowl in which the team which gets away with more will win...

And I predict that team will be the Patriots, because their time is running out (insert propaganda reason here -- whether that propaganda is from the NFL itself, the media, or the US Government), Marshawn Lynch will not behave and Robert Kraft is an inside friend of the family (in a year where the owners are circling wagons against the players and everybody else, etc.

Please...  Katy, somebody...  Make fools out of this league.

Super Farce XLIX, The Insanity!! Two ticket stories...

Two stories that are demonstrating how nuts things are getting for the Super Bowl, and they both involve tickets.

A poster to Democratic Underground posted two very interesting facts from the present Ticketmaster Ticket exchange site.

Section 29, Row 18 -- I assume this is ONE ticket for SIXTY-EIGHT THOUSAND PLUS.

Two cheap seats?  Only set you back a surfboard each...  $9,000 each.

(Let's see who outside of my anonymous friend gets THAT reference.  :) )

Of course, there's another reason things have gone apeshit.

A number of ticket brokers and resellers tried to do something stupid and got CAUGHT.

I can't say, back in the day, I wouldn't have considered it for, say, Magic cards or something like that.

But to "short sell" tickets -- basically, you put tickets on the market you do not have, you then get the money, and use IT to buy tickets on the secondary market.

Works... Unless it's Super Farce XLIX and ticket prices on said secondary market are the worst in history!!!

Several hundred fans, as a result, are NOT GOING.

Super Farce XLIX, The Cheats: It's Not What They Tell You, It's What They Don't Tell You

Well, the NFL tried to deflate DeflateGate, at least for the Super Bowl itself, by explaining how the footballs for the game will be dealt with.

After the Cheats and Thugs won their games, Wilson (the company who makes the footballs) ships each team 54 game balls for them to work with during the practices, which the quarterbacks can, within the normal league parameters, tweak.

That's all fine.

Then, yesterday, the balls were taken to the equipment manager of the Chicago Bears (selected by the league, again normal policy, for this purpose), who inspects the 108 balls, throws out any obvious problems, and sends the rest of the balls to NFL Security, who locks them up.

Today, sports authenticators will stamp the balls under the watchful eye of NFL Security in a locked room, where the balls will be kept until game day, and they won't be in the stadium until about three hours before the game.  (The balls are auctioned off by the NFL.)

This is all, basically, Standard Operating Procedure.

What they WON'T tell us is where the balls will be and under whose custody during the game.

Why do I say this, and why is that question important?

Because the needles needed for this process are so small, they can be palmed and hidden, and not even the cameras might be able to pick them up, if the person using them knows what they are doing.

I had a friend of mine show me one of those needles, and how easily they can be palmed.

So, until I know who and what has the balls during the game, I can't ensure that, similar to possible other games, that the ballboy for the Cheats would go "One-Mississippi, Two-Mississippi..." with his hand over one ball, and then go to the next.

Yeah, he'd have 54 to do instead of the smaller number, but...

"This is not Detroit, man!  This is the Super Bowl!!" -- Paul Allen

Super Farce 2015, The Commissioner: Lies, Lies, Lies Yeah! (Part 3)

Round 3!  From Deadspin's report of today's NFL Propaganda Address.

23)  "We are in a good place in knowing and learning and being more human."

No.  You can't do that.

Not in a football nation where kids get the idea, from God knows where, to force sexual acts on lesser players toward senior players to dehumanize them and turn them into the monsters and machines we all glorify on Sundays.

Not in a football nation where entire communities are controlled by football to the extent that victims are run out of town (if not outright killed -- and I'm shocked we haven't heard one from, say, Happy Valley, Pedophilia or Stubenville, Ohio or Rapeis, Florida...) to protect the sanctity and control of the community by said football team.

You want to become more human?  You have to rid football of football to get it done.

24) "We have done a great deal to bring more awareness to these issues of domestic violence and sexual assault."

Only if, by this, you mean that you've done a great deal to expose football players as many of the greatest perpetrators, yeah.

Otherwise, a complete lie.

Again, your hypocrisy will be shown on that subject, too, at the Draft.  Just saying, bitch.

The only thing you have done is opened the door to places like Deadspin, Grantland, and Bill Simmons to show you are a lying sack of shit in that regard.

25)  "We as the NFL want to make this an important issue where we can make a difference in society in general."

Start by shutting down the damn game, then.

The game, not only as a social construct, but as a function of the criminals involved and the injuries inflicted (even on men who would not otherwise be criminals), cannot exist where you actually would make such a difference.

Sexual Assault, Domestic Violence, and Child Abuse (in various forms):  Together, THEY Make Football...

26)  "I think we have people that have uncompromising integrity." 

27)  "Their integrity is impeccable."

You can't make this shit up.  

You really can't.

The next thing you'll tell me is that Pete Rozelle was a man of uncompromising integrity by not allowing NFL players to pursue free agency (before he lost that one in the courts)...

And see #16...

28)  "We have done an excellent job of bringing outside consultants in."

See #17!

29)  "I communicate with our players on a regular basis."

And have almost-universally earned their disdain!

I'm not even sure we can call it "communication".

30)  "No one has more respect for the players." 

31)  "Their well-being and future are important to me."

BULL FUCKING SHIT.

Dave Duerson.  Junior Seau (whose family might have to wait for his enshrinement until the CTE hubbub dies down!).  How about Jim McMahon, Richard Dent, and many of the 1985 Super Bowl Champion Bears -- who were profiled this month by Bryant Gumbel on HBO's Real Sports?

And there are HUNDREDS I'm not mentioning.

(The best I can give you is these two clips HBO provided.  To see the entire 15 minutes, even on the Internet, requires an HBO subscription.)

32)  "We want to make the game as safe as possible for them and make sure we do everything to make sure while they are here and when they transition out of football we are helping them be successful."

To do that, you can't have these brain-damaged criminals in the league in the first place!

And, on top of everything else I've discussed in these posts, Roger, you'd need to address a very important societal problem, you idiot:

The MOMENT these guys slip out of the uniform of "my team", in the opinion of most Americans, they literally become that cog that they "give him a watch, kick him in the butt, and tell him a computer took his place.  That's hard times!!"

So you ...  are...  LYING.

You don't have enough money in your coffers to run a professional sports league and take even enough necessary care of those men still living and mangled because of this sport and this league!!

33)  "We will work with the players association." 

34) "We are not going to compromise the NFL."

You will lose, and BY DESIGN, to the NFLPA on a lot of these issues, and, hence, you will not compromise the NFL as the bastion for rapists, abusers, bullies, murderers, and God knows what else..

Oh, and they all have to be good, upstanding straight men too...  That guy from Arizona State (Edward "Chip" Sarafin) is going to get blackballed even faster than Michael Sam, and I know it, you motherfucker. 

35)  "The character that comes from playing a team sport like football is extraordinary."

See #16, for at least the third time.  

Skipping a couple mundane ones to wrap this up...
 
40)  "I do understand the passion for the fans in Las Vegas."

Las Vegas actually has locals who are NFL fans?  

41)  "I love Ralph Wilson Stadium."

Geez.
  
42) "We want to make sure our fans are protected."

Stop allowing alcohol consumption.  Tone down the presentation.

Oh, you won't do that?  Fuck you.

43) "We want the truth, Mark."

44)  "Enjoy the weekend."

Don't worry.  I won't.

Super Farce XLIX, The Commissioner: Lies, Lies, Lies Yeah! (Part 2)

Some more of the 44 lies Deadspin's Drew Magary noted about today's State of the NFL speech:

12)  "We have the best partners bitches in media."

There.  Fixed that one for you.

You have shills you keep in line, not partners.

Ask Rolling Stone on that one.

13)  "We have an enormous responsibility to lead every day by example."

That's not a lie.

The lie is that you feel you do it.

If you did, you'd force these players to account for on and off-the-field misdeeds and encourage communities across the nation to do the same...

... crippling the product at all levels.  Yeah, fucking, right.

14)  "It is what our fans deserve. We are humbled by and grateful for their passion."

More their fealty!

I've seen lives be subjugated to FANTASY football teams.  I've seen people have to suck up their own sadness just to serve their "friends'" football addictions, refuse to do so, and watch those friends get every fucking benefit in the book for doing so...

On top of that, are you grateful for this?

or this??

... for which a fan in the first clip may have ended up PARALYZED...

Or how about this viral gem, if we don't even want to get to fights...

And note, Roger Goodell, much of this destruction was BEFORE the Cowboys failed on 4th down!

THAT is what you are humbled by?

15) "We know we must earn the trust of our fans every day."

No, what you know and operate with the assumption of is that the average intelligence of the NFL fan is about that of the generic fruit fly.

Kumquat?

16) "We have great people working for the NFL."

Ray Rice.

Adrian Peterson.

Hey, the Aaron Hernandez murder trial is finally starting!  (The jury is allowed to watch the Super Bowl, but must leave the collective room if Hernandez is mentioned.  Hernandez is not allowed.)

How about the 49ers security guy who's also the first responder to help Ray McDonald cover up his first 2014 incident?

How about you yourself, you fucking piece of shit, Mr. Goodell?

How about Jerry Jones, committing Federal bribery offenses in his dealings with Chris Christie, the governor of New Jersey??

How about the personnel people of all 32 NFL teams, denying the Defensive Player of the Year in the best conference in the land an NFL opportunity because he doesn't have a trophy wife who's a woman...

That's just seven examples.

If those are "great people", then you probably need me jailed or eliminated, because I must be insane.

