Somebody is going to have to honor this guy...

Something big happened today.

It's not on the ESPN Front Page.

It's not on the ESPN NFL page at all!!

So discussion on the injuries of Week Four, that the Cleveland Indians avoided chicken and beer in their run to the Play-In Game, etc. and so forth, was more important than this.

So, we go over to SI.com...

You literally have to go about 80% down the NFL page's headlines, below the injury reports, below the fact that a Houston fan bought a Matt Schaub jersey and burned it, below that the A's in the playoffs has moved the Raider game this week to some absurd overnight slot on the East Coast...

... to find out that no less than L.C. Greenwood of the famed "Steel Curtain" died this morning at the age of 67.

This isn't a schlub who was in the league for a cup of coffee...

This was one of the baddest asses in the league in the 1970's.

And you disrespect his legacy and the legacy of the "Steel Curtain" like this...

Really...

So why so little coverage?  The coroner hasn't released any information, at least according to SI.com, of cause of death.

What, does his death, compiled with a lot of the others, soil your beautiful minds that you can't enjoy the games so much without being worried someone might die from Dashon Goldson's next little stupidity (which will probably come in Week 6 -- Tampa Bay has a bye next week...)??

Why so little coverage?  Did Roger Goodell order this covered up in the "NFL News of the Week" because he doesn't want his little fan-minions even thinking of the players as human beings anymore??

Really...

You disrespect him and the legacy of the "Steel Curtain" by doing that, so you know.

Oh, that's right, it's before ESPN launched -- it doesn't exist...

Blat...

Fine Blotter, Week Four, Part Zero: The Double Standards Continue

Dashon Goldson did it again!!!

About two minutes to go in the fourth quarter of a 13-10 loss to Arizona that sent Tampa Bay to 0-4, Dashon Goldson just picked up his third fine of the season, almost certainly.

ANOTHER HELMET-TO-HELMET FOUL.

It takes several replays to show the helmet, but it's another one of those "headbutts to the jaw" that we've been seeing more and more over the course of the last few years.

So the $100,000 he got didn't stick?  This guy, alone, is going to put Tampa Bay in Level 3.  Anything $50K or up is going to mean that Goldson, ALONE, is responsible for $130,000 of the buffer to the Player Remittance Policy.  The only question is, with Tampa's other fines, is Tampa, now, on the hook for dollar-for-dollar for Goldson's entire fine or just the first $50K or so.

Get this idiot off the field.  Four-game suspension at least...  That's three of these fines in four weeks, about his tenth Player Safety fine in his career...

Get him off the field or someone dies, by accident on Goldson's part or by his design.

They love keeping you on the edge of your seats, don't they?

6 games within a touchdown or less.

That makes 34 of the first 62 NFL contests this year a touchdown or less of margin.

Cliffhanger Index (games decided by a score in the final two minutes or OT):  Only 2 so far.  Total of 15 -- right about the average for the NFL.

El Stupido, The Even Next Part: What is Wrong With This Picture, SI.com?

(Hat-tip, once again, anonymous friend...)

SI.com, tonight, before it gets yanked, had this in their news headlines links section:



Please note the one link I had ready to click...

Someone might want to see a bit of baseball history...

Not only was tonight the last game of Andy Pettitte's career in baseball, but it would also be (according to SI.com) the first shutout in history in which the opposing team actually scored!!!

If you were to click the link (not in the image above), you'd find out that Pettitte and the Yankees did defeat the single-A Houston Astros tonight, 2-1.

El Stupido, The Next Part: The Fail Mary, and the official who almost died because of it...

I have no problems with any sports outlet (this one was ESPN's) doing a one-year retrospective of the Fail Mary.

What I DO have a problem with (and not necessarily because of ESPN!) was what they started with.

The clip about the incident centers on one of the replacement referees, and the death threats he got from Packer fans and Packer bettors after that debacle:

The first message:

"I hope you die in a fucking car crash.  I hope you die in...  [unintelligible]  I hope your wife fucking dies and all your pets die and, if you have any kids, I hope they die."

(Obviously not a reader of this blog -- I told people before last season began that the Packers were going to get fucked at some point in the equation!  And, yes, that game cost the Packers plenty -- a bye in the first round at least...)

The narrator says the situation best, in honor of Packer-fan and Packer-bettor falling to complete El Stupido levels:

"There are bad calls, and there are dangerous calls..."

Then, the second message, from a person who laid serious money on the game:

"I will never let this go...  FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!  I promise I will get my money."

(Dude...  I know I get upset when I lose a few bucks, but that's usually because I feel more effort could be given.  Two Protips for El Stupido and the five large:  1) If you aren't taking into account league biases and the possibility that the referees have to get out of the building alive in some places like Seattle (replacement referees, no less!!!), you aren't paying attention at your bankroll's peril.  2)  That anyone felt the Packers merited being 3.5 point favorites in Seattle may have also needed a wake-up call.)

The video is actually a great picture of how this guy, Lance Easley, became not only an NFL replacement referee, but the center of probably the worst call in American sports since the Armando Galarraga perfect game...

Easley gives a great description of the abject confusion.  This is where the play simply should have been punted (quite literally) to the upstairs official, equivalent to the concept of the TMO (Television Match Official) in Rugby.

And then that moment:  Easley makes the call of touchdown, his partner in the end zone calls time out.

Now, as I've said, this is pretty much the moment you know the league is going to enforce a narrative (Seattle wins!!) -- however you slice it, whatever the motive actually is.  The key moment is that the instant that Easley calls the touchdown, the announcers for ESPN in the booth do as well, even though it is clear that there is abject and complete confusion (so much so, South Park lampooned the mess a few days later in their "Sarcasta-ball" episode...  "Aw, fuck it.  It's a fucking field goal!!") because the other referee materially called a touchback.

This, about 24 hours after Baltimore defeated New England with a field goal at the gun which was probably missed!!!

And here's the stupidest thing of all (other than the death threats):  THE GUY GOT A BOOK DEAL OUT OF THE DEBACLE!!

Although you do get one final payoff with the video:  He still believes the call he made on that fateful night in Seattle was the correct one...

*sigh*

Nucking Futs: We've Gone Crazy, and here's numerous examples how...

