Credibility? We're The American Sports Machine!

We don't need no steeking credibility!!!

1) Ernie Banks died on Friday.

(And if you don't know why people should feel bad about this, even as non-Cubs fans, you never watched baseball.)

Anyway, Mark Bogen, the family attorney, said the following on Friday:

""His death was not expected," Bogen said."

He went so far as to say the death was not by "natural causes".

Well, thanks for scaring us, dummy.  When your comment makes it sound like someone killed him or he got a diagnosis and decided to die with dignity (as he most certainly lived!), today at the press conference we simply find out he died...

... of a heart attack.

2) This one could simply fall under "Super Farce XLIX: The Cheats", but it's a little short.

Bill Belichick tried to explain away and sweep under the rug the whole "DeflateGate" thing, and tried to use science to do it.

He did not take into account another Bill -- BILL NYE.

The Science Guy basically shot that theory full of holes, as Deadspin reported today.

Congratulations, you shithead -- you just converted Nye to a temporary SeaThugs fan.  Thanks.

3) Speaking of shitheads, ESPN has given it's answer to DraftGate.

No, they're not firing Chad Ford for effective journalistic disintegrity.

They're not even going to suspend him, rendering it a worse offense to debate a Republican crybaby on evolution than to alter the story to make yourself look better.

No, they just changed everything back.

The American Sports Machine only has to make it APPEAR the games are legitimate.  Integrity usually leaves the playing field completely by that point.