17) "We are also, as we demonstrated with Ted Wells, not afraid to go outside and get outside perspective that can be valuable to us."

Oh, like the "independent review" of the handling of the Ray Rice case, by former FBI head Robert Mueller - a man with significant NFL ties!

The same Ted Wells, by the way, who helped try to get Richie Incognito (NFL "Good Guy" of the Dolphins, by the way, in 2012 with Reggie Bush) back in good graces of the league by helping to cover for him and the Dolphins, rather than put that piece of shit in prison where he belongs!  (Wells headed the investigation into bullying by the Dolphins, that which ran Jonathan Martin off the Dolphins.  Martin, unlike Incognito, however, played in 2014, playing 15 games and starting 9 for the 49ers.)

18) "We want all of our franchises to stay in their current markets."

You are out of your fucking mind if you think that's going to work.

I wouldn't even be so sure, given your corporate bent, if your eventual goal would be to wrench the Packers out of Green Bay and get them in a larger, more corporate-friendly environment.

19)  "It has been a tough year on me personally.

20)  "It has been a year of humility and learning."

21) "We have all done a lot of soul searching."

You have a soul?  That takes out #21.

Humility is a sign of weakness in the National Manhood League.  There goes #20.

#19 might well be true, but that's probably more due to the fact that you have been called out for the slimy, corporate piece of shit you are, Roger.

22) "We have made enormous progress."

I think we're going to find out to what end, and we're not going to like it.

You really don't get the kind of criminal monsters you have up and down the league and up and down the sport of football.

You're going to tell me you made enormous progress on the likes of domestic violence, and, within four months, you will shake the hand of, as all but the #1 Draft Pick to Tampa Bay, an open rapist who all but got his victim bullied and almost killed by the police and the like where he was BMOC in Tallahassee.

And that's just one example of HUNDREDS.

Super Farce XLIX, The Commissioner: Lies, Lies, Lies, Yeah! (Part 1?)

And here we go.

Roger Goodell's State of the NFL propaganda fest speech was today, the Friday before the Super Bowl.

And, as expected, the motherfucker lied through his teeth on almost everything he said.

Predictably, Deadspin picked it up, and found that Herr Goodell lied at least FORTY-FOUR TIMES in the speech, according to Drew Magary.

So, time permitting, here's at least a small selection, and some comments...

1) "It has been a season of amazing competition, challenges and real progress."

Even if you don't discuss the lies regarding Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson, et. al. for the "challenges" part (and don't get me started on "progess" -- see my previous comments on the No More ad and how farcical that lie is), the NFL was well on pace that, by mid-November, there was speculation that blowouts were becoming the new NFL normal.

From my year-end score report:

• Games within one score at some point in the 4th quarter:  2013:  68%  2014:  62.89%
• Games decided within one score:  2013:  48%  2014: 41.79%
• Games decided by a score in the last two minutes or overtime:  2013:  21.875%  2014:  15.625%

2) "The NFL is made up of good and caring people."

You won't be saying that once the courts or arbitrators nullify all conduct policies.

Football, especially CTE-laced football, is not made up of good and caring people.

It is made up of out-of-control monsters, created and cultivated and nurtured by the system which allows them to be what they are, many of them on drugs.

And it's not just them or the corrupt owners or administration:  The fans can hardly be seen as "good and caring people" when domestic violence has a statistically-significant increase in NFL cities where they lose that week -- with another such increase when the game is an upset.

"This is a bad game, where bad men do bad things to bad men."

This is what Goodell will say when the truth is allowed to come out.

3)  "We are doing more to protect our players from unnecessary risks."

This is where you learn the reality of the Goodell WWNFL and the masses who swear to it.

This league and most of it's fans see the very life and death as "necessary risks" that the players knew about when they started football as children.

Which see all the complaints about "pussification of America" and all the homophobic slurs which come with it.

YOU CANNOT "PROTECT PLAYERS FROM UNNECESSARY RISKS" WITHOUT COMPLETELY ALTERING OR ELIMINATING THE SPORT OF FOOTBALL AND MANY OF THE INHUMAN MONSTERS WHO PLAY IT.

PERIOD.

The sport of football is like NASCAR on steroids -- except, in NASCAR, in most sane cases, the crashes people watch for, people want to see the drivers get out of.

This is NOT the case in 2014 WWNFL.  Next lie, Goodell!!!

4) "Concussions were down 25%."

According to WHOM...

The team doctors whose first loyalties are to the team to get the player out there, at any and all cost?

What scares many ex-NFL fans I talk to is, with how many former players of the 80's, etc. are coming and saying they have CTE, etc., how many of today's players in the Bigger, Faster, Stronger WWNFL are going to be feeling it too.

You want to tell that statistic to the likes of Jimmy Clausen and Tony Jefferson and Terrelle Pryor and the like?

5) "The quality of the game continues to improve."

You can't even competently referee the games.

How do you expect the quality of play to improve?

Oh, to that end...

6) "Last year, technology improved officiating."

No, it only did exactly what I feared it would -- allowed you to have greater control over meaningful results.  

And you STILL have to give one of the teams in a championship game the direct memo to lay down so you get Cheats vs. Thugs...

And let's not get into how technology allowed you not to call pass interference on the Cowboys in that one game...  Technology helped you make the right call to save their asses.

Right?  Right.

7)  "The possibility of expanding the playoffs has been a topic the last couple of years. There are positives to it."

That's more a matter of perspective than a lie, per se.

Obviously it's more money for the owners and more injuries and headshots for the players.

Since we know the NFL is already demanding the College Football Playoff find another night than a Monday for it's championship, I think it's clear that, as soon as that gets cleared up, we're heading for a 16-team playoff or something.

8) "We are continuing our work to uphold the highest standards of responsible conduct so that we represent our fans and communities in a way that will make them proud."

9) "The new personal conduct policy emphasizes ongoing education, prevention, support services and raises the standards for all of us in the NFL. Most importantly, it is clearly more effective."

Two of the biggest lies in the speech.

First, you designed the new personal conduct policy to be struck down.  You basically admit, face up, that a football player, by being a meaningful football player, is a protected rapist/robber/violent criminal/etc., and you can't systematically ensure that domestic violence and worse are adequately punished without going outside the Constitutional boundaries of a legal definition of "innocent until proven guilty".

In no uncertain terms, if we had an actual due process on a lot of football players (and this is grade-school and up!!!), the sport itself has to go on trial eventually.  (Which see Lie #4, or would you like to talk to the families of the late Nancy and Daniel Benoit?)

This new personal conduct policy never makes it.  The players win their grievance, as you desire, so you can tell me to go fuck off like the little ... I am, right Roger?
 
Second, you're going to use that to, within a year or two, strike down all the on-field safety initiatives, because most of these angry behemoths (even golden boys like Clay Matthews!!) can't abide by them.

For even an ounce of #8 to be true, you'd have to hold an FBI-level investigation of every current and prospective player, and I think you know in your heart, Mr. Goodell, that very few would actually pass if the truth were allowed to come to light.

For #9 to be true, you'd have to nullify the concept that everyone around the NFL knows -- that the next wife you hear about domestically abused by her husband in the NFL will probably have died as a result of the offense. 

10) "On the issue of footballs used in the AFC Championship game, Ted Wells and our staff have been hard at work conducting a thorough and objective investigation."

That investigation should've been finished by about 6 PM Monday.  NOT Monday January 26.  Monday, January 19.

You KNEW those footballs were illegal at fucking HALFTIME!  

That is a forfeiture offense under your own fucking rules, Mr. Goodell, and the on-field statistical truth about the Patriots coming out is the reason why!

Noticed something on NFL Live today at lunch, by the way:  Over 400 rushing plays for the Patriots this year -- ZERO fumbles.

(Brady had six fumbles -- probably recorded as sacks or something.  Wide receivers had 7, and a fullback with only three carries and six receptions had one.  Source:  Pro Football Reference.)

The graphic with that statistic, though, was quickly removed from the screen.

WHY?  So you could basically cover up WHY the Patriots don't fumble the football?

Especially in cold weather, a slightly-deflated ball actually not only becomes easier to catch and throw, but also to HOLD ON TO.

I can figure this out.  I'm not a professional!

11) "We are excited about the success of Thursday Night Football." 

26-6.  56-14.  45-14.  42-10.  

Then you get two close ones.

35-21.  28-10.  24-3.  22-9.

Then Chiefs-Raiders is close.

41-28.  12-6 (close, but an insomnia cure)

Then another close one to wrap the Thursday schedule.

If you're excited about THAT track record, Roger.  You're not only a liar, but DELUSIONAL!!

Part 2 forthcoming.

 

Your Undisputed 2014-15 NFL Champion is...

(Please note:  This is NOT my Super Bowl prediction.  That comes within the next 44 hours or so.)

ESPN reported something interesting today on the side of all the Roger Goodell lying...

Sports bettors lost more money in 2014 than in any year previous!

The Nevada Gaming Control board reported that $3.9 billion of legal handle was taken on sporting events in 2014.

Of this, $227,040,000 was directly taken in by the books, won by the house.

Both are records.

To give perspective, on a normal bet, the book looks to take 50-50 action on both sides.

And, for the purposes of discussion, I will take the standard 10-11 bet as a baseline.  Yes, there are parlays and the like.

So the book would, on normal, take in about 9.09% of every losing bet, and, with the bets assumed 50-50, it would be about 4.545% of the entire handle.

