Jake the Asshole missed the Saints' Mark Ingram II deliberately going out of bounds to aid in Tom Brady's comeback on Monday night -- which might well have been the Rigged Play of the Year (or close -- it's definitely on the list!), but we'll start with his Top Ten...
10) Vikings-Jets. 6 1/2 minutes to go in the first half, 10-3 Minnesota. Initial defender completely whiffs on the coverage, and, by the time the ball gets to the receiver (Jalen Reagor), he SHOULD BE double-covered. But watch carefully to see what the supposed "defenders" actually do. The ball ends up underthrown, and both defenders basically Wile E. Coyote out of the catch so that the receiver can receive the ball. The result was a gain of 36 yards on the play. Drive resulted in a touchdown and a 17-3 Minnesota lead.
It reminds me of that Aaron Rodgers "Hail Mary" in Detroit, where it was clear that a clear "halo" was being given the Packers' receiver so he could catch the ball.
9) Commanders-Giants. 1st and 10, Washington, at the Giant 28. Two guys badly whiff (Jake believes intentionally -- it's basically one of his three go-tos, and you'll see at least a second of them before the Top Ten is over)...
Oh, did I mention that it was in the last two minutes of regulation and the Heineke-Dotson pass was the tying touchdown, and the final points of the 20-20 draw?
8) Dolphins-49ers. Looks like the first play after a touchback on the 25 for the Dolphins. 1:53 to go in the game, 26-17 San Francisco. Tua drops back, and just gets destroyed in the pocket. He's sacked at the 18, but the ball is ruled fumbled, with four Dolphins just standing around with their fingers up their butts!
Even the high-school team my brother played on basically made it clear that a scream of "FUMBLE!" was to be made on plays like this, and everyone converging on the ball.
But the key is to watch #75 for Miami, Ereck Flowers, and he actually swerves and runs AWAY FROM THE FUMBLE. Touchdown San Francisco, Tua is injured on the play, and there you go.
7) Here's the second go-to, Return of the Doink. 48-yard field goal attempt for the Patriots against Buffalo, 17-7 Buffalo right at the end of the first half.
So how does the kicker, with the flags still (watch closely) kick a 48-yard attempt short off the crossbar?
I have one problem with this, however: If this were magnets, would the magnetic field which would need to be generated have to be so strong that fans in that end of the stadium would notice, due to interference with their cellphones, etc.?
(Points, however, that Jake is getting the beats together to Mark Morrison's "Return of the Mack", on which Jake bases the "Return of the Doink" song.)
6) The Mack returns again, but in reverse. Steelers-Falcons, one of two made 46 yard field goals for Matthew Wright -- this one caroms off the right upright and goes in -- when it's clear the ball is headed well right and then just unnaturally stops, doinks, and caroms in.
I do think that the league is getting somewhat wise to some of us catching them on the "double-kink" field goal, but the whole obsession with the "doinks" (starting with that Double Doink to eliminate a team from the playoffs a couple of years or so back) has just gotten completely out of hand!
5) Rams-Seahawks, with some rig-a-roni with a side of baloney. (May have to steal that one.)
3rd and 7 for Seattle from the LA 36. Six-ish minutes to go, first quarter, Rams up 7-0.
Receiver is 5 yards wide open at the LA 21, and then the tackling debacles begin. Result is a touchdown for Tyler Lockett to make the game 7-7.
4) Browns-Texans. First play after a touchback for Houston at the 25. 9 1/2 minutes to go in the game, 17-8 Cleveland.
Jake is thinking "safety-valve" to a receiver who is open, but the quarterback is looking for something else. He then (they want you to think) tries to check down, but instead of going over the charging pass-rusher, he basically throws a sidearm into one of his arms, it's picked off, pick-six touchdown for the Browns.
And does anyone else find it suspicious that, in DeRapist Rapist's return, the Browns score 3 offensive points and get three defensive/special-teams touchdowns to win 27-14?
Keep an eye on this, as the Browns have a very serviceable schedule the rest of the way.
3) Rams-Seahawks, and the game-clinching interception. 4th and 21 from the Rams 15, 20 seconds left, Rams need a touchdown to win.
One problem: To what receiver was the quarterback trying to throw? WAS THERE a receiver to which the quarterback was trying to throw?
So not only did the quarterback throw the pick, but it was also in the center of the field (20 seconds left!!!), and there wasn't a receiver within TEN YARDS OF THE BALL.
That is professional wrestling "he made a rookie mistake" the jobber putting his head down to get smacked to start the run to the finisher for the name wrestler there.
2) Bills-Patriots. 3rd and goal from the 8 for the Bills. 5 1/2 minutes to go in the first half, Bills up 10-7.
Jake is thinking the NFL wants to make Josh Allen look good (kinda important if they wanna push the Bills, don'tcha think?).
So not only does the pass-rusher completely whiff on the sack (without much real play by Allen), but the ball eventually goes to a receiver with three possible defenders on him. There are definitely two of them who could at least jump the route to the extent of batting the ball away. Nope, touchdown for Gabe Davis.
1) Jake has an affinity for punt plays, and, instead of the blatant Mark Ingram II one for New Orleans to start the Tom Bradys' comeback on Monday Night, he selects this one from Cleveland-Houston, the punt return touchdown. Remember, the Browns got a fumble return TD, an interception pick-six, and a punt return TD for their three TD's on the game, as I discussed before.
So why is this his #1 Rigged Play of the Week? One tackler whiffs and falls, the second tackle is broken. A third defender just piles into the other two without even getting close to the returner. Another missed tackle, two more are blocked, and no one can make a play on him, and he's off to the races.
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A number of people are also pointing to a rise in apparent faked injuries in the NFL this season -- even though the NFL has said they will no less than take draft picks from teams if they actually catch them doing it (and this penalty has been on the books a number of years!).
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BTW, Mark Ingram II's actual words on that play:
"Im sick about this one. Regardless of circumstances or how I feel I have to get that fresh set of downs for the squad. I apologize to my teammates my coaches and my city for a crucial mistake. We work way too hard and sacrifice blood sweat and tears. I will be better."
Hint: No you won't.
When you have Barfstool actually publicly come out and demand a sports-bribery investigation (something usually left to people such as myself in similar situations!), that tells you something...
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