• (Hat-tip to my anonymous friend on this first one.)  The Jacksonville Jaguars may just have hit rock-bottom.  They have just pulled something out of the debut of Michigan J. Frog on December 31, 1955...  They have resorted to advertising for free beer at their games if they can just get a few people to masquerade as Jaguar fans for three hours at a time.  This was part of a Twitter promotion over a three-hour period Thursday for this Sunday's tilt with Indianapolis...  Oh dear God...  10-Cent Beer Night, anyone?
• EA Sports is now officially out of the college-football video-game business (at least, for now).  EA simultaneously announced a settlement (late sources are saying in the area of about $40,000,000 -- pennies, frankly, as many would suggest) with the Ed O'Bannon class action on compensation for player likeness, and also announced that this year's NCAA Football 14 would be the last edition.  This is if you believe the NCAA (the only remaining defendant) is going to lose, in a catastrophic manner, the main O'Bannon lawsuit.  It might well be only wishful thinking on my part, frankly.  A compelling argument is made that, if a couple sports fans (read:  losers and dupes) are put on the jury if this goes to trial, and told politely that there will be no more March Madness if the NCAA loses (even with a $750M/year television deal, not implausible, given the desire to take the major conferences and create an NCAA division consisting solely of them), that the NCAA, at worst, gets the NFL treatment vis-a-vis the USFL.  Stay tuned.
• Fuck the two San Francisco Giants fans on Third and Harrison a couple of nights ago.  FUCK -- YOU -- HARD.  You'd think we'd have learned by now, after the Brian Stow incident in Los Angeles, not to take the fucking Giants-Dodgers rivalry so fucking seriously.  Why all the expletives??  Because a Dodger fan has now DIED in San Francisco because of the rivalry.  Jonathan Denver (ironically, the son of a security guard for the Dodgers!) was killed on Third and Harrison Streets near the Giants' ballpark.  I can say, from experience, that's not the safest area of town most any time.  A suspect is in custody and will be charged with homicide.

Excuse me, I need to rant now.  I'll pick up the list in a second:

WHEN ARE WE GOING TO FUCKING LEARN???

I mean, dear God...  This is supposed to be an escape.  This is supposed to be...  OH, I DON'T KNOW...  FUN???

I posted this video for a reason.  It is a homage to the oldest rivalry in the Neanderthug Felon League.

But, even in the song, is the following part of a verse, which Giant-fan now needs to take as seriously as Dodger-fan should've (and may well have!) after the Stow incident:

"We don't really hold a grudge 'cause this is all in fun...
 As far as football rivalries, we're both Number One..."

(Then, a playful stab at seeing Mike Ditka get run over by a truck, but I think one SHOULD be able to tell that was in fun too!)

Every team has it's rival.  Every Harvard, it's Yale...  Every Stanford, it's Cal...  Etc., and so on, and so forth...

WHY THE FUCK DO WE KILL EACH OTHER OVER THIS BULLSHIT?  That's the kind of stuff we slam the unwashed over in Europe for!!

And it really seems like these were, more truly, hooligans.  It's apparent they didn't even attend the damn game in the first damn place!!

But, oh, let the talking of shit begin, and out come the knives.

That's more what we claim to be better than...  Stuff like this:

(And that's 2013 video -- it's gotten no better over the years.)

Now, you've got a guy who can't even enjoy the Dodgers getting a shot at the World Series.

HE'S DEAD!

Because two Giants fans had to bring out the knives after the talking of shit was not enough!!

Back to the list before I have an aneurysm:

• Two more deaths before their time in the NFL this week.  Days after the death of Damon James due to a helmet-to-helmet hit (the school's season has been ended as a result), we got one former NFL player dead due to a heart attack, we lose Paul Oliver, formerly of the Chargers, to suicide.  And every damn time we see these players go far too early, the thought of repeated blows to the head and CTE comes to the table!
• And then this gem of insanity:  If you were an NFL player and died before 2006, you get no money from the concussion lawsuit.  More and more every day, $750 million (about one NFL week's worth of profits" of "Go The Fuck Away"!
• Thank God for one sane coach.  Utah high-school football coach Matt Labrum (Union High School, Lawrence, UT) terminated the football program (at least temporarily) for team-wide disciplinary issues including cyber-bullying.  I know, Mr. Labrum, that the last thing you want this to be about is you.  The "problem" with that is that this is so unheard of (and so deserved in a massive number of schools) in the day and age where the sole existence of the high school is the enforcement of a hierarchy toward the football team and the community rallying around same.  Stubenville?  Penn State??  (OK, that's not a high school, but same difference!)  You've not only done the right thing, you just made yourself a lot of enemies in that town.  My remaining and continuing concern is that this goes far beyond the football team and you've got an "unable to proceed in education" situation in that school.
• Bud Selig retiring next year?  Many years too late!!  Na na na na...

Score Update and Fine Blotter for Week 3

Score Update:

Week 3 average:  46.3125, about three-quarters of a point up from last year.  Highest Week 3 since 2008.

3 Week Scoring Average:  45.23, still almost 2 1/2 points down from last year.

And now to the other half of the desk, The Fine Blotter for Week 3:

• Cincinnati Bengals:  Vontaze Burfict is now a TWO-TIME LOSER for a double-shot vs. Green Bay.  $31,000 total.  $21,000 for a defenseless receiver, and another $10,000 for nailing a tight end in the family jewels.
• Seattle Seahawks:  Golden Tate is at it again, another $21,000 for another defenseless player infraction.  Seems to get a lot of those -- for a WIDE RECEIVER...
• Carolina Panthers:  Well, the report from Forbes finally nailed him:  Cam Newton was caught by Forbes Magazine wearing clips from Under Armour on his helmet.  That is a violation of the league's uniform policy, and Newton has been fined $10,000 as a result.  Newton's beginning to walk into Repeat Offender status as well -- that's his third Player Remittance offense since Week 16 of last year.
• Speaking of Repeat Offenders:  Detroit Lions:  Had a feeling we'd see Nick Fairley's name after an unnecessary roughness call last week.  That one dings him $10,000.  (No word yet on the appeal of Suh's $100,000 fine -- though Suh was neither fined nor suspended for a probable elbow he threw at a guy's helmet in Week Two.)  That's TWO-TIME LOSER for Fairley (pre-season offense was the other)  That's at least his fourth in less than two calendar years since he got off his rookie-year injury.
• Pittsburgh Steelers:  Jonathan Dwyer is the second victim of the new "can't battering ram with your head" rule -- $21,000, just like last week's.
• Another for the Steelers:  Antonio Brown, a late hit on a defensive player after an interception, $7,875.
• *sigh*  Dallas Cowboys:  Dez Bryant:  $7,875 for a throat-slash touchdown celebration.  Is anyone going to get this guy under control?  ANYONE?   Bueller??  Bueller???
• Philadelphia Eagles:  Alex Henery:  $15,750 for a horse-collar tackle.  What makes this worse??  HE'S THEIR KICKER!!!
• Houston Texans:  Whitney Mercilus:  $15,750 for a helmet-to-helmet on Joe Flacco.

Information on those from the weekly NFL.com listings.

These are from other sources, including the normal footballsfuture.com forum listings:

• Cincinnati Bengals:  Another fine in the Packer game.  George Iloka said he "played for free" after he got fined $15,750 for concussing Jermichael Finley.  As several sports sources have noted, this is the second consecutive week a Packer player was eliminated by a fine-level hit with a concussion -- that was not called in the game.  There were four other incidents (two for each team) in that game which could have drawn fines, but did not.
• Tennessee Titans:  A scuffle broke out, which broke out into a war of words between the Titans' Moise Fukou and San Diego's Jeromey Clary.  Fukou was fined $7,875 for punching Clary...
• San Diego Chargers:  ... and Clary was fined $7,875 for essentially trying to take Fukou's arm home with him.

