Super Farce XLIX, The Commissioner: Lies, Lies, Lies Yeah! (Part 2)

Some more of the 44 lies Deadspin's Drew Magary noted about today's State of the NFL speech:

12)  "We have the best partners bitches in media."

There.  Fixed that one for you.

You have shills you keep in line, not partners.

Ask Rolling Stone on that one.

13)  "We have an enormous responsibility to lead every day by example."

That's not a lie.

The lie is that you feel you do it.

If you did, you'd force these players to account for on and off-the-field misdeeds and encourage communities across the nation to do the same...

... crippling the product at all levels.  Yeah, fucking, right.

14)  "It is what our fans deserve. We are humbled by and grateful for their passion."

More their fealty!

I've seen lives be subjugated to FANTASY football teams.  I've seen people have to suck up their own sadness just to serve their "friends'" football addictions, refuse to do so, and watch those friends get every fucking benefit in the book for doing so...

On top of that, are you grateful for this?

or this??

... for which a fan in the first clip may have ended up PARALYZED...

Or how about this viral gem, if we don't even want to get to fights...

And note, Roger Goodell, much of this destruction was BEFORE the Cowboys failed on 4th down!

THAT is what you are humbled by?

15) "We know we must earn the trust of our fans every day."

No, what you know and operate with the assumption of is that the average intelligence of the NFL fan is about that of the generic fruit fly.

Kumquat?

16) "We have great people working for the NFL."

Ray Rice.

Adrian Peterson.

Hey, the Aaron Hernandez murder trial is finally starting!  (The jury is allowed to watch the Super Bowl, but must leave the collective room if Hernandez is mentioned.  Hernandez is not allowed.)

How about the 49ers security guy who's also the first responder to help Ray McDonald cover up his first 2014 incident?

How about you yourself, you fucking piece of shit, Mr. Goodell?

How about Jerry Jones, committing Federal bribery offenses in his dealings with Chris Christie, the governor of New Jersey??

How about the personnel people of all 32 NFL teams, denying the Defensive Player of the Year in the best conference in the land an NFL opportunity because he doesn't have a trophy wife who's a woman...

That's just seven examples.

If those are "great people", then you probably need me jailed or eliminated, because I must be insane.

17) "We are also, as we demonstrated with Ted Wells, not afraid to go outside and get outside perspective that can be valuable to us."

Oh, like the "independent review" of the handling of the Ray Rice case, by former FBI head Robert Mueller - a man with significant NFL ties!

The same Ted Wells, by the way, who helped try to get Richie Incognito (NFL "Good Guy" of the Dolphins, by the way, in 2012 with Reggie Bush) back in good graces of the league by helping to cover for him and the Dolphins, rather than put that piece of shit in prison where he belongs!  (Wells headed the investigation into bullying by the Dolphins, that which ran Jonathan Martin off the Dolphins.  Martin, unlike Incognito, however, played in 2014, playing 15 games and starting 9 for the 49ers.)

18) "We want all of our franchises to stay in their current markets."

You are out of your fucking mind if you think that's going to work.

I wouldn't even be so sure, given your corporate bent, if your eventual goal would be to wrench the Packers out of Green Bay and get them in a larger, more corporate-friendly environment.

19)  "It has been a tough year on me personally.

20)  "It has been a year of humility and learning."

21) "We have all done a lot of soul searching."

You have a soul?  That takes out #21.

Humility is a sign of weakness in the National Manhood League.  There goes #20.

#19 might well be true, but that's probably more due to the fact that you have been called out for the slimy, corporate piece of shit you are, Roger.

22) "We have made enormous progress."

I think we're going to find out to what end, and we're not going to like it.

You really don't get the kind of criminal monsters you have up and down the league and up and down the sport of football.

You're going to tell me you made enormous progress on the likes of domestic violence, and, within four months, you will shake the hand of, as all but the #1 Draft Pick to Tampa Bay, an open rapist who all but got his victim bullied and almost killed by the police and the like where he was BMOC in Tallahassee.

And that's just one example of HUNDREDS.