2022 NFL Week 1 Political Report

I was going to title this something else, at least the first several weeks -- and then forgot I actually DID plan to do weekly of this from the start last season, so here ya go.

The biggest story here is basically two-fold, joined at the elbow:

1) There's going to be a lot of teams basically in about the same stew this year, talent-level wise, meaning a lot of close games.

2) There's going to be a lot of shit football played this year.

Cincinnati-Pittsburgh?  Check.

Denver-Seattle??  Check.

I would not be surprised at all if we do get a record number of Cliffhangers this season (averaged per week, to equate to the 18-week schedule).

It's kind of hard for me to go much further than I did in my predictions, but if I did, I'd note three teams really appeared to separate themselves this week:  Kansas City, Buffalo, and Tampa Bay.

Buffalo took the defending Super Bowl Champs and basically invalidated any thought that the team legitimately won the title last year with a shocking performance Thursday night.

Kansas City took Arizona to school in a slightly less surprising result (with the injuries and personal-conduct/drug issues Arizona has had with the NFL in the offseason).

And Tampa...  might just have finished off Jason Garrett AND Dak Prescott in Dallas with that performance.

I mean, yes, Week 1, but might as well rank a few.

AFC:

1) Buffalo  

That was quite a piece of work they put together against the Rams last Thursday.  Really cemented the concept that the Bills are seen as the best team in the NFL in a shoot sense.  And, with some of the other discussions this week, might well have put significant distance between them and the AFC.

2) Kansas City

3) Baltimore

4) LA Chargers

This is ALMOST a 3 and 3A here.  Lamar Jackson probably decides it, but, for the moment, there you are.

HUH??:  Pittsburgh, Cleveland, and Miami also won.

AFC DUD OF THE WEEK:

NOMINEES:

New York Jets coach Robert Saleh, who officially said he's "taking receipts" from all the haters of the Jets after another dud performance.

REALLY...  The Jets haven't had a winning season since 2015, nor a playoff berth since 2010.

YOUR FRANCHISE IS A JOKE.  Put that down for a receipt, coach!  Your franchise doesn't even belong in a league above the USFL!

The Denver Broncos, who fumbled TWICE inside the 1 yard line and had so little faith in the offense that, instead of trying a 4th and 5 from the Seattle 46 with a minute left, let the clock run down to 20 seconds and tried a 64 yard field goal, which went wide left.  The 12 penalties were also a week high.

The Tennessee Titans, who lost to The Sentient Derp in Week 1!!

The New England Patriots, who probably pulled a Dallas, except for the fact that they lost to Miami!!!  That is a close second...

BUT YOUR WINNER:

THE CINCINNATI BUNGLES, who bungled their way to 5 turnovers, a missed field goal and a missed extra point, either of which would've won the game -- and they lose to the Pittsburgh Steelers in the beginnings of their defense of the AFC Championship.

NFC:

1) Tampa Bay

If the Thursday nighter was a piece of work, this was artistry, and on both sides of the ball.  They took a team that most would've considered at least an outside contender and basically ended their season Week One.  And, if this week is any indication, they're three weeks from taking out another bag of trash.

There really isn't a #2 at this point -- I probably would've said that anyway, but there you go.

SPECIAL MENTIONS:

The NFC East, outside Dallas.  All three other teams won.

Chicago, who stunned San Francisco in the slop.

Minnesota, who, once again, exposed the idiocy in Green Bay and should get the Packers to at least take some live reps in the preseason for their starters....  any millenium now...

NFC DUD OF THE WEEK:

NOMINEES:

Arizona Cardinals and NFL Karma:  You think some of those discipline problems and the like didn't come back to bite you square in the ass?

LA Rams:  The whole point of the Super Bowl Championship Party opener is NOT to lay that kind of an egg.  Remember how much of a bandwagon Showtime can be, and you'll realize how paper-thin your margin of error actually IS out there!

Jerry Jones, Jason Garrett, and whatever approximated a game plan or God knows what for the Cowboys this week:  The only reason you didn't win outright is that there was at least an expectation that Tampa and TB are trying to lay down the rubber to make the risk to Tom Brady's marriage worth it this season!  But not only do you lose the game by a margin which makes 19-3 look cuddly, you basically jailbreak a screen pass in the fourth quarter, the screen largely fails, and your quarterback breaks his hand on the rushers, out 6-8 weeks.  Season...  over??

San Francisco 49ers:  For a team which seems to have the number of the owner of the Chicago Bears, THAT sucked WORSE than the Bears usually do!

Atlanta Falcons:  As I once told the now-manager of Debbie Gibson:  "Again???"  ANOTHER TWO-TOUCHDOWN LEAD BLOWN because you're Atlanta and have no idea how to finish a game??

BUT YOUR WINNER, BARELY NOSING OUT THE RAMS, COWBOYS, AND 49ERS:

THE GREEN BAY PACKERS, THEIR PRESEASON PHILOSOPHY, AND THE RIGHT WING PIG AT QUARTERBACK, AARON "I NEVER SAW A RED HAT I DIDN'T LIKE" RODGERS:

As I told same manager:  "Again???"

For the second year in a row, and everybody could've seen this coming (so much so, the late money moved the game the better part of four points in the spread, GB -2 to MIN -2), Green Bay basically used Week 1 as the old Week 3 of a four-week preseason, as they decided to actually, once again, make a game that counts a dress rehearsal, and laid down.

That's bad enough.

But then, your quarterback decides he wants to go full-on MAGAt with the likes of Joe Rogan (and I'm sure I could sense that old Portnoy sow from Barfstool at some point in the equation too!), with statements like he knows California is going down into the shitter, etc.

Dude, WHAT HAVE YOU ACCOMPLISHED IN THE LAST TEN YEARS TO EVEN THINK YOU CAN POP YOUR TRAP LIKE THAT?

I get it.  I do.  I lived in rural Wisconsin, where you went to your first Mass in the fall at 8 or 10 AM, and then had your second Mass in front of your television set as the Packers played at noon most Sundays.

But at SOME POINT, Packers, you have to understand when the season is 0-0 and decide you're going to take matters seriously!  And at SOME POINT, Aaron, you need to shut up and play.  Because to even be in position that a Red Tsunami would get you political points toward maybe actually winning a Super Bowl (Hell, getting to one...), you have to win games like that, starting Week 1.