AS A RESULT:

• Tennessee Titans:  Have reached the Level 2 threshhold with Fukou's fine.  That costs the team an extra $50,000.  Tennessee becomes the third team so sanctioned.

Surprisingly (especially to Terrelle Pryor), that appears to be the extent of it so far.

To date:              $1,109,625
Week 3:             $   171,750  (so far, will update if needed)
Titans Level 2:    $     50,000
Total:                  $1,331,375

Absolute Capitulation

“Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.” – H. L. Mencken.


Mark Emmert threw in the towel today.


He threw in the towel, declaring defeat to the football culture at Penn State University, but, also, to far more than that.


This morning (September 24), Mark Emmert took the first steps to neuter the unprecedented penalties to Penn State University for it's complicit role in the child rape and pedophilia spree Jerry Sandusky carried on under cover of the Penn State football program.


Starting next year, Penn State was only allowed 65 scholarships for football. The new “penalty” has it at 75 next year, 80 in 2015, and back to 85 in 2016. There is a possibility the bowl ban may go away after this season.


Basically, most people says it's the NCAA admitting it over-reached.


I'm sorry. Fuck you if you believe that.


Any sanctioning body must have the ultimate Power of Zot to deal with anything that goes so far beyond the pale that it basically falls under “conduct detrimental to sport” – or to any human decency.

As far as I, personally, am concerned, the cover-up (up to and probably including the disappearance/murder of an investigating district attorney and now two sources indicating that boys were being shopped to pedophilic donors to Penn State's football program) makes Penn State University a co-participant in pedophilia and child rape.


That said, though, I think there is a larger message here. To find it, we have to go back 24 hours.


Mark Emmert, in an apparently-unrelated statement, said that Division I, as it is presently governed, will die this year. Meetings in October and January will examine a complete re-draw of Division I, probably meaning at least a recognized split (before it becomes a non-NCAA breakaway) of the money conferences and schools.


It does appear that the money conferences (the Big Five remaining top-level football conferences) will probably form their own division next year. Whether that division simply is for football, though, is unclear. It is quite probable that this year could be the final March Madness basketball tournament in present form.


Now, juxtapose that to Penn State and today's announcement, and it becomes clear:


The NCAA will not survive long enough, vis-a-vis governance of Penn State University's athletic programs within the Big Ten Conference, to see the end of the four-year bowl ban.


By the end of the 2015 football season, the conferences, spurred by a probable massive defeat of the NCAA to the O'Bannon lawsuit, will probably end up having to form loose confederations, such as the BCS now, to govern college sports.


The day and age of amateur college sports is over.


The day and age of an independent sanctioning body for such, ditto.


You're even, now, seeing players put patches with “APU” (for “All Players United”) on their uniforms to protest the NCAA.


Only an idiot would probably not see what's coming: Not only is the NCAA going to lose a bankruptcy-level verdict in the O'Bannon lawsuit, but the governance model which follows will not only force the players to be paid salaries by the universities (yes, making them employees thereof, instead of true students), but also, then, that the college athletes (whether in just an individual given sport or across what collegiate athletics would be post-NCAA) will then become unionized, just as their professional counterparts are in the major sports.


And ESPN especially -- and the other sports networks to lesser extents -- will have a large voice as to who plays who when.


Yes, the capitulation to Penn State and the culture of football there is angering.

The problem is that it is now even apparent to the President of the NCAA that he and his organization are dead to rights.


There will be no NCAA within three years. There MAY (and this is in question!) be a sanctioning body for non-revenue producing (D2, D3, NAIA-ish) schools for their athletics.


But I fully expect the five major D1 conferences (the ACC, SEC, Big 10, Big XII, and Pac-12) to break away completely (the split in D1 might delay this a year, but the O'Bannon verdict will finish anything left over) and create a “BCS” confederation for all sports.

More bullshit to call on the NFL...

How is Von Miller not banned from the NFL for life?

We just found out today why Von Miller actually got a 6-game suspension:  It appears to be an aggravator on the basis that Miller is believed to have attempted to cheat the drug test.

ESPN (and other sources pointing to the ESPN report) indicate that Von Miller enlisted the help of the league's own urine collector to evade the test by diluting the sample.

If this is true, will someone please explain to me why this shithead isn't thrown out of the NFL entirely?  (and he and the urine collector, maybe, brought up on charges???)

Oh, that's right...  Von Miller is a football (*breathes in through nose*) gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhd...  So only the urine collector will take the hit.

I don't care if the collector (who has been fired) was involved.  The simple act that Miller was trying to do this is sufficient.  Throw his ass out too.

Brian made note of something, so I'll update it:

With this game heading that direction (Sunday nighter:  Chicago-Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh with 13 unanswered to cut 27-10 to 27-23, now 33-23 Chicago after a reversed replay call), another 6 of the first 14 games this week were decided by 7 points or less.

This makes 28 out of the first 46 NFL games this season to be so done.

Cliffhanger Index for this week?  3.  Total of 13.  And the Sunday nighter was heading that direction!

(Key word:  WAS.  40-23 now, and that appears like it might be the final.)

That quit-job by the Giants was not the only disgrace by New York today in the NFL...

Gonna be a busy week for the Player Safety police of the NFL...

Although only three of these penalties might be actionable (and at least a couple probably will be), the New York Jets gave one of the worst performances in NFL history.

According to the NFL, the Jets, today, became only the seventh team in NFL history, and the first in fifteen years, to commit 20 penalties in the game.

These included:

• 4 Offensive Holding
• 4 Procedure (I lump all formation and motion fouls into Procedure)
• 4 Offside Penalties
• 3 Pass Interference (1 offensive)
• 1 Delay of Game
• 1 Illegal Contact
• and the 3 which might be actionable?  A face mask and two personal fouls...

Anyhow, here's the worst part:  THEY WON.  27-20 over that masquerade of an NFL franchise out of Buffalo.

So, that leads to the question:  Of the other six, how many won:

According to nfl.com record book's penalty page, here are the other six teams who committed 20 penalties or more in a game, and, looking them up on Pro Football Reference, the result of those games.

•  October 17, 1976:  In their sixth NFL game, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers committed 20 penalties in a 13-10 loss to the Seattle Seahawks.  (Seattle committed 15.  The total of 35 is NOT the NFL record for combined penalties.  It is second, though.)
• December 15, 1996:  Not surprisingly when you think about it, the Oakland Raiders committed 20 penalties in their rivalry game against Denver.  (The two teams play the Monday nighter this week.)  The Raiders lost 24-19.  (Denver committed 10.)
• November 25, 1951:  The Cleveland Browns committed 21 penalties, out of the most-penalized game in the history of the NFL, against the Chicago Bears.  THEY WON, 42-21.  The Bears, in committing 16, combined with them for 37 penalties and 374 penalty yards in that game.
• September 17, 1944:  The now-defunct Brooklyn Tigers set an NFL record for most penalties in a game with 22 against the Green Bay Packers.  Brooklyn lost, 14-7.  That winless season would be the last for the Brooklyn Tigers in the NFL.
• That same year, November 26, 1944:  The Chicago Bears tied that NFL record with 22 penalties against the Philadelphia Eagles.  THEY WON, 28-7, for Philadelphia's only loss that season.
• October 4, 1998:  The 49ers tied that dubious mark, with 22 penalties, versus Buffalo, 54 years after the mark was set.  They lost 26-21.  Buffalo committed 12.  The 34 combined was the third-most in league history.