$3.9B * 4.545% = $177,255,000

Meaning, the books won, on balance, to the tune of about another $50,000,000.

And where would that probably have happened?

FOOTBALL!

The NGC reported that the books won $113,730,000 off of about 55-60% of their total stake.

That winnings number by the books was a FORTY PERCENT INCREASE over last year -- about $45 million.

(Both baseball and basketball were actually down in winnings to the casinos.  Yes, the casinos took in profits, but less than years before.)

Why?

Look at the numbers:

• Scoring down a point and a half a game this year.
• Last seven weeks were a full field goal-plus a game lower than last year's season total.
• Last seven weeks of the year, the over was an average of about 6-10, meaning the under hit on about 54% of the games.
• Favorites were slightly under .500 this year -- about 2 games worth.  The reason this is significant is because of the juice.  You need to win 11 games for every 10 you lose to break even.  You'd need about a .524 winning percentage to break even in Vegas.   This year was .493.

So, the undisupted 2014-15 NFL champion is...

The NFL itself and Las Vegas!

The Power of the NFL: Not even Rolling Stone Can Go Against It

Brian Tuohy posited the following to a number of media and other types inundating his Twitter with some of the lies from Goodell's speech (and that post - and it may be multiple posts, if one list of them is proven full and correct -- is forthcoming!) with the following challenge:

Hey all you whining sportswriters filling my feed with your anti-Goodellisms, why not actually investigate his lies & expose this league?

— Brian Tuohy(@TheFixIsInTuohy) January 30, 2015

Well, according to Deadspin, we might have another moment not unakin to the Bill Polian fiasco from September, as the Big Finger of Zot has ordered silence against someone daring to speak against the NFL again...

Rolling Stone is often known for inquisitive journalism, and not just about music.

So it's mysterious when Jeb Lund posts the following on his Twitter after the Goodell lie-fest...

Whew, that was a fun press conference! Anyway, football is inexorably devouring itself behind a desperate illusion. http://t.co/gv98UvdEoG

— Jeb Lund (@Mobute) January 30, 2015

Only to find the post either already or soon-after deleted as of 3 PM or so this afternoon.

Lund has moved it over to his personal blog, according to Deadspin, so let's see what he said:

He begins with a challenge to the 100,000,000 or so who swear fealty to all this:

Here's a horrifying game you can play during this Sunday's Super Bowl and the nearly 12 hours of pre- and postgame content: count the number of times you hear some variation of "deflated balls" and compare that to the number of times during Super Bowls XLV or XLVII you heard the phrases "two-time accused rapist" or "accused co-conspirator in a double murder." Or just compare "deflated balls" to "brain damage." Then see if the first number dwarfs a combination of the last three by an order of magnitude. It will.

The NFL loves accused rapists, brain damage, murder, etc.

To much of the male power elite in this country (in and outside of sports), this is Man Code. This is what it means to be a Real Man, so you can get what is just shown to the rest of us, taunting and implying that we aren't worthy of it.

For all the talk of harsh gridiron realities, the NFL hasn't been in the reality business for a while. Reality is its enemy, and the Super Bowl—the largest spectacle of the game—is paradoxically its most vulnerable creation. It is an event ballooned so large that the slightest puncture threatens to send it deflating into a long, suffocating series of fatal escaping farts.

Hence, this is why this year's Super Bowl is the most caustic event in American sports history. That demand for reality would run counter to everything that is (falsely) taught, and, if that reality were ever to be taught, you'd be so right-wing with the concepts of legitimate rape, killing the "lesser persons", etc., you'd make Romney look sane!

And yet, that's the NFL: The National Freefall League, The No... League (just ask ESPN how they did a nice job blackballing Michael Sam!), The No Fun League, Not For Long, etc.

The article goes on to state that, by the end of the six-hour preview, you will know the average ticket cost (and have it drilled that You Aren't Important (read: Rich) Enough For Our Country!!"), 30-second commercial cost (read: cost to keep the game close, last year excepted, into the fourth quarter), etc.

Or this detail on how NBC was already carrying water for the league earlier in these playoffs, as if to prepare them for portraying Sunday's farce as real:

"On raw audio, you could hear play-by-play man Al Michaels going over prepared comments about Goodell and his handling of the Rice domestic violence issue and the fatuous report by Robert Mueller. Following Michaels, color commentator Cris Collinsworth stated, "The decision initially to suspend Ray Rice for two games was a mistake, and the commissioner admitted that. But I never once in all my dealings with the commissioner doubted his integrity." He sounded like he was staring at a picture of a hooded man holding up a copy of that day's newspaper and a revolver to his son's head."

And then the blogger takes it to a much larger point:

In the macro sense, though, the air-sucking sound escaping from Goodell World started with the revelation that, on every down, every player on the line is pulverizing another bit of his brain and that, not only did the NFL deny knowledge of Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy, they actively sought to undermine it. The fundamental tragedy of the NFL—the fact that by merely working properly on every play, it risks destroying people—is one cast down from the game itself to send the real world shuddering. That the NFL's hermetic environment could only think to suppress the story while attempt to divert attention with "safe tackling" protocols and big fines for telegenic tackles only reified the severity of the problem and the psychotic clown show overseeing it.

People who watch and believe and swear fealty to the NFL WANT PEOPLE TO DIE ON THE FIELD.

It's really that simple. The only question is what gets "fed" to the people who watch this stuff. Is it simply the presentation, or is there something more there?

But you cannot take a look at the violence committed by fans (in the stands, in the parking lots, in homes and to wives and children across this nation) in the name of football and especially the NFL and not come to the conclusion that we've gone simply beyond "watching for the crashes" -- if "my player" hits another player hard, we "OOH! and "Aah!"...

And then we damned well hope the other guy DOESN'T GET UP.

That's the crux of Football Nation America. It's OUR house, and you can't come here -- and you're going to get crippled (or worse!!!) if you attempt to do so.

Read this article -- before the Goodell Commission can get to it as well! It's a good read.

Super Farce XLIX: Loopholes, Obfuscations, and How To Win an NFL Championship

The hits just keep on coming.

(And I haven't got yet to the State of the NFL ridiculousness.  This one, I saw last night.)

You want to know how to win a Super Bowl in the Roger Goodell NFL?

You cheat.

Period.

Let's start with the Seahawks. ESPN reported yesterday that the best friend of the Seahawks as far as at least the games are concerned is that the Seahawks exploit loopholes in the rulebook to get away with stuff.

Anyone who watched last year's Super Farce might start with the rules for unsportsmanlike conduct, but that's not what I'm referring to, necessarily.

In David Fleming's Flem File, Fleming states what really is obvious about if Seattle were to win the game on Sunday:

"Focused on 24 PSIs of missing hot air and hype in New England, we've all missed an actual rules revolution going on in Seattle that, with one more win on Sunday in Arizona, could fundamentally change the NFL -- forever."

One of the major concerns I had about the Seahawks this year is that the league was going to "have their back" with respect to penalties.

In fact, the Seahawks, this year, were the most penalized team in the league. (144)

And the Patriots were second with 133!

The Seahawks opponents were penalized only 80 times this season, almost a penalty a game lower than the second-least team in that regard. (The Jets with 91, according to www.nflpenalties.com .)

And this after, last year, the Seahawks became the first team in Super Bowl history to win with double-digit penalties.

Last year, Seattle was #1 with 152, 20 more than #2 -- and that was DENVER!

Seattle was 4th two years ago -- 3rd was San Francisco. #1? Baltimore!

2nd in 2011 to Oakland, 8th in 2010.

So not only has Carroll's Seahawks had top-4 stats in penalties every year he's been coach except the first one, the last two Super Bowls have now had the top two most penalized teams in the league for the year (and the one before it, #1 and #3!), according to that listing.

A long-time NFL official told Fleming that the loophole Seattle was exploiting was simple: You can't throw a flag on every freaking play, or the game grounds to a halt!

Put bluntly, Seattle is cheating so hardcore that they have to get away with a number of the fouls or they'd probably be getting 15-25 flags a game.

As one example, Fleming points out Seattle was only flagged for pass interference seven times in the entire season.

But this, combined with the continuing saga of New England and eligible receivers (over the top of DeflateGate), is turning this league into a bigger farce than usual.

The NFL confirmed Thursday that a touchdown catch by a lineman in the rout over Indianapolis was also illegal for New England breaking the rules regarding eligible and ineligible linemen.

Dean Blandino (again!) noted that the Patriots' touchdown by lineman Nate Solder was illegal.

This was because another offensive lineman had reported as eligible the play before, and then stayed in the game as an ineligible lineman the next play.

This is illegal in the NFL -- the rules require that, for an eligible off-number lineman to go ineligible again and back to normal position, he has to sit a play first!

Dear God, do these refs know half of what they are doing?

If press conferences this week are any indication, the answer to that question is (if you believe the games to be legit -- har har!) a resounding NO.

The New England exploits have become so bad and so pervasive in these playoffs that the referees have stated they will have to use a new set of hand-signals to note to the defense who is eligible and who is not.

According to Pete Carroll, the officials will now show an eligible receiver of that type by pointing to him with two hands.

An ineligible receiver will get a form of the "incomplete pass" declaration with hands down around the knees.

Too bad it does not appear that even the refs know what they are doing.

As a result, it looks as if the team who is able to get away with more cheating will win this game.

Wow. Eighty-two.

What in the blazes was THAT, Tiger Woods?

As of right this moment, and there is only one golfer who might go "lower" than him, the 13-over Tiger has shot for the two rounds in Phoenix would place him...

