2023 NFL Week Three Political Rankings

Well, I think we have our indisputable first real thought of a Super Bowl contender, and it's the defending champs.

More correctly, it could be the new Power Couple of the NFL and Entertainment, Chiefs Tight End Travis Kelce and Miss Legs herself, Taylor Swift.

I could've sworn that a college player for the University of Oklahoma confirmed "hanging out" with Swift a couple weeks back, but it sounds like the various high-end corporate bullshitters who want to see high-economy millionaires cross-breed have gotten Swift firmly in the corner of Travis Kelce.

So much so, Miss Legs was seen in the owners' box in Arrowhead for the farce of a game with USFL team The Chicago Bears (and a date, of sorts, afterward).  And, even though there was a real chance someone rolled up the ankle of Patrick Mahomes before halftime of a 34-0 game at the half, Mahomes wasn't pulled until the league and all the news and entertainment outlets got their Taylor Swift fix when Kelce scored a third-quarter touchdown reception from Mahomes.

Mahomes also admitted that the Kelce-Swift partnership did play into pressure on him to make Kelce look good during the game.

And now, let the drooling -- and not even that at Swift's concert outfits -- commence.  You KNOW the NFL is gonna play HARD into this one.

AFC:

1) Kansas City

See above.

2) Miami

About the one thing which could stunt a clear path to #1 for Tua and 70 points against another USFL team in the Denver Broncos happened.  If there's anything else other than an NFL/Entertainment Power Couple this week, Tua and Miami are #1 Political in the AFC easy.  I mean, the NFL wants Tua to go big, but...

3) Buffalo if "Damar Hamlin" ever sees the field.  Cleveland if not.

That's three weeks now.  Can you even get someone who you might pass off as Hamlin or not?

And, the other way, DeRapist Rapist is putting up some wins over there in Cleveland.  Just saying....

AFC DUD OF THE WEEK:

Don't need to even get to Monday night to get this winner.  THE ENVER BRONCOS.  (No D.)

That is such an embarrassment, someone needed to be fired 9 AM MDT this morning on the defensive staff.  That is the most points a team has given up in an NFL game in six decades, and the highest total in an NFL game in almost five years.

At some point, someone needs to start asking some real questions about some of these performances, vis-a-vis that some of these teams are so suck-ass, they aren't professional teams!!

NFC:  

1) San Francisco 

A pretty clear path to #1, especially because of the non-ejection of Trent Williams near halftime on Thursday night.

2) Philadelphia

The two front-runners have taken a clear lead on everyone else.

NFC DUD OF THE WEEK:

It's low-hanging fruit, but there's no choice either...  A BEARS (No D.)

Roger Goodell needs to investigate this franchise.  Top to bottom, without exception, on and off the field.

It's dripping out on Matt Williams little by little, and nothing has pretty much dissuaded this entire discussion.  Then you have a six-figure theft of groundskeeping equipment...  And then this performance, with a late first-half rollup on Mahomes' leg being the only reason Fuck Andy Reid didn't go for 73 himself!

And next Sunday in the early slot:  Enver vs. A Bears.  Can the NFL cancel the game because neither team is up to the professional standards the NFL needs to uphold?