More generally, with the two prime-time games left, I find a total, at least according to the play-by-plays, of 30 possibly-actionable plays.

(I define such a play as any face mask, unsportsmanlike conduct, personal foul, unnecessary roughness, roughing the passer, taunting, horse-collar, or any of those other 15-yard penalties.)

(EDIT:  Add 3 more for the Sunday nighter -- Roughing the Kicker (PIT), Face Mask and Roughness (CHI).  Total of 33 with Denver and Oakland tonight.)

El Stupido, The Sequel: Yeah, some of us might not have much use for the NFL, BUT...

Meet Brian Holloway.  1980's lineman for the New England Patriots, and seems like an all-around swell guy.

Well, over Labor Day weekend, he found something disturbing...

CNN reports that 300 youths basically used his house as a RANSACKING party, including drugs, alcohol, the whole ball of wax.

El Stupido #1:  How did he find out about all this?  He saw the kids bragging about this shit on Twitter!

And this wasn't your standard (read:  stereotypical) flash rob-mob -- this was an upscale bunch of Caucasian kids!!

Holloway is TRYING to make the best of all this and trying to see what he can do to actually help these kids, as long as he can get them to help out in cleaning up the place and all such.

El Stupido #2:  Precisely ONE of the 300 has shown up (almost certainly at the parents' demand!).  He's identified about 2/3 of the group, and outed many of them on a website he's put up to help deal with all of this.

El Stupido #3:  Parents are pissed off because he outed their kids in all of this -- even though they bragged about this on Twitter!!

What, are you parents fucking endorsing this bullshit?

El Stupido #4:  ... because it sounds like some of these commenters ARE...

We've got the "it's all because of the liberals taking away all family values!" bullshit all over the thread...

This ball-less wonder:  "I bet Brian Holloway partied like this everyday when he was playing football in high school."

How about this piece of shit who completely gets it wrong:  "NFL doesn't teach values to children. It is a violent sport and kids should not play it. We are not a country of barbarians anymore. Football should be out of high schools and the NFL players are to blame for being role models and setting a bad example for our children to follow.

Most bullies are football players anyways. They think they're at the top of the social ladder of their school, party all the time, disrespect females, and they're the ones who mostly get into trouble, disrupting the education of everyone else. We're wasting our tax dollars on their education.

This guy rightfully got a dose of karma."

W.A.S.S.  ....

WE ARE SO SCREWED!!!!

EDIT:  We're even more screwed -- the parents of some of the kids are threatening to sue.

Fine Blotter: Week Two, Part Three: The Whole List

First, the four Supplemental Discipline efforts:

• Tampa Bay Buccaneers:  Dashon Goldson, originally suspended for Week 3, but commuted by Matt Birk to a $100,000 fine for his 8th Player Safety foul, and 4th in 7 games.  TWO-TIME LOSER this year in back-to-back weeks.
• Tennessee Titans:  Bernard Pollard, $42,000 for a forearm shiver to the face mask which contributed to a concussion of a defenseless receiver. A Week 1 pre-season fine makes Pollard, as well, a TWO-TIME LOSER.
• Washington Redskins:  Brandon Merriweather, $42,000 for a defenseless-player hit to the head which resulted in a concussion.
• Houston Texans:  Kareem Jackson, $42,000 for another such hit in the same game.

A side comment:  The next time Ndamokung Suh gets fined, the NFL reported on one of it's Sunday pre-game shows in Week 2, he will be suspended as well.  According to ESPN, his appeal of the $100,000 fine will come down September 24th.  Suh has to more than halve his fine to get the Lions back under the Level 2 threshhold.

Now, to today's announcements:

• Tennessee Titans #2:  Jackie Battle doesn't like it, but he's the first fined victim of the new "you can't lower your head as a running back rule".  The rule states you cannot lower your head to use it as a battering ram outside the tackle box -- this applies to all players, but is seen as a major cause of the 4-point a game lessening of scoring because of the inability of running backs to battering-ram their way into the end zone.  Battle was fined $21,000 for the play.
• Titans #3:  Rob Turner fined $10,000 for a peel-back block.
• Philadelphia Eagles:  DeMeco Ryans, $21,000 for another of those defenseless player hits in the head/neck, against San Diego wide receiver Malcolm Floyd.
• New England Patriots:  Chandler Jones, $15,750 for roughing the passer.
• Patriots #2:  Alfonzo Dennard, $7,875 for unnecessary roughness in the fight.
• Patriots #3:  Vince Wilfork, $7,875 for unnecessary roughness in the fight.
• Patriots #4:  Michael Buchanon, $7,875 for unnecessary roughness in the fight.
• New York Jets:  Willie Colon, for his disqualification, earned a total of $34,125 in becoming the season's THIRD (already) TWO-TIME LOSER of the season.  $26,250 for shoving the official, $7,875 for a punch in the fight.
• New York Jets:  D'Brickashaw Ferguson's fine was $15,000 for his ejection for unnecessary roughness in the same incident.  (The hit which caused all this, by Nick Mangold?  No fine at all!)

That game, alone, was worth $88,500 with six players fined!

• Tampa Bay #2:  Adrian Clayborn adds $21,000 to the Bucs' fine total this season for a helmet-to-helmet hit on Drew Brees.
• Tampa Bay #3:  Ahmad Black, $21,000 for a late hit.

Three Buccaneers were fined $142,000 for dirty hits in this game.  THIS MEANS:

• Tampa Bay Buccaneers:  In just the pre-season and two weeks into the regular season, the total in fines is $137,750 for six (Goldson's $100,000, by rule, only counts $50,000 vs. this policy.)  As a result, the Buccaneers are now on Level 2 of the Player Safety remittance policy, and have been fined $50,000 as a result.

 Tampa Bay becomes the second team so sanctioned.

• Cleveland Browns:  Paul Kruger, $7,875 for pulling another player's helmet off.
• San Francisco 49ers:  Anthony Davis, $7,875 for unnecessary roughness
• San Francisco 49ers:  Donte Whitner, $7,875 for a uniform violation
• SATURDAY EDIT: Detroit Lions: Israel Idonije, $15,750 for roughing the passer.

From last week (with an appeal this week):

• Dallas Cowboys:  Barry Church was fined $5,250 for throwing the ball into the stands against the Giants.  That fine, upon appeal, is now $3,250.