LAST.

EDIT 3:45 PDT: Michael Hopper is that player, and he's had a birdie since the original post to go to +12. There is also Camilo Vilegas, who is +5 on the first 11 holes and +10 for the tournament. As of right now, Tiger Woods is OUTRIGHT LAST.

EDIT 5:55 PDT:  Play is suspended.  Hopper is back to +12 after going back to +13 for a time.  If he pars 17 and 18 (whenever he plays them), Tiger Woods will finish last in this tournament.

Super Farce XLIX, The Thugs: Oh, and Lookie. It's the Bane of the Seahawks.

DRUG TESTING!

ESPN reported today that the Seahawks are miffed at HGH testing.

Oh, gee, I wonder why...

Could it be that you jump around like a lot of imbalanced 12 year-old inner-city gangbangers?

Earl Thomas was tested for HGH this morning, and he didn't like it.

Yesterday I said my shoulder was a 10 ... Wake up the next morning and I have a blood test for HGH .. League office distraction
— Earl Thomas (@Earl_Thomas) January 29, 2015

He said the NFL was treating them like criminals.

(Side comment:  That's because most of you are.  The problem being:  So is the NFL itself!!!)

I mean, Earl:  Without PED's and HGH, your Legion of Boom is a Legion of...  Tap???

Pete Carroll is a dirty scumbag, and drugs have always been in the equation with this motherfucker.

Stop it.

Please.

Be fortunate you aren't ALL tested, because the league certainly has more than Probable Cause (if we want to go the "criminals" angle) to do so!!!

It's Good To Have An External Bullshit Detector. Roger Goodell, YOU NEED ONE NOW!!!

My anonymous friend sometimes also acts as an external bullshit detector, and caught this one.

Roger Goodell, you threatened to fine Marshawn Lynch FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS for not talking to the media.

OK, you want to claim ownership of your little slaves, right?

So, explain to me $500,000 in the face of:

• Open cheating by one of the participants, where, if the Commissioner had balls, he'd investigate quickly enough to disqualify them.  Now, we find out there will be interviews on DeflateGate til after the Super Bowl.
• Doing everything in your power to keep dirty thugs like Ndamokung Suh on the field (and, to an increasing extent, even golden boys like Clay Matthews, who's racking up a bit of a history of his own!!!).
• Total fines for Ndamokung Suh:  $444,294.
• According to Spotrac, I would have to go back probably to Week 15 to total $500,000, and a lot of that was abuse of officials or uniform violations.

I mean, I get it, Football Nation America wants blood spilled all over the fucking field.

Maybe you DON'T HAVE TO GIVE IT TO THEM?

$500,000 because he doesn't like the media, and yet people are taking each other's heads off all the time and you can't be bothered?

No wonder your league and it's fandom are out of fucking control!!!

ESPN: Get Off That Nag and Get On a Real Horse!

We're not clear as to whether Tiger got booed on the 16th today, and, yes, he was +5 at one point in his round...

But, ESPN:

Tiger "salvages" a 73?  At one of the easiest scoring courses on Tour???

And you won't even bother to tell me that Ryan Palmer shot a 64 to have a one-shot lead.

ESPN:

Tiger, barring his head getting straight and him getting healthy, is DONE.

And if that means so is your coverage of golf, G...  T...  F...  O.

Super Farce XLIX: Oh. Fuck. Me. NBC going WAY over the top....

I may still only do the last couple of hours, but the running joke has been that the Super Bowl pregame is becoming about a day-long affair.

NBC didn't have to take this freaking literally.

NBC will begin their official pre-game at NOON EASTERN.

Kickoff is somewhere between about 6:25 and 6:40!

Why America Deserves This Super Bowl, Part MMMDCXXVIII

Another non-football post, but I'll spin it toward why I really want there to be a catastrophic incident on Sunday that makes Janet and Justin look like two six year-olds.

Dateline, South Dakota.

57 children from a Native American school are treated to a local team's minor-league hockey game.

They are inundated with racial slurs from a bunch of a jackasses in a skybox, who then proceed to intentionally spill/pour beer on the group and force the children and their chaperones from the arena!!

On Tuesday, the school board filed a police complaint with the Rapid City, SD police, and, today, at least one suspect in the crime appears to be identified.

YOUR FUCKING AMERICAN SPORTS CULTURE.  RIGHT HERE!!

And you wonder why some of us sane people think you are getting the Super Bowl you deserve...

Deadspin Deadspins Again...

... and doesn't realize it may have made a much bigger statement than the one they thought they made.

In the spirit of the racy Carl's Jr. commercial and the pulled GoDaddy one for this year's Super Bowl, Deadspin decided to take the joke and remove all remaining pretense.

So, this morning, they published THEIR "Super Bowl Commercial", and couldn't understand for the life of them how 25 seconds of hardcore man-on-top porn would not be airable...

Of course, much of this is a joke, and, yes, Deadspin did mark this as clearly Not Safe For Work.

The thing is, Deadspin, you actually made a very important point when you probably didn't intend to.

And, for that, I would like to make an announcement.

I will be watching Super Farce XLIX -- with a notebook in hand at my local sports bar.

If there's an incident, I will write it down and cover it.

I do, however, also intend to look at the last hour or two before the game and chronicle whether there is such an imbalance as there was last year between which team gets covered.

Another thing I plan to look at is the commercials -- not only to see if the league tries to allow some homophobic anti-abortion anti-Michael Sam piece of shit to get a plum spot, but also...

I recall the first time I began to hear this in the media, in which an uncomfortable parent (and, at some point, this even included ESPN's Mike Greenberg) to have to explain to the parent's child(ren) just what Viagra, Cialis, and Erectile Dysfunction actually are!

In a season of spousal abuse, child abuse (and if me yelling at that No More ad during the game doesn't get me thrown out of the place, I either walked out to the bathroom or I didn't do enough of it!  What a fucking farce that is!!), etc. and so forth and so on...

Without realizing it, Deadspin, you just gave the NFL's position (go ahead and giggle at the word choice) on women when you did that parody commercial.

And Roger Goodell doesn't give a damn.

That's what's going to make eviscerating tomorrow's State of the NFL Address so priceless.

I can't wait, you lying motherfucker.  Tell us how many lies there are for the State of the NFL...

A non-NFL post!!! Tiger, Phoenix isn't fooled, and you're done too.

An incident from yesterday's Waste Management Open practice rounds indicates that the Arizona crowds at the (usually-)rowdy 16th figured out what was going on pretty quickly.

And Tiger Woods responded in kind, as only the curmudgeon can.

So Tiger is practicing the amphitheatre par-3 and puts his tee shot into the bunker.

As he comes to the green, he is booed.

Many of the sports media try to cover it up as Tiger being booed for putting his shot into the bunker, but most people understood pretty quickly why signs went up a couple weeks before the event banning the practices which allowed the 16th to become the Rowdiest Hole in Golf.

No throwing stuff into the crowd.

The caddie races went away a couple years ago.

Why?  Tournament needed Tiger back to be relevant.

So, what do Tiger do for the crowd?

More, what did he do TO the crowd???

He skulled the shot out of the bunker, intentionally sending his ball INTO the crowd -- and I'm not so sure that wasn't a message to said crowd!

Well...

What I predicted was probably going to happen is about to happen.  Sounds to me like Tiger can take a side trip to the Super Bowl this weekend.

His chipping failed him pretty good on Thursday.

+2 73 on one of the easiest courses to score on the tour.  Tied for 104th and headed to be cut tomorrow.

Now, Phoenix just needs to stick it to the motherfucker on Saturday after he does, and rescind those signs.

Super Farce XLIX, The Cheats: Physics, Statistics, and Why This Whole Patriot Run Might Be a Farce

I used to be a statistician in high school, so numbers fascinate me.

This Deflate-Gate thing might just have invalidated the rest of the "War on Terror" Patriots' 6 AFC titles.

We know, basically, the Patriots were cheating in probably the three wins.

Now the two losses and this year's AFC title game are in question too, and it's not just easier throwing and catching of the football.

According to Yahoo! Sports, statisticians, since the beginning of the Deflate-Gate saga, started looking at another statistic and realized that there is a real statistically-significant possibility that the Patriots have been illegally deflating or otherwise modifying the game balls they play with since the teams have been allowed to provide and use their own game balls in 2007.

The statistic the studies have pointed to is the statistic on how rarely the Patriots fumble the football.

The NFL average, according to Greg Matthews of Loyola University of Chicago, of fumbles is that, on average, a team will fumble once every 100 carries.

2007-2014, the New England Patriots averaged 0.63 fumbles per 100 carries.

To give a perspective, that means, in the number of carries an average team fumbles 3 times, the Patriots fumble only 1.89.

Again, the league began to allow teams to use their own balls in 2007.

Tom Brady, before this date, averaged almost 10 fumbles a season in that span.  He's almost halved that down to 5.28 for the last seven.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM....

The Patriots will now have been in three Super Bowls in that span.

The Patriots went 16-0 and 19-1 the first season of the change.

The Patriots have made the playoffs every year in that stretch save ONE.  And that year, they went 11-5 and lost on tiebreakers.

This whole thing is a farce. 

In eight years since they started this, the Patriots have only lost 28 regular season games.

I think we're beginning to find out why.

Super Farce XLIX, The Thugs: Marshawn Lynch is Becoming a MAJOR Distraction

... and, knowing him, he's going to get the last word on Sunday -- just not sure if it's going to be during the game.

