Official Super Fraud NFL Preview, Part Two: The NFC

 (Pre-dating this -- more big developments in AEW-land...)

NFC EAST

Dallas Cowboys:  So much in the Goodell NFL, and so little to show for it.

That's the Dallas Cowboys in a nutshell.  Seriously, ONE YEAR out of the Goodell doghouse under the right circumstances (last year would've worked fine!), and Jerreh has another Lombardi.

He's got the biggest ratings needle-mover in the league and the most profitable and valuable franchise in the NFL, which also moves the most merch.

So why, in this age of the NFL, does he have nothing to show for it for a quarter century?  Because if there's one man who is less competent to run a franchise which has all of those qualities in it, it's Jerry Jones.  Seriously.  He doesn't get, to the extent feasible, that the NFL does want a champion worthy of representing the league as champion – something Jerry's Cowboys have been unable to meet.

New York Giants:  And then you have this on the other end of the spectrum.  And it's not like the injury bug has been kind to them during the training camp and preseason.

Daniel Jones, at some point, has either gotta justify his place as a first-round drafted quarterback, or all the anger at the Giants and former GM Dave Gettleman will be justified.  His clock is definitely running, and probably, sadly, going to run out.

Philadelphia Eagles:  Sounds like this team is going to try to “meh” it's way past the Cowboys and try to lay claim to be this year's Cincinnati in the event “least bad” hits the table as a sentient Super Bowl option.  Given the current state of the NFL, that's not a bad thing.

Washington Commanders:  At least they aren't Daniel Snyder.  About the only real highlight the Commanders are going to have this year is if someone actually dives into the Snyder e-mail trove and we find out what they have.

Dallas:  The upskirt lawsuit probably prevents a long run.
Philadelphia:  Is there if the NFL needs them, at whatever level.
NY Giants and Washington:  Just... no.

NFC NORTH

Chicago Bears:  It isn't really a taunt song with these guys:  The Bears really do Still Suck.

When you can piss away the defense Chicago had with Khalil Mack and all, that's indicative you have structural problems on a franchise level.

Detroit Lions:  Unless you are a fan of another team, this is actually a team I would think a lot of people would hope are on the come.  As poor as their record was last year, it was clear it was not due to lack of trying or nobody wanting to win.  This isn't “Tank for Tua” or anything like that.  This might be the year a couple of those tight losses turn to wins, and then, coming up, as the landscape of the NFC changes...

This team wants to win.  Badly.  Keep an eye on this.

Green Bay Packers:  Aaron Rodgers is a conniving MAGAt.

And, as a result, if there's one team in the NFL who might look for the Red Tsunami (and one key injury) to do more this season than any other, it's Green Bay.

They have the defense, they have the Q-rating...  But they gutted the receiving corps.  Some guys are going to have something to prove.  But, as usual with the Pack and COVIDIOT-12, they also have one big fat roadblock.  I guess, not, really, two.  San Francisco seems to have their number too in key games.

Minnesota Vikings:  A lot of people think if Green Bay takes the requisite amount backwards, this is the team to pick it up.  And the Vikings have the prime spot to get the first shot in – the last time Green Bay sat it's starters fir the preseason, they were eaten alive in Week 1.

Packers at Vikings, Week 1.  We will see, but the Vikes have to strike when the iron is hot.

Chicago:  Nope.
Detroit:  Not there yet, but...
Green Bay:  Rural America's Team?
Minnesota:  Has a chance.  Will they take it?

NFC SOUTH:

Atlanta Falcons:  When you basically commit such a lay down, in the Super Bowl, that it might well last in the annals of the league, that's a franchise-killer.

Since 28-3, they have had one winning season, one playoff win, and with an over-under of 4.5 wins, are basically being forecast into the first hour of the 2023 NFL Draft.

And with a roster of cast-offs and “Who Cares?” jobs, it really is no surprise.

Carolina Panthers:  Another team of a bunch of people you really have real question as to how they're in the NFL or still in the NFL.  When your acquisition to get a name at the head of the table goes down with a knee for the first 4-6 on top of it...  Yeah, this is going to be another wasted season in Carolina.

New Orleans Saints:  Alvin Kamara, Marcus Maye (now TWICE), DeRapeis...  Yeah, this is going to be a team the NFL is going to want to go places...

Tampa Bay Buccaneers:  I think I've gotten more heat from readers this year that Tom Brady lives rent-free in my head.  I get it, and I get why:  This guy has BEEN the NFL since 9/11.  And then he purported to retire – and now Keith Olbermann is finding sources that Gisele DID have something to do with it.

So why does he come back?  Especially with a rumored FOX broadcasting contract worth THREE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FIVE MILLION DOLLARS when he hangs it up.

Figure it out.  If he's upright and nobody disgraces the league AB style, this +700 to win the Super Bowl is a GIFT.  This league gave fucking Murderer Ray-Ray one on the way out.  They gave Peyton Manning one on the way out.  They gave JEROME BETTIS one on the way out.  You don't think, given the chance...

And, here's more:  Gisele may divorce him over this season.  There is now serious discussion that Brady even thinking of playing this year has actually triggered a possible separation in the marriage.  And you really want to think Tom Brady wasn't promised everything under the sun for one more year on the field with his PED-ladened ass?

Seriously??

He doesn't even need to play every game.  Just enough to get the Bucs in the playoffs, he takes an injury or “time off”, and then we get the entire Peyton Manning Party all over again!

Tampa Bay:  Should be the odds-on Super Bowl favorite.
The others...:  HOO BOY.

NFC WEST

Arizona Cardinals:  If they weren't out in the middle of freaking nowhere, this would be a team with promising prospects.  Of course, how many years have we said this???

This is basically Green Bay, but with the amount of fans, rather than the geographic issues.  It already had Pittsburgh go over them in a Super Bowl and various losses to put more preferred at least Jobbers To The Stars over them.

Now, the questions of the health at the core of the team are quite loud.  Kyler Murray is hurt and there are real questions as to his dedication.  Everyone from the current star wide receiver to the future star wideout they traded for on Draft Night to the running backs coach may be in trouble with the NFL before too damn long.

And you know what that means.  It means a trip to the “Wheel of Fortune” Bankrupt Whistle.

Los Angeles Rams:  Almost certainly the best team in the NFC on a shoot basis, with three of the top nine NFL players on the NFL 100 list this year.  (But evidence to the “rent-free” and what I say about the NFL rigging their Super Bowls:  Tom Brady was their #1, not Aaron Donald.)

Of course, there is at least one bend in the armor, a major practice incident involving Donald in which, had he done that in a game, he probably sits at least five!!  That's the kind of thing, given the chance, and you get “Kupp Caught It” or something to that effect in the playoffs.

San Francisco 49ers:  Well, they'll keep Jimmy G this year.  That might indicate they aren't ready for the next step yet.  And for a team who actually has been the Achilles heel of the major NFC Jobber To The Stars and it's star, MAGA COVIDIOT-12, that says something.

It does appear, though, that this at least gives the 49ers something most teams in their position would die for:  Some breathing room at the main position.  So, again, “least bad???”...

Seattle Seahawks:  No Legion, No Wilson, No... Chance.  This is going to be a real build job again, and that's pretty much the end of that discussion.

Arizona:  Get ready to get screwed.
Los Angeles:  Possibly the same, possibly not.
San Francisco:  Another one of those teams you keep in the back pocket...  just in case.
Seattle:  Yet another of those NFC teams on the distant outside looking in.

Unlike the AFC, the NFC, you actually have serious trouble finding seven decent teams.  Dallas, Green Bay, Tampa Bay, LA, SF, and...  and....