So we now have (of the teams fined and not already at Level 2 -- including Detroit from last week):

TEN at $98,000 for six, PHI at $21,000 for one, NE at $39,375 for the four fines of theirs from the game, NYJ at $85,875 for six, SF at $36,375 for four, and Cleveland's first for $7,875.

Detroit, already at Level 2 from Week 1, is now at $120,875 for eight fines.

Church's fine put Dallas' total after last week at $19,000 for two.

Totals:

Pre-season:          $  233,750
Week 1:               $  328,000
Detroit's Level 2:  $    50,000
Week 2:               $  447,875
Tampa's Level 2:  $    50,000

TOTAL, for just the pre-season and two weeks of the regular season:  $1,109,625

That's over a MILLION DOLLARS IN FINES, and we are two weeks into the year.  Almost a half-million this week alone.  This week broke the record from Week 12 of last year as the highest sum of money fined in the history of the National Football League's Player Safety policy (before Tampa's team aggravation) by $18,750.

Yeah, PLEASE TELL ME AGAIN THAT THESE FINES ARE WORKING.

Fine Blotter Addendum: Found the Team Fines situation

I found articles explaining to me how teams can be fined (and how much) for players' repeated violations of Player Safety, etc.:

• A team is allowed $105,000.  That is the minimum amount that a team can be fined that the NFL will take money from the team.
• There is one caveat to this rule:  A single incident by a single player can cost the team no more than $50,000 toward this amount.
• Once an NFL team reaches that $105,000, the team is fined $50,000 and proceeds to the second level of team discipline.
• At this level, they are afforded another $52,500.
• Should they reach $157,500, they are fined another $25,000 and proceed to the most stringent, third level of team discipline.
• At this final level, any player fines for Player Safety are matched as fines to the team, dollar for dollar. 
• Fines in the pre-season DO count against this total, as do fines in the playoffs and Super Bowl.

This is the third year that player fines can lead directly to team fines for Player Safety incidents for accumulation.

The total of all the fines I discovered last season was $3,123,625 .  This is just slightly under $100,000 a team.

If these were the same levels last year, then we can add the following fine totals to the teams, based on the list I have from last year (which has come in awfully handy!):

• New England:  Level 2 (approx. $143,000, not counting Belichick's $50,000):  $50,000
• Miami:  Level 1 (approx. $51,000):  $0
• Buffalo:  Level 1 ($35,000 -- $15,000 to a player, $20,000 for a false injury report):  $0
• New York Jets:  Level 1 (approx. $90,000):  $0
• Baltimore:  Level 3 ($224,250 -- Ed Reed, alone, was responsible for $105,000 of that -- Baltimore was already in Level 3 by the time he received his second $50,000 and up fine):  $141,750
• Pittsburgh:  Level 1 ($67,000, not counting a $35,000 team conduct fine):  $0
• Cleveland:  Level 1 ($32,875 -- they only had two the entire season):  $0
• Cincinnati:  Level 1 ($63,000 -- they only had three):  $0
• Houston:  Level 2 ($138,500):  $50,000
• Indianapolis:  Level 1 ($44,625 for four):  $0
• Tennessee: Level 2 ($106,125 -- just barely):  $50,000
• Jacksonville:  Level 1 ($77,000):  $0
• Denver:  Level 2 ($155,625 -- not including $55,000 for criticism of the replacements by the coaches Von Miller's three and Joe Mays' $50,000 helmet-to-helmet fine didn't help matters):  $50,000
• Kansas City:  Level 1 ($44,625 for three):  $0
• San Diego:  Level 1 ($23,625 for two, not including a team conduct for $20,000 in Week 9): $0
• Oakland:  Level 3 ($168,000, $105,000 of that alone -- the team reached Level 2 on this alone! -- was for four players involved in a mass fight against Cincinnati in Week 12):  $85,500

Interesting.  Six AFC teams reached at least Level 2, with the Raiders and Ravens going to the dollar-for-dollar stage.  The Raiders did so on the back of a single incident (for which I'm a little surprised the team themselves was not FURTHER fined), for the most part.

The other five teams were Tennessee, who went 6-10....  and ALL FOUR DIVISION CHAMPIONS.

Coinkydink?

To the NFC:

• Dallas: Level 1 ($55,125 for four):  $0
• New York Giants:  Level 1 ($78,750):  $0
• Philadelphia:  Level 1 ($65,125):  $0
• Washington:  Level  2 ($119,250 -- not including a $25,000 fine for the coach spouting off against the replacements, AND $20,000 for a false injury report):  $50,000
• Green Bay:   Level 2 ($109,500 -- and they got a fine in Week 17 (Tramon Williams, $7,875 for a head/neck shot) to put them in Level 2):  $50,000
• Minnesota:  Level 2 ($152,000):  $50,000 
• Chicago:  Level 2 ($117,625):  $50,000
• Detroit:  Level 2 ($133,250): $50,000

Please note:  ALL FOUR NFC NORTH TEAMS got to Level 2.

• Atlanta:  Level 1 ($45,875 for three -- the first division champion in seven divisions I checked not to be team-fined):  $0
• Carolina:  Level 3 ($179,375 -- four Week 16 incidents involving three players (including two Cam Newton incidents) blew them straight through Level 2 all the way to Level 3):  $96,875
• New Orleans:  Level 1 ($35,750 for three):  $0
• Tampa Bay:  Level 1 ($15,750 for two -- for the record, Goldson was playing in San Francisco!):  $0
• St. Louis: Level 1 ($80,875 -- not including $20,000 for a false injury report): $0
• Arizona:  Level 1 ($44,625 for three):  $0
• Seattle:  Level 1 ($91,875):  $0
• San Francisco:  Level 1 (Two "Ball Into Stands" fines and Dashon Goldson took their total to $104,000):  $0

So six of the eight division champions were team-fined (and a seventh fell only $1,000 short), and an NFC wild-card.

The teams were fined a total of $774,125 -- taking the total, if this was the correct figure, to $3,897,750.

For the record, here's where we stand this year (including all supplementals from week 2 -- NOT including all preview-announcements (read: The Jets)), and pre-season counts!!

• Detroit:  $105,125 for seven (and that's only because Suh's fine only counts for $50,000).  This means the Lions are already in Level 2 and have been fined $50,000 additional.
• San Diego:  $15,750 for one.
• Tennessee:  Including Pollard's supplemental $42,000:  $67,000 for three.
• Washington:  Including Merriweather's supplemental $42,000:  $95,625 for five.
• Chicago:  $21,000 for one.
• Dallas:  $15,750 for one.
• Houston:  Including Jackson's supplemental $42,000:  $63,000 for two fines.  It is unclear how the league addresses outright suspensions, like the one given to Antonio Smith in Week 2 of the pre-season.  Some reports indicated he was fined, and, obviously, that would add to this number.  I cannot find a report that says how much, though.
• New York Giants:  $22,875 for two.
• Baltimore:  $30.750 for three.
• Jacksonville:  $7,875 for one.
• New York Jets:  $36,750 for three -- a number that appears to have already increased by another at least $50,000 for the fight Week 2 vs. New England.  It is likely that, by the end of the day, the Jets will probably be Level 2 as well, or VERY close.
• Buffalo:  $7,875 for one.
• Green Bay:  $15,000 (*cough*) for one.
• Indianapolis:  $7,875 for one.
• Miami:  $7,875 for one.
• New Orleans:  $7,875 for one.
• Seattle:  $7,875 for one.
• San Francisco:  $20,625 for two.
• St. Louis:  $15,750 for two.
• Tampa Bay:  $95,750 for four, and that's only because Goldson's (farcical) suspension-reversal counts for only half his $100,000 for Week 2.