It is becoming rapidly apparent that Marshawn Lynch is becoming the DeflateGate of the Seattle Seahawks -- in that he's becoming a rather large-scale distraction.

Yeah, he came out to the press conference on Tuesday, and told the press 25 times he was only there not to get fined.

Now, we get word the NFL was about to ding him a HALF A MILLION DOLLARS.  (And they still might fine him for his hat from Tuesday.)

That is the MAXIMUM fine which can be given under any realistic circumstance, but that they've had to go here indicates that one has to wonder how much under Goodell's skin he's gotten.

I am coming to the conclusion that the following two things will not both happen:

1) The Seattle Seahawks win Super Bowl XLIX.
2) Marshawn Lynch will be a Seahawk next year.

There is significant talk that Lynch might not be back, and, at the rate things are going, one has to wonder if getting Lynch under control (or guaranteeing he's gone after this year!!!) is a condition of awarding Seattle the win this Sunday...

Super Farce XLIX: The Most Toxic Sporting Event in American History

I have to shake my head.

And the post I just made on the "No More" Super Bowl PSA is a LARGE part of it.

Because, to be a fan of the NFL these days, you effectively have to tolerate domestic violence, rape, murder, and all of the other manifestations of football (whether done by simple deliberate act or accentuated by massive brain injuries caused by repeated brain trauma as "part of the game" that they "knew the risks of") which have made the sport itself the villain.

So, on this Super Bowl XLIX, we have probably the perfect match-up.  The two current dirtiest franchises in the entire National Freefall League.

On one side, you have the openly-pushed Thug Super Bowl Defending Champions, the Seattle Seahawks (or, better put, the Seadderal SeaHags or SeaThugs).

There is no secret that this is an eminently unlikeable bunch, with easily the highest degree of thug in their defense (largely because, unlike Detroit's and the like, these guys get away with most of what they do, be it a late shot, a helmet, a shot to a knee (ask San Francisco's punter from last year's playoffs!), or all the trash-talking.

You have a figurehead of that defense in Richard Sherman, who, if the Seahawks win, will gladly and openly grace every cover, I would have to think, of every football preview next year with his (or, probably, more like two for the linemen) two Super Bowl rings, with two massive middle fingers in the air.

And, if not him, two more unlikeable (for many) candidates in "Beast Mode" Marshawn Lynch, an openly-ticking time bomb vs. the NFL corporate establishment and the Almighty Quarterback with Swagga (as long as he's Black Enough) Russell Wilson.

Never mind that, to get to even this title defense, the belt-holders literally had to do a very bad job of having their "talent" "enhanced" by a Green Bay Packers team who all but finally got the memo to lay down because they had to.

Never mind that, to get to even this title defense, we have to ignore the continuing cheat ways of the likes of Pete Carroll, including a litany of drug offenses which would explain why these guys look like they are hopped-up 12 year-old inner-city gangbangers.

Of course, that's one side of it.  When you get to the other, you begin to wonder if the NFL is actually marketing THESE motherfuckers as the GOOD GUYS!!!

Because, on the other side, you have, for the sixth time in the War on Terror Era (and you can add a seventh only five years previous), Bill Belichick and his New England Patriots (or Cheatriots).

Now, on surface, this franchise would seem to the outside observer to be pure as the driven Massachusetts snow.

When you look at the background, however, you see otherwise.

Just in this run:

• January 19, 2002:  The New England Patriots are awarded a controversial possession when the Oakland Raiders clearly gain a fumble which would've defeated the Patriots in the infamous "Tuck Rule" fiasco.
• January 26, 2002:  The Patriots defeat Pittsburgh in the AFC Championship Game that year, in a game in which numerous defensive fouls against the Patriots were all-but-certainly ignored.
• At some point in the intervening week:  The Rams' practices are being illegally taped.
• February 2, 2002:  The Patriots "win" their first NFL championship by "defeating" the St. Louis Rams, in no small part due to cooperation in the game planning by Mike Martz, corrupt officiating to prevent Tom Brady from being penalized (among others), and the first field goal in history to go seven seconds (to ensure the Rams don't get a shot to have their speedsters try to run back the ensuing kickoff).
• February 2003:  The screwjob is deemed so bad by the NFL, it literally has to give a make-up call, to both the Raiders and their coach that year, Jon Gruden, in having Tampa Bay (Gruden's new team) vs. the Raiders in the next Super Bowl.  The game is one of the most corrupt in history, with the new Raiders coach throwing the game by allowing Gruden to know all the audible signals -- and we now also know Tampa's quarterback bribed the custodians of the game balls to have them conform to his specifications.
• 2003-2004 and 2004-2005:  The Patriots "win" two more titles.
• January 2005:  The President of the United States invites Tom Brady to the State of the Union Speech as a paragon of drug-free competition.
• 2007:  The NFL is alerted by the New York Jets to their practices being illegally taped by the Patriots.  This allegation eventually comes out the week before Super Bowl XLII, a game in which the Patriots attempt to become the first team in history to win a championship undefeated in a 16-game regular season.
• February 3, 2008:  Largely as a result of the exposition into what would eventually be called "SpyGate", in which the allegations as to the Rams' practices being taped were published by the Boston Herald, the Patriots fail in that attempt, losing to the Giants, 17-14.  The fact that the Giants had a pass rush to speak of didn't hurt matters, but, absent some reason not to push them, the Patriots still had the appearance of clean as snow.
• 2008:  The league fines Belichick $500,000 and the team $250,000 for SpyGate, and takes their first pick in the draft.

That's just before these playoffs.

Not just including the Patriots, you have this to consider in this year's playoffs too to add to the witches' brew:

• January 3, 2015:  For the second time in two such incidences, a team with a losing record handily defeats a wild-card team with a far superior record in the Wild Card Round, as Carolina defeats Arizona 27-16.
• January 4, 2015:  In a game in which FOX just coincidentally had former head of officials Mike Periera in the booth, the most flagrant non-call in pass interference history aids the Dallas Cowboys in a comeback win over the Detroit Lions (which see previous comment on who gets away with thug hits and who does not).  In the owners' box, for the fifth time this year (all Dallas wins, in a season where Dallas went 12-4 and was expected to go about 6-10!), was the governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie, raising bribery questions.
• The NFL eventually admits at least SEVEN major officiating errors in the Dallas-Detroit contest.  I counted at least three on the play referenced alone!
• January 10, 2015:  New England defeats Pittsburgh in a game where at least one play appeared to have Pittsburgh vexed -- a play in which New England attempted to substitute in such a manner to deceive Pittsburgh into not knowing which ineligible number was an eligible receiver and which was not.
• January 11, 2015:  Probably because they got so completely caught the week before (and, not to mention, controversy centering on Christie which could lead to a Federal trial the NFL does want light shone on!), the NFL has another controversial call involving the Cowboys in the fourth quarter of a playoff game.  Dez Bryant appears to catch a near-touchdown which is about to give the Cowboys the lead against Green Bay.  But the Calvin Johnson Rule is invoked, and apparently correctly -- but it doesn't save the league massive scrutiny and controversy.
• January 18, 2015, Part I:  With an uncharacteristic performance by the Super Bowl Defending Champions, the Green Bay Packers have a 19-7 lead with the ball and under 5:00 to go.  Marshawn Lynch is dancing on the sideline.
• He should know why:  The Packers then lie down like good little jobbers and Seattle goes through the checklist (defense becomes unstoppable, one touchdown, onside kick recovered by Seattle, key Beast Mode rushing touchdown (and crotch grab) to give the Hawks the lead, last-minute drive by the Pack, OVERTIME, quick resolution by Almighty Quarterback Touchdown Drive so the other game can start on time) to go back-to-back in the NFC, 28-22.
• January 18, 2015, Part II:  The New England Patriots rout the Indianapolis Colts for the AFC crown, setting up the Super Bowl I predicted before the season began.  (Check this blog.  Check my Twitter.)
• January 19, 2015-present:  Within six hours of the Patriots' "victory", it comes out that the balls the Patriots used for the game (at least the first half) were deliberately deflated beyond regulation standard by...  somebody.  (Current investigation has a Patriots locker-room staffer responsible.)  Though this act would appear to make it possible for the Patriots to be disqualified, the league (all too happily) tells all sane people to go fuck off.
• The ensuing "DeflateGate" discussion has subsumed basically everything else on or off the field for the upcoming Super Bowl.
• It then comes out that Robert Kraft and Roger Goodell are very good friends -- Kraft so often running interference for Goodell that he is seen as an Associate Commissioner, and pictures surfacing of Goodell at Kraft's house before the January 18 games!

So why did I go through all this, if you're still reading?

This is not only the most toxic Super Bowl in history, it clearly appears to be the most toxic sporting event in the history of the American Sports Machine.

You have, clearly, THE TWO MOST CORRUPT COACHES IN AMERICAN SPORT TODAY.  And, until this situation blew up, I'd say Pete Carroll wins by a distance.  But Bill Belichick has got to Bill Belichick.

You have the two most corrupt teams in the league at this point.  There are many other teams who are simply incompetent, and corruption occurs, surely, in all 32 franchises.  But these are the two worst.

There's nothing to like about these guys.  None of them!

