Monday, September 11, 2023

2023 NFL Week One Score Report (in full) and After Further Review (Part "One"):

Er.  Mah.  Gerd.

That Monday nighter had fingerprints all over it.

First, "Damar Hamlin" is a "healthy scratch".  cough

Then, literally on the first Jets series, Aaron Rodgers takes a blindside sack, down for a bit.  Gets up, realizes bad trouble, is carted off.  Done for at least several weeks, and that's if the fear isn't true:  Torn Achilles.

If that's the case, career over.

And you have no idea how happy many in Green Bay who had to suffer through about three or so years of sabotage were.

But then two plays appeared to make it look like they were going to go ahead with Road To Damar anyway:

First play of the second quarter, the game is 3-0 Buffalo.  Josh Allen is sacked, and the ball is punched out for an apparent strip-and-score.  Refs blew the whistle, though -- Allen arm-punts two plays later.  A long run gets a field goal to tie the game, so that costs the Jets four points.

Four more are cost on the only Bills touchdown of the night:




That, friends, is a blatant illegal forward pass.

And it now looks like the Bills are going to cruise with zebra help.

Then the game slows to a halt.  It's 13-6 with about four minutes to go in regulation:
  • Zach Wilson gets his one touchdown pass of the night to tie the game.
  • Immediate Bills fumble, and two series later a field goal gets one Cliffhanger at 16-13 Jets.
  • Then the Bills drive the field, ball in the air at the regulation gun for a tying field goal, 16-16.
  • Bills get the ball, go three and out...
  • ... and an NFL first.  Xavier Gipson, with the first overtime walk-off punt return for a touchdown for the Triple Cliffhanger and the Jets win anyway!!
Which led Brian Tuohy to charge:



This after coming up with an idea as to why this probably happened:




I have a feeling I will have more to say on this game later.

It was one of the few highlights of a very dull Week One:
  • 41 points a game, the lowest since I started the blog in 2011.
    • For the first 15 games, the fewest touchdowns in Week One since 2006.
  • The Over, not surprisingly, went 4-12 as a result.
    • And that's with only four games out of the 16 which kicked with a Vegas total over 45.  And one was 45.5, another 46.5.
  • Home teams were 6-10.
  • Favorites were 6-9 against the number and 8-7 straight up.  Cleveland-Cincinnati kicked a pick.
  • Only two Cliffhangers total, the only other one Miami's win over the Chargers -- Tua Time at 1:45.  And probably zero coincidence that they are probably the two games the league fucked around with the most.    
  • Half of the 16 games were within one score.
  • Five were non-competitive, never within one score in the 4th quarter.
  • And only two Last Chance Misses.
  • Team with more penalties was 6-6.
  • 209 penalties means 13.1 per game.
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