Well, I think it's safe to say we can wipe out ONE single-season home run record...

Too bad, for a lot of us, that record does not belong to Barry/Barroids Bonds or Mark McGwire/McLiar.

And it's a shame that it probably happened to this man, because, chances are, it might well not have had anything to do with him, in the final analysis.

Wladimir Balentien is an MLB journeyman who went to Japan to make his name in the Nippon Baseball League after a couple of unremarkable years in the United States.

Has he ever!!

Earlier this week, he hit his 56th and 57th home runs of the Japanese season.

In a league that has seen the likes of the world-record home-run hitter Sadaharu Oh (who held the record previously, at 55), Wladimir Balentien has broken the single-season Japanese home run record.

It's too bad that, given what came out today, he won't be able to keep it.

According to Yahoo! Sports, as a result of the all-too-probable reason Balentien broke the record, the Commissioner of the Nippon Baseball League has been forced to resign.

Friday, Japan time, Ryozo Kato, the three-term Commissioner of the Nippon Baseball League announced his resignation, due to the fact that he has been forced to admit that a Japanese power explosion is due to the Nippon Baseball League juicing the balls to make them easier to hit further and harder, effective the end of the year.

And am I too much a cynic now?  When I first heard of Balentien's chase while I was in Vegas, the first thing I thought was "What's he on?  What's going on??"

We now have our answer.

Several Notes, 9/19/13 (includes Fine Blotter, Week Two, Part Two)

• Michael Waltrip Racing is one step closer to extinction today, as NAPA Auto Parts, the iconic long-time sponsor of all things Michael Waltrip, has thrown in the towel after Michael Waltrip Racing's federally-illegal sports bribery at the Richmond International Raceway a couple weeks ago.  They're gone at the end of the year.  This probably means the layoff of about 100 people, at minimum, and that's if MWR can retain 5 Hour Energy, which has openly condemned the violations of US Federal Law which took place at the race when MWR's people attempted to fix the outcome to ensure the maximum number of cars in the current Chase for the Sprint Cup.  (Though 5-Hour Energy, Bowyer's sponsor, is "still evaluating" it's relationship with Michael Waltrip Racing, Aaron's, Brian Vickers' sponsor, appears to be in the fold and will not leave.)  Martin Truex Jr. (the only of the three MWR drivers not known to have been involved in the fix) may be looking for a new team next year -- and may face the prospect of being blackballed from NASCAR.  The position of this blog is still clear:  Beginning with Waltrip, Clint Bowyer, and Brian Vickers, and extending to everybody involved in the fix -- Federal investigation and immediate permanent expulsion from stock-car racing.  And that includes David Gilliland, Joey Logano, and everybody in that other incident NASCAR has been able to cover up.
• This, usually, would get it's own post, but, frankly, this happens probably at every high-school football team in the country, leaving one to wonder who these players pissed off to be the ones singled out.  According to the Riverside (CA) Press-Enterprise, two former players at the nationally-regarded high-school football team of Vista Murrieta High School were expelled from the team from an August investigation and arrested last week at it's completion.  Kishawn Tre Holmes, 17, was charged with various sexual crimes involving at least six victims, including two forcible rapes and two incidents where the victim was under the age of 14.  The second, Byron K. Holt, Jr., also 17 (it is interesting that both accused have been identified, given that this case is still in juvenile court -- though Holmes' case has been sealed), is also being charged with sex with a girl under 14, though Holmes' attorney, according to the Press-Enterprise, states it consensual.  Please do not take my initial statement to undercut the charges -- what I'm saying is that it is highly doubtful in this skeptic's mind that these kinds of acts aren't going on in every high school in the country which has a football team (with girls 14 or under as well -- freshman girls in many states are, in fact, 14 when they enter high school).  Doubly so when you realize the reputation of the team from Vista Murrieta.  And former players and many other people in Murrieta are already up in arms at the accusers, as the article notes at the bottom.  Just another show of the combination of the rape culture, the thug culture, and the "sport" of football...
• Speaking of farces, the numbers are coming in on the Floyd Mayweather take for his scripted production with Saul "Canelo" Alvarez from last Saturday.  It's shattering all boxing records.  Most money ever spent on a live crowd for boxing ($20,003,150), most money for a closed-circuit crowd in Las Vegas ($2,615,360 at $99 a shot -- and they'd have sold more had they had room.  All closed-circuit venues were sold out), and an unbelievable pay-per-view record take of 2,200,000 buys, raking in $150,000,000.  It is believed that Floyd Mayweather will make $100,000,000 off a $200,000,000 fight when all is said and done.  What a fucking joke.
• Declan Hill is at least a semi-pleased man, though his blog notes he still has a lot of questions about a major piece of news he's been waiting for for years:  Dan Tan, the Singaporean soccer-fixing mega-boss, has finally been arrested in Singapore under terrorism charges.  There are many who undercut this news, believing that someone will take his place.  I can't see anyone taking his place to his scale.  Dan Tan basically owned soccer in many regions, countries, and continents.  My concern, at this juncture, is the major disruption of a major sporting event (the 2014 Olympics or World Cup come to mind!!) by a Tan associate as a "nuclear option", now that Tan is in custody.  Then, even still, the questions Hill asks in his blog do remain.
• A couple of the early reports on the NFL Fine Blotter indicate, as expected, several Jets are paying the piper for last Thursday night's debacle after they lost to the Patriots:
• D'Brickashaw Ferguson, thrown out of the game for a punch during the melee:  $15,000.
• Willie Colon, ejected for contact with an official, appears to have gotten $21,000 for that and $15,000 or $15,750 for the role in the right.
• No word on whether Nick Mangold is going to be fined for the shot that started it.  Knowing the league, probably $15,000 or so, even though it should be, especially for what it led to, at least $50-75K.  So we've basically handled only the Supplemental Discipline (Repeat Offender Aggravators to discussions of suspension -- and only discussions...) for Week 2 and two pre-reports on the Jets fight.  That's $276,000 or so (I'll relist everything tomorrow when the rank-and-file fines come out and Colon's total is confirmed.), and that makes almost $600,000 in fines for just two weeks of the regular season.  Tack on the pre-season, and we're up over $825,000.  We're probably passing $1,000,000 for the season with just the pre-season and 2 weeks of the regular season.  (And we're not even counting team fines for accumulation of Player Safety incidents.)  As ex-NFL fans of my almost chant now:  "FINES DON'T WORK!!!" 
• EDIT TO ADD 6:47 PM PDT 9/19 (with a hat-tip to my anonymous friend for tossing this one into the mix):  It appears as if the NFL wants an apology and financial retribution from M.I.A. for the middle finger and expletive during the Madonna Super Bowl Halftime Show two years ago (still the highest-rated single event in the history of American television -- it out-rated the Super Bowl between the Patriots and Giants).  The NFL is going to try to "go to war with her privately" if she doesn't apologize and pay the NFL a $1,500,000 tribute/peace offering/bribe.  Not only does this indicate that the NFL's status with the FCC (through the networks who are providing the billions which the NFL is profiting from) is many times more important than any Player Safety shenanigans (again, "FINES DON'T WORK!!!"), but this war appears to be ready to go very public, by M.I.A.  Her lawyer basically says exactly that, adding that it will become political, addressing not only NFL issues, but real-life issues that the NFL's bully-pulpit chooses to ignore, including the genocide in her half-home country of Sri Lanka.  
• He continues, from the Sports Illustrated article:  “Of course, the NFL’s claimed reputation for wholesomeness is hilarious, in light of the weekly felonies committed by its stars, the bounties placed by coaches on opposing players, the homophobic and racist comments uttered by its players, the complete disregard for the health of players and the premature deaths that have resulted from same, and the raping of public entities ready to sacrifice public funds to attract teams.”