And all this in the background of:

• Ray Rice beating the fuck out of Stockholm Syndrome-sufferer Janay.
• Adrian Peterson beating the shit out of his kids.
• Ray McDonald getting police protection to get out of one domestic-violence situation, only to finally be slammed off the Niners when he adds a rape allegation to the list!
• Greg Hardy, who will finally go on trial February 9 on his domestic violence charges.
• Roger Goodell caught lying through his teeth about the Ray Rice fiasco.
• Roger Goodell saying he's going to get tough, when, in actuality, he's trying to nullify all player-conduct policies, on and off the field, so the monsters can rape, pillage, plunder, and main whoever the fuck they choose -- as long as they remain in the good graces of the NFL and not wear non-corporate cleats or grab their dick.

America, this is the Super Bowl you wanted.  Thugs vs. Cheats.

America, this is the Super Bowl you fucking deserve.  I hope (and probably will have a notebook to chronicle) there's a major incident to disgrace not only the NFL, but this entire nation of football addicts on Sunday.

Because, whichever team wins only becomes the question of how and where the dials get twiddled.

So, now, people like me are left with one thought in mind:

This Super Bowl begins to get the very real vibe of the first Ray Lewis Super Bowl, the year after he was involved in a murder (364 days previous, to be exact!).

There were indications the league was going this direction, as any Madden player would attest with the music.

But after the Ravens annihilated the Giants 34-7, the league went full Thug Mode.  An inner-city, gang-like culture which has infiltrated everything football is about -- included tatted-up draft prospects on ESPN, brawls in the stands (becoming far more exposed and frequent in the YouTube Era), and a brand of player that has made all reasoned hope for the game evaporate like the expectations of legal and fair play after Mayer v. Belichick, Patriots, and NFL.

I'm no longer certain who wins this game.  I predicted Seattle at the start of the year, and was certain of it til the Kraft stuff started coming out.  I don't know, right now, who I would pick.

I do know one thing.  My friend showed me this, the perfect poster-meme somebody came up with for this Super Farce XLIX, The Game America Deserves:

Super Farce XLIX, The (Bad and Unacceptable) Joke: The Domestic Violence Spot

You knew the league would do it.

It leaked today.

The league's attempt to make the stupid dupes believe the league actually cares about domestic violence.

In truth, all it is is either a grandiose PR move the 100 million+ idiots who will believe the game is legit will fall for, or a statement as to where the league believes the place of a woman actually is, while trying to tell you the opposite.


That is the actual group's channel too.

Well, the first comment posted (maybe not the first in order) is mine:

Too bad it's a lie, shills for the NFL.

If the NFL really cared about domestic violence, it would care about CTE (ask the family of Nancy and Daniel Benoit about the effects of repeated head injuries vis-a-vis domestic violence).

If the NFL really cared about domestic violence, people would actually take one look at the monstrous animals who maim each other for our entertainment and re-examine how we allowed that into our society. 

If the NFL really cared about domestic violence, it would re-examine the sport of football and every manifestation of how it is presented, and try to figure out how to not have a spiked increase in domestic violence in NFL cities in which their team loses, especially unexpectedly (which repeated surveys have shown on the subject). 

If the NFL really cared about domestic violence, it would care about women as more than panty-flashers on the sidelines and sideline reporters only there to make men drool. Start with the very wives who have put up with many of the aforementioned monstrous animals. 

Sorry, you're either doing PR or showing a woman her real place. 

And, knowing your Master, Roger Goodell, I cannot rule out the latter.

Super Farce XLIX, The Cheats: And Now The Threats Begin...

Brandon Browner used to play for the SeaThugs.

Brandon Browner now plays cornerback for the Patriots.

Brandon Browner has said he wants his teammates to hurt Richard Sherman, who suffered a couple decent-sized injuries against the Packers almost 10 days ago now, according to Deadspin:

"Those dudes are tough. Watching the game, you can see Sherman was holding that arm like he had a sling on it. But at the end of the day, this is about the Super Bowl. I'm going to tell my teammates: 'Go hit that elbow, go hit that shoulder. Hit it, try to break it if you can.'"

Why is he doing this?

"You're going to be my best friend after the game, but at the end of he day, I know you want the Super Bowl just as bad as I do."

Sherman himself, according to the article, says Browner is still a member of the Legion of Boom.

Gee, where you think Browner got the idea for all of that?

Bobby Wagner has said the Seahawks will respond in kind.  Nothing personal.

Super Farce XLIX, The Thugs: Marshawn Lynch is a Ticking Time Bomb

Well, at least the NFL got Marshawn Lynch to APPEAR at Media Day.

Too bad he didn't SAY anything.

Am I the only person in the world who hopes this guy humiliates the NFL by doing something they'd probably have to create a new part of the fine book for?

I mean, now we're hearing tell that the NFL is threatening, that if Lynch becomes a three-time offender with the crotch-grabbing at the Big Game, they might actually throw the flag this time.

OOOOH, that'll teach him.

No, anyone who knows Marshawn Lynch knows it'll just piss Beast Mode off.

More NFL Shenanigans: Another NFL Wife Subjugated By The League, and the Assistant Commissioner Wants An Apology!

Two more Deadspin gems my friend looked up this afternoon...

1) Robert Kraft Wants A Fucking Apology.

Robert Kraft, the Assistant Commissioner of the NFL (and, by no coincidence, the owner of the team who has had 6 of the last 14 AFC Championships...), has demanded an apology for himself and his quarterback, and crashed a Monday press conference in Arizona to get the point across.

"If the Wells investigation is not able to definitely determine that our organization tampered with the air pressure in the footballs, I would expect and hope the league would apologize to our entire team and in particular coach Belichick and Tom Brady for what they have had to endure the last week. I am disappointed in the way the entire matter has been handled and reported upon," Kraft said.

... according to the article.

Kiss my ass, Kraft.  You didn't even need to cheat this time (unless you've been cheating in this manner the entire season, or, at the very least, since Week 5), because of how much your team had run over the AFC.

As the article notes, he just went after Goodell.  The question is whether the "Wells investigation" is going to be announced this week.  If it goes against the Pats, take Seattle big.

2) Another NFL wife has been subjugated by the league, her husband being punished for actually being a husband.

Brent Grimes is a cornerback for the Dolphins.

As far as the NFL is concerned, this Pro Bowler may not be much longer if he doesn't forcibly shut his wife up.

Miko Grimes (the wife) needed oral surgery during the Thursday before the Pro Bowl, and the coaches of the game gave Brent permission to be with his wife.

Or so one would think...

The league saw differently, and snatched his paycheck for the game as a result!!!

MIKO GRIMES IS PISSED.

I have friends that were beaten, thrown down stairs WHILE PREGNANT, guys arrested, & @nfl suspended them 1 FUCKING GAME! Now yall care? FOH

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) January 26, 2015

Im contemplating naming SEVERAL players that the @nfl violated the concussion rules with players but that would take down ppl i care about.

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) January 26, 2015

Not that that should be any secret to anybody.

Nor this: Only real question is HOW Miko gets silenced. Does the NFL threaten Brent's job or send someone to beat the shit out of Miko a little bit?

They ask these guys to play a game on Sunday, then turn around and play again on Thursday! 😳 Know why? 💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰💰

— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) January 26, 2015

Someone please lock up Roger Goodell now.

And, almost right on cue, it's as if "No Chance In Hell" comes over the loudspeakers and here comes the Commish.

GQ did a VERY unflattering piece about Roger Goodell and the NFL, and Deadspin published some of the lowlights.

First big quote they published was about the handling of the Ray Rice banishment -- but the money line, to me, was something else:

Earlier that day, Kraft had appeared on CBS This Morning and was questioned by Charlie Rose about Goodell's handling of the Rice situation. It didn't go well. "He had no knowledge of this video," Kraft told Rose stiffly. "Anyone who's second-guessing that doesn't know him." After the interview, the source says, Kraft conferred with his friend Leslie Moonves, the CEO of CBS. The two men spoke often, but this call was urgent: In roughly forty-eight hours, CBS was set to air the first of eight Thursday Night Football games (for which the network reportedly paid about $250 million), and the game featured the Ravens. Kraft and Moonves agreed that Goodell needed to appear on CBS News and answer questions. The questioner, Moonves added, should be a woman…

So large is Kraft's sway with Goodell that one veteran NFL executive likes to call him "the assistant commissioner."

Well, if you need any further indication as to how the Patriots have been to, now, three more Super Bowls since the "War on Terror" died down a bit in the public eye, there you go.

It's bad enough, but par for the course for the PR Commish, to try to spin everything and the like -- but when you basically have an owner who is all but the assistant to the Commissioner, and this is now his sixth Super Bowl in 14 years...

Not to mention that Kraft and Goodell had a party together at Kraft's house before the AFC title game, a fact not lost on no less than Richard Sherman!!

When a punk-ass thug like Richard Sherman is RIGHT about Roger Goodell and a burgeoning conflict of interest (which goes back far beyond Deflate-Gate!), you know we've lost the plot somewhere.

But it goes far beyond that.  We get the blatant "IT'S A VAST LEFT-WING CONSPIRACY!!!!" situation here:

"The players' union wants to bring Roger down anytime they can," (Texans owner) Bob McNair told me. A media executive added: "All of the owners are in unison on this. A lot of people feel it's a liberal agenda." Says another source, a friend of Goodell's: "You have Al Sharpton saying Goodell should be fired. What the fuck does Al Sharpton know?"

A liberal agenda?

If this were truly a liberal agenda, you'd see games disrupted.  Violently. 

And that's what probably needs to take place, to be blunt.

Because any real liberal agenda would take into account that we now are seeing a rise in a men's rights movement with football as it's centerpiece.

Like the Penn State fan who's telling me there are no facts to support my claims.  I meet him, he gets my fist, like all other pedophiles and their enablers should get.