Fine Blotter, Week Two, Part 1.5: Matt Birk, you are a fucking idiot...

Well, I was wrong about one thing...

Dashon Goldson will be able to play this week.

Matt Burke heard the appeal, and has reduced the suspension to the same fine Ndamukong Suh got, $100,000...

HOW MANY MORE IS THIS GOING TO TAKE, especially given the news out of New Jersey this week from that high school kid who died...

This guy, Mr Burke:

• Has more personal fouls than anyone in the league since 2010 (15).
• He has at least eight Player Safety fines in that period
• He has four Player Safety fines (a roughing the passer, and three helmet hits of various types) in the last seven games.

This motherfucker must think he's untouchable by now!

---

Sounds like we've got a couple biggies to start the week too, as the Supplemental Discipline decisions are coming down, and there are at least three more:

• Tennessee Titans:  Bernard Pollard, fined $42,000 for hitting Andre Johnson in the head/neck (defenseless player rule).  Johnson got a concussion from that one.  Johnson received a concussion on the hit.  Pollard becomes the second (after Goldson) TWO-TIME LOSER -- two weeks into the season!  Forearm to the facemask causing a whiplash into the ground for a concussion of an airborne receiver.  Appears to also follow through the forearm to accelerate the head into the ground.

• Houston Texans:  Kareem Jackson, $42,000 for another illegal hit.  That's Jackson's first this year -- but he had a similar penalty for $20,000 in Week 16!!  Meaning, that's two in four games.

And, according to Alex Marquez:

• The Buccaneers' team will be fined too, depending on how much the total fines over the course of the season are.  (I'd have to think the Lions and Texans are about down the same boat)
• Washington Redskins:  Brandon Merriweather, another $42,000 for the hit to Eddie Lacy in the head against Green Bay - that knocked Lacy out of the game with a concussion.

That's $226,000 already this week, and all basically repeat offenders.  Both Lacy and Johnson may be out at least this week -- they are not cleared to play yet.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH YOU MOTHERFUCKERS?

The Continuing Homophobia (and Illegal Hiring Practices) of the Neanderthal Felon League...

The continuing story of why NFL players are forced into the closet if they are members of the GLBT community boggles my mind that a whistleblower, of some sort, hasn't just said enough.

I mentioned the story of Chris Kluwe before the start of the season.  He's now unemployed, cut by the Raiders before the start of the season.

Deadspin, last week, reported that a website called Media Takeout effectively (for purposes of employment, at minimum -- I've been known to do the same with male friends who I feel need that degree of support.  And if any of my readers have a fucking problem with that, I'll see them out back...) outed Arizona Cardinals defensive back Kerry Rhodes by posting a picture of him with an arm around another guy.

Fuckers, I've done that.  Many times.  I have no fucking problems doing that, and I'm not gay.

But, as the Deadspin article points out, THE MERE SUSPICION that this guy MIGHT be gay has gotten his ass cut from the league -- a player who has been in the league SEVEN YEARS!!!

This, even though:

• The Baltimore Ravens got torched for seven touchdown passes in the opener.
• Colin Kaepernick ate up the Green Bay pass defense in Week 1.
• There were more passing touchdowns and yards in Week 1 this year than any week in NFL history.
• And Aaron Rodgers promptly turned around and did a number on the Washington Redskins in Week 2.

And that's just SOME examples...

Would anyone like to tell the family of Eric Alva that they don't want any of that "sweet stuff" around, even though, as the NFL is that rich and that Too Big To Fail, that it's clear that Alva probably DID die for their freedom?

Freedom to discriminate illegally in employment practices against members of the LGBT community?

Mike Florio noted that four teams brought in defensive secondary help to try them out.  No one took a shot at Rhodes...

Why?  From the Deadspin article:

"From league source who requested anonymity: "There's no buzz about Kerry Rhodes." Also, from what I am hearing, I can't disagree with the possibility Rhodes is being blackballed. You can quote me on all of this."

The National Football League is blackballing GLBT players.

Period.

Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo is now former Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo.  He's saying he wasn't put out by his support for GLBT equality, but why is he still not in the league then?

There's a fourth case that people who pointed this out to me mentioned to me, and I'm not recalling it at the moment.  I'll put it in if I do or am reminded...

This is a violation of Federal Law, and it really reinforces a violent-male over-power rape culture that The National Religion has no problem interjecting itself into the center of.

This is a disgrace.  But are we to be surprised by a league that traces itself to mafia and gambling interests.

Any member of the GLBT community who is an NFL fan is either stupid, ignorant, doesn't know (and needs to, NOW!), or some combination of the first two.

It will take violence against this league to change it, because violence is the only language football understands.

Why?

Read the next post down...

Yet Another Human Sacrifice

(Source:  Deadspin)

And this one is even more prescient than the others.

Damon James

16

Brocton, NY

Helmet-to-Helmet Hit

DEAD.

So now we have a direct tie between this ESPN-led missile-shit and a death.  These complete lack of fundamentals that leave the Dashon Goldsons of the world to repeatedly illegally nail players, and now we've got a dead one as a DIRECT RESULT of an illegal helmet hit...

Or, what is it, Football Fealty Swearers??  "Kill them all, and let God sort them out"????

Week 2 Score Update

Get this out of the way quickly:  I've got an entire video-game part of a state to explore...

Week 2 score average:  Exactly 43 a game.

Two-week average:  Just short of 44.7.  Lowest since 2010.  About 4 points down from last year.

Why?  I think it's simple.  Passing still seems to work, but the runners are not -- and I think the "you can no longer use your head as a battering ram" rule has impacted the running game.