Like a football fan in Canada today, who FILED A COMPLAINT with the Ontario Human Rights Tribunal, claiming his right to kick the fucking shit out of any woman he wants to...

You read that right.  I'm not kidding.  I really am not.

In 1989, an animal claiming the right to kill women in the name of men's superpower over them killed 14 women at a French-Canadian university.  As a result, various entities created the White Ribbon Campaign against domestic violence.

The Toronto Argonauts have done work for this Campaign, and this shithead complained.  A second complaint will go forward, because the Argonauts have threatened to ban him from the stadium and revoke his season tickets as a result!!!

Vast liberal agenda, my fucking ass, Goodell!!  This sport has done more to promote "men"'s "rights" such as domestic violence, rape, sodomy, bullying, hazing, and (dare I say it!!) pedophilia under it's colors that, for any "liberal agenda" to be in force, you'd have to shut down the entire sport, cocksucker!

"At NFL headquarters there was suddenly a new mood, a brasher, more money-minded approach. The new commissioner demanded loyalty from staffers and even questioned their value. "He thought everyone was overpaid," a former senior executive told me. "He always told me I was overpaid." Another told me: "He gave me a hard time about my contract. I was like, The fuck you doing? This is peanuts.""

So what is this?  The Bill Clinton school of thinking, where even one's life has a price?

Who the fuck are you, Roger?  Vince McMahon, booking the 2015 Royal Rumble, a card which, unless the fan revolt severely decreases ticket demand, will all but ensure I do NOT attend Wrestlemania???

(Had to get that shot in.  If you admit the stuff is rigged, you still have an obligation to make a good job out of it!!!)

Of course, that might pale to Houston Texans owner Bob McNair:

"It was about protecting the brand," recalled Bob McNair, who attended the sessions. "Do we want the brand attacked on this for the next ten years? Or do we want to go ahead and take the high road? In effect, we don't think most of these concussions referenced even occurred in the NFL, but we're not going to complain about it."

FUCK YOU, BOB.

Maybe a lot of these concussions occurred because this is what football has become when the NFL became about making your body a missile and drilling somebody in the head!!

In rugby, they'd be sent off for spearing!

You want to see how bad it is?  This is the last quote Deadspin added to the article.  It's former Commissioner Paul Tagliabue.

Tagliabue sees Goodell's laser focus on profit and his combative stance toward players as key parts of the problem. "If they see you making decisions only in economic terms, they start to understand that and question what you're all about," he said. "There's a huge intangible value in peace. There's a huge intangible value in having allies." As for his relationship with his protégé, Tagliabue says, "We haven't talked much since I left. It's been his decision. Bountygate didn't help." In our conversation, Tagliabue seemed disappointed, and a bit sad, about the sorry state of the game he ran for seventeen years.

They don't want peace.

They don't want allies.

They truly believe they are the sole National Religion, and, hence, need none of that sort.

You want a great example?  This is my fifty-third post in January, and there's still Super Bowl Week to go here.

Super Bowl XLIX, The Thugs: And for just $199, the NFL will sell you... Oh wait...

Leave it to the NFL to COMPLETELY LOSE THE PLOT.

NFL has photographers all over the field for every game, more and more as the stakes get higher.

So the NFL was going to sell (probably almost exclusively to the 12th Man) a collage of different Seattle pictures from the lay-down Green Bay committed against them a week ago.

For what it's worth, these collages are rather common.

So Roger Goodell must have been in a real good mood when that $199 collage was going to include a full-on picture of the crotch grab by Marshawn Lynch.

Almost so good, it's trolling...

The collage has since been yanked off of NFL sites.

The Allenby Story Falls Apart -- But WHY It's a Story is the Wrong Side of It

Well, Robert Allenby lied.

I think we're pretty clear on this now.

After being cut from the Sony Open, word is that Robert Allenby went to a strip club and dropped $3,400 on the action there.

No wonder he was so wasted and all that.

OK, I get it.

So the question is:  Why lie about it to such an extent?

Allenby has already sat out one event since, and I have to wonder, now that we basically understand he's lying, if the real story here is that, somewhere in this (probably the coverup, if anything) is a Conduct Unbecoming a PGA Professional situation.

(And, no, it's NOT the strip club, unless he did something to one or more of the ladies we don't know about yet!)

Super Farce XLIX, The Cheats: Now, even the company making the balls is throwing Belicheat under the bus...

Someone has to be banned from the Super Bowl.

Hell, CANCEL THE FUCKING FARCE already.  It's clear the Packers had to literally throw the NFC game, and it's clear the AFC game was tainted cheaply.

A Wilson representative has now added his name to the fact that Belichick was full of shit on the balls.

This is going to get beyond ugly by Sunday.

The Pats should be thrown out (unless you're somebody who understands this is the Super Bowl Football Nation America deserves), the SeaThugs should be thankful for the booking, and...  Oh brother.

The new baseball Commissioner is a fucking idiot.

And you can tack on a BIG red flag while you're at it.

Deadspin compiled a couple of interviews of Rob Manfred as Commissioner, and one thing is crystal clear.

The guy wants to bring back offense in a BIG WAY.

So big, one of his first concrete ideas is to illegalize the defensive shift.

He also wants to try to speed up games.

I'm just waiting for what a couple morons over on MLB Trade Rumors said, and, knowing what Manfred said, this is a big red flag for it:

We had at least two commenters openly say players should be allowed to juice.

Credibility? We're The American Sports Machine!

We don't need no steeking credibility!!!

1) Ernie Banks died on Friday.

(And if you don't know why people should feel bad about this, even as non-Cubs fans, you never watched baseball.)

Anyway, Mark Bogen, the family attorney, said the following on Friday:

""His death was not expected," Bogen said."

He went so far as to say the death was not by "natural causes".

Well, thanks for scaring us, dummy.  When your comment makes it sound like someone killed him or he got a diagnosis and decided to die with dignity (as he most certainly lived!), today at the press conference we simply find out he died...

... of a heart attack.

2) This one could simply fall under "Super Farce XLIX: The Cheats", but it's a little short.

Bill Belichick tried to explain away and sweep under the rug the whole "DeflateGate" thing, and tried to use science to do it.

He did not take into account another Bill -- BILL NYE.

The Science Guy basically shot that theory full of holes, as Deadspin reported today.

Congratulations, you shithead -- you just converted Nye to a temporary SeaThugs fan.  Thanks.

3) Speaking of shitheads, ESPN has given it's answer to DraftGate.

No, they're not firing Chad Ford for effective journalistic disintegrity.

They're not even going to suspend him, rendering it a worse offense to debate a Republican crybaby on evolution than to alter the story to make yourself look better.

No, they just changed everything back.

The American Sports Machine only has to make it APPEAR the games are legitimate.  Integrity usually leaves the playing field completely by that point.

So is this how ESPN controls the dialogue?

Another Deadspin gem unearthed by my anonymous friend...

Chad Ford is the ESPN NBA draft guru.

Well, after this weekend, we may make that past tense...

Reddit users have now caught Chad Ford retroactively altering his draft boards to make himself look good.

Really...

Really, Chad...

Really, ESPN...

The Reddit people, using Internet pages which track edits to such affairs, caught Chad:

• Altering his 2009 Draft Board sometime in 2012.
• 2010's, they got down to somewhere in October or early November of 2012!
• 2011's, they could only get to late 2012 or early 2013.
• 2012's, he might have done before 2011's.
• 2013's?  Last three months.

Son, you done.

2014 WYE Year In Review: Can Mike Do It? Can Mike Finally Finish His Review of the Worst Sports Year Ever?

Sheesh.

September 12:  Jayru Campbell, former football prospect in Michigan, just hours after being released for assaulting a security guard, assaults his girlfriend on campus and is arrested again.

He got seven months for violating probation (and only a year of probation for the violence!) and was also under investigation for an assault while on the inside.

No word on whether he still will be allowed to graduate the school he quarterbacked to two Michigan state titles, much less play in college.

September 13:  Rutgers plays Penn State in the first Big Ten meeting between the two teams, and, after anti-PSU comments from the fans, the Rutgers AD is forced to apologize.

September 14:  Week Two begins, as the NFL is a raging inferno over Rice and Peterson:

• Mike Ditka claims getting the shit beat out of him made him a better child.
• Charles Barkley throws the entire South under the bus.
• Protests around the league include flyovers demanding Goodell's firing and an iconic change from what the NFL wants to project as "makeup" for female fans to what it really is too often -- a black eye!

September 15: Adrian Peterson will play in Week 3, says the Vikings -- until KHOU reports a SECOND set of child-abuse allegations.  Sponsors begin to bolt Peterson and the Vikings, and, after a bunch of thug fans show support for Peterson, a prominent Vikings message board shuts itself down.

Ray Rice appeals his indefinite suspension.

And a former NFL wife gives a haunting set of truths about silencing dissent within the NFL family.

September 16:  Rihanna, angry at the NFL's handling of her situation, and a former domestic violence victim herself, forcibly cuts ties with the NFL as CBS' theme song singer for the Thursday night telecasts.

Numerous sponsors either cut ties with Peterson and the Vikings, or express concern at the NFL as a whole.  No major NFL sponsor, however, completely cuts ties.

September 17:  Arizona's Jonathan Dwyer adds his name to a growing list of abusers within the NFL over the course of what is turning into the biggest crisis in decades.