Cliffhanger Index:  Nothing more in the prime-time games, so Week 2 is 6 for a total of 10.

Suspension (and possibly worse!) Blotter: Week Two, Part One...

Well, it has happened for the second time in NFL history.

Dashon Goldson has done it again, Player Safety Violation #8 in just over three years.  Player Safety Violation #5 just since Week 7 of last season.

For a helmet-to-helmet hit yesterday (friends of mine point out, about 48 hours after he received the Fed-Ex dinging him $30,000 for the Week 1 incident), the league has made the Tampa Bay safety only the second player in the history of the NFL to be suspended solely for accumulative Player Safety incidents, Sports Illustrated reports.

(ESPN has conveniently buried this story into the NFL page, three deep.)

Here's why I think Goldson should've been suspended THIS WEEK, and why he's finally getting the boot for Week 3 vs. New England:

• Week 7, last year, $7,875 for unsportsmanlike conduct.
• Week 13, last year, same fine, Roughing the Passer
• Week 15, last year, $21,000 for a helmet-to-helmet
• Week 1, this year, $30,000 for hitting a defenseless player in the head and neck
• And now this incident, which got a very strongly-worded retort from the league.

So, let's get this straight:  He's committed four Player Safety-level Personal Fouls in just his last seven games, the NFL has noted he has the most personal fouls in the league in the last 3+ years (15, even more the Nadmukong Suh), this is his eighth league fine in this time period...

And it's a one-game suspension...

No, we're up to about four, Mr. Goodell.  One should've gone down probably last year for the third incident in Week 15, if not far sooner.

---

But at least Goldson will be back for the rest of the season (though he should not be).

That might not be true for New England starting cornerback Alfonzo Dennard, who has just announced to a judge that he has violated his probation in July by drinking alcohol and driving, a DUI he will face the music for in October, Yahoo! Sports reported today.

In December, he will face the judge again on violation of probation.

If that were you or me, we'd be in jail tout suite...

But he's a football...  *breathes in through nose* gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahd....

(Hat-tip to JBL)

El Stupido: Yet Another Reason People Are Too Stupid To Wake Up...

(Another hat-tip to my anonymous friend...)

Deadspin has a hilarious article up tonight.

(Actually, it has two.)

The first one is just to show how much people aren't paying attention, even at the NFL itself!

The Red Zone is that channel that is supposed to show every score and the like on Sunday.

Well, someone was asleep at the wheel, and we got the graphic you saw on Deadspin.

I'd like to know who the two quarterbacks named Lastname are.  Because not only, at halftime of the Texans and Titans, are they both 16 for 27 for 353 yards and 3 touchdowns, they've done so in a game that is only 10-7 to Tennessee.

How you pull that off, I don't know...

(ProTip for the El Stupidos:  It's called placeholders.)

The second one was the one I was pointed out to, and just have to laugh at.

This goes back to the infamous Miley Cyrus incident at the MTV Video Music Awards.

Well, the FCC was told to get involved.  (Hold that thought, I'll get to all that.  I need to set this up for people who haven't seen this...)   161 complaints were obtained by Deadspin from a Freedom of Information Act request.

Now, I've complained to the FCC on a number of subjects, but I can't say I got as stupid as some of these examples of American excellence:

• Someone from Sand Point, ID saying it was not OK for anything but a strip club, and to point out Will Smith's family's reaction.  (El Stupido #1:  The picture referenced was in reaction to Lady Gaga -- who got her own fair share of heat.  Yes, I originally thought it was in reaction to Cyrus as well, but found out quickly it was not...)
• An Albany, NY complaint said it was like watching child porn.  A Washington, UT complaint said it was indecent sexual acts on stage by a child.  (El Stupido #2:  As much as one might have issue with the content, Miley Ray Cyrus was born Destiny Hope Cyrus on November 23, 1992.  She's 20.  An adult in every state in the land.)
• Bordentown, NJ:  "This isn't the America I knew."  (El Stupido #3:  Neither is one where some idiot can go intersection-to-intersection blasting his motorcycle, cruising up and down the street to annoy the neighborhood.  Certainly not the America I knew when I was able to go play in the large yard across the street from my first home in Preston, MN -- even though we didn't have a small yard ourselves!)
• One complaint called her "Milye".  One spelled her last name "Syres".  One called her "mylie cyrus".  There was a "Milie" in there.  Etc. and so forth and so on.  (El Stupido #4:  Michael Volkner of Eau Claire, Wisconsin, was contacted, and asks you to listen to the Keith Olbermann interview from his first night on ESPN2, with Jason Whitlock, with reference to that everyone (he refers to reporters) should be The Only Story in the World for one day (about 3:20 in the clip) -- and the inexcusable errors which result.  By his "one day", Mr. Volkner (misspelled) had been living in Milwaukee for almost FOUR YEARS.)
• One complaint said that her use of African-American women as props demeaned them during the performance.  (El Stupido #5:  And the way the hip-hop people present them doesn't?)
• AND THEN THE ULTIMATE EL STUPIDO (the one I told you to "hold that thought" on):  Even if all the idiocy up here were true:

THE FEDERAL COMMUNICATIONS COMMISSION HAS NO JURISDICTION OVER CABLE TELEVISION!!

And, yet, you wonder why people can fall for the NFL's chicanery, get fooled to think that "Canelo" Alvarez might be the one guy that can finally beat boxing's "Honky Tonk Man", etc. and so forth and on and ON and ON!!

(ON EDIT)

Let's make it three!  God bless Keith Olbermann for this one.

World's Worst Person in the Sports World is an off-shoot of Olbermann's old "Worst Person in the World" segment while Olbermann was doing news.

He had a gem last Friday in the Bronze (3rd place) position.

So some jackass decides he's going to identity theft Fred Sternberg, and gain access to his American Express card.

Sternberg got a phone call from American Express, stating that someone tried to charge $75.25 to be able to see the farce in Las Vegas on Saturday night between Mayweather and Alvarez.

Well, they figured that out and cut that off, but what makes it funny is that Sternberg is a Denver publicist, and, one of his clients?

Manny Pacquiao!!!

OK, NFL, this is getting silly...

This post started at 12:30 PM PDT.

I was doing other stuff, and just checked out the scoreboard.

Green Bay was waxing Washington in the probable marquee game of the week, then 38-7.  (Some garbage time work made the final 38-20 for the Pack.)

Of the other eight games on the schedule, ALL EIGHT were within one score.

In fact, all eight and then two more games in the late session, ten out of 13, were decided by 8 points or less.

Only in Roger Goodell's NFL, and the Regular Season Game of the Year, now in progress.

The Cliffhanger Index for the week?  The number of games already this week with a deciding score within two minutes left or overtime?  6.

Mayweather-Alvarez: The Super Fraud Scorecard

Yep, saw the fight.  Wanted to see if the scorecards were close.

They weren't.

Round 1:  Mayweather pressing, Alvarez going backward for the most part.  When Mayweather is going backward, it