Grantland publishes an article which gives a new meaning to the NFL's "Together, We Make Football" by exposing a small portion of a year's worth of ignored abuse claims.

Jameis Winston wants in:  Still under investigation by Florida State University for rape, he yells a vulgar, misogynistic Internet meme at lunch.  He is banned for a half.

Reggie Bush steps in it with several comments which make it appear he could be investigated for how he disciplines his daughter.

Adrian Peterson is finally put on the Commissioner's Permission List, ending his season.

September 18:  A member of one of the sixteen teams in the League of Legends World Championships is suspended for it's first round group phase for racial denigration of his Taiwanese hosts.  Partially as a result, his team does not make it out of the group phase.  The Danish player is still with his team to date.

Jonathan Dwyer is charged with various forms of child and spousal abuse -- he's soon on the same list as Peterson.

A poll released by SI puts the blame outside of Goodell, and largely begins the ability of Goodell to seize the narrative and quiet the storm...

September 19:  Which he does the next day, with a lot of smoke and bluster, but very little else, outside of a new personal conduct policy which, early in 2015, the players' association will seek to nullify.

The same day, ESPN's Outside the Lines eviscerates the standing story regarding the Ravens and Ray Rice, basically making it clear it was more important to have him on the field than actually holding anyone accountable for Rice beating his wife into submission.

Winston's ban is now the entire game vs. Clemson, a game Florida State barely wins and Winston almost scoffs at the ban during pre-game.  The ban effectively ends any realistic chance of him going back-to-back on the Heisman.

September 20:  According to Gloria Allred, retained by the victim, another NFL player was allowed to rape a woman on Saturday and still play on Sunday.  The player is later revealed to be C.J. Spillman of the Dallas Cowboys.

September 21:  Dan Le Betard, him of the sold Hall of Fame ballot, throws a broadside at the NFL, asking a very uncomfortable question:  Does football itself contribute to bad behavior NFL can't prevent?

Rob Bironas, formerly of the Titans, dies in a bizarre one-car crash under very mysterious circumstances which appear consistent with football-enhanced brain damage or the abuse of the drug Ambien.

September 22:  The Ravens respond with a litany of denials to the Outside the Lines report.

Bill Simmons responds with a barrage of statements against Roger Goodell, and dares anyone at ESPN to do anything about it.

September 24:  True to ESPN's subservience to the NFL, Simmons gets his wish and a three-week suspension.

On the same day, unnamed Atlantic City law enforcement basically states Simmons was telling the truth when he said Goodell lied -- for the SECOND TIME.

September 25:  Derek Jeter has a single in his last Yankee Stadium at-bat.  It appears the pitch is utterly juiced down the middle, and results in the game-winning RBI for the Yankees, long since out of the playoffs.

September 28:  Husain Abdullah of the Kansas City Chiefs is flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct after scoring a touchdown.  His offense:  Going into Muslim prayer in the end zone afterward -- "going to ground" to do so.  The league, within two days, admits it erred.

September 29:  Jovan Belcher's brain is found to have CTE-level damage, and the University of Michigan is brought under fire for allowing it's quarterback to go out with clear concussion symptoms.

By the end of Week 4:  New England is 2-2 and in big trouble.  Seattle is infighting all over the place and is 2-1 and would eventually get to 3-3.

September 30:  PBS releases a statement from the Department of Veterans Affairs, which has a brain repository, in which 79 NFL players now have their brains.  They all were checked for CTE.  All but three came back positive.

October 2:  Three high-school football players join the growing ranks of players dead due to football.  All three had brain injuries.

October 3:  Bironas was drinking the night he crashed and died, to the point of a .218 BAC.

John Elway's son is arrested for domestic violence, but gets off light because...  John Elway!

October 6:  Bud Selig's love affair with the Cardinals continues, screwing over the Dodgers for the second year in a row.  How are the Cardinals the only team that can hit Kershaw?  Take one look at the umpiring...

The Minneapolis Star-Tribune basically exposes Adrian Peterson as a fraud, and reveals a six-month police investigation as to his conduct at a party in Minneapolis.

October 8:  Cardinal Fan is Cardinal Fan, as Cardinal fans are seen attempting to provoke racial unrest in the continuing Ferguson, MO situation.

October 10:  A teenage Lions fan is banned from the stadium (all events there, not just NFL) for LIFE for using a laser pointer to attempt to blind opposing players from Buffalo.

October 11:  Florida State is forced by Title IX to start a sham trial "against" Jameis Winston for the rape he's been under a cloud for for almost two years now.

The New York Times reports that Florida State has been covering up for it's football team as long as can be remembered, and one SI legal analyst said the best case for Jameis Winston at this point would be to drop out of school now.

Jerry Angelo, formerly Bears GM, reports he was witness to hundreds and hundreds of reports of domestic violence in his time with the team -- all covered up.

October 13:  A school superintendent in Sayreville, NJ cancels the football program after seven students are charged with sodomizing the humanity out of younger players. At least one victim, this week, has announced a probable $1.5 million lawsuit.  It took until the first week of 2015 for enough to come down on said superintendent to reinstate the program.

October 14:  Now, Jameis Winston is being investigated by the NCAA for the same violations Johnny Manziel started his senior season with -- illegal autographs.

October 21:  The WTA bans the senior tennis official from Russia for one year after he called Serena and Venus Williams men.

The NFL finishes the job and cuts Michael Sam from the Cowboys' practice squad.  On the same day, the wife of former NFL player Adam Treu says you will hear of an NFL wife murdered before another is allowed to speak out.

October 23:  ESPN got hold of a substitute lineman's helmet from an NFL game.  It wasn't pretty.

North Carolina's academic fraud investigation explodes, as it appears that a decade and a half of African-American Stuies classes were involved.

October 27:  A suburban Philadelphia high school ends it's football season due to sexual-assault hazing.

A Dallas Cowboys fan goes viral after the Cowboys lose Monday Night Football's contest to the Redskins.  As a result of said loss, he goes "APESHIT FUCKING MODE!" and TRASHES HIS APARTMENT/HOME.

October 30:  Mike Periera, former NFL officials' head, chastises the SEC for using a secret official to communicate with during replay reviews in games.

November 4:  Adrian Peterson pleads out to a lesser charge in Houston.  His attempt to re-enter the league this season was, surprisingly, later denied!

November 6:  Deadspin reveals that any real attempt to Death Penalty Penn State was a complete bluff.

As if the Jameis Winston Saga isn't enough, underground Vegas sources reveal the very real possibility that Winston was point-shaving for the behalf of a former high-school teammate in the first half of an ACC game vs. Louisville.  Similar patterns of possible point-shaving could be seen in almost every succeeding game Winston played.

November 9:  Chase Coughlin of the Titans is fined $30,000 for cheap-shotting an assistant coach of the Ravens.

November 11:  Orlando Thomas, dead due to football.  ALS at 42.

November 14:  Good news:  The New England Patriots got to one million Twitter followers and gave everyone who retweeted that fact an electronic personalized team jersey with their handle on it.  Bad news:  One of the handles:  IHateN*****s.  The team apologized.

November 16:  Kevin Harvick shoves Brad Keselowski into getting his ass kicked in an incident with Brad involved in which Kevin was not!  One week later, Harvick wins his first title.  Have at it, boys!!

The DEA investigated several NFL teams as part of answering a lawsuit by former players on drugs being used by the teams.  The lawsuit, soon after, was dismissed.

November 21:  Keith Law is banned from his ESPN Twitter account for fighting noted Republican crybaby Curt Schilling on evolution.

November 22:  Jameis Winston forcibly shoves a referee out of the way at the line of scrimmage...  AND GETS AWAY WITH IT.

November 28:  Ray Rice wins his appeal.

November 30:  Ohio State senior lineman Kosta Karageorge is found, dead with a gunshot wound to the head, in a dumpster, after being missing the last several days, including Senior Day in Columbus.

December 7:  Florida State University is given one of the four spots in the first College Football Playoff.

December 10:  The NFL announces a new Personal Conduct Policy, allowing for more pre-conviction leeway.  As stated above, a grievance has been filed to stop it.

December 17:  Ray McDonald is FINALLY cut from the 49ers, but it takes another rape investigation to get it done.

Jim Harbaugh, who said he wouldn't have any domestic violence on his team, gets a $48,000,000 parachute out of San Francisco to coach at Michigan.

Dan Hampton wanted the Bears coaching staff waterboarded, while a Chicago-area station said, in a graphic, that the Bears should cut Jay Cutler or cut their wrists.

December 21:  Jameis Winston wins the sham trial.

A low-level bowl game is interrupted as the line judge was struck by an object, purportedly thrown from the stands.

December 22:  Another low-level bowl game ends in a brawl between the two teams after the final whistle.

December 25:  A Twitter war erupts in Inland California when a Kobe-jocker is so offended by someone saying (correctly!) the Lakers are better off without Kobe Bryant, said Kobe-jocker jumps in his car and heads to Temecula on Christmas Day for a fight!  Too bad for him, the other guy was on vacation in another state.

December 26:  For grabbing his crotch after a long TD run, Marshawn Lynch is fined $11,050.  He repeat-offenders on the touchdown which aided in sending the NFC Championship to overtime four weeks later -- fine is doubled.

December 29:  Ndamokung Suh is finally suspended for yet another incident vs. the Packers...

December 30:  ... only to have it reversed.

A third bowl game is disrupted when, twice in the first half (and the first, apparently, right in front of an official!), a Texas A&M student assistant cheap-shots a West Virginia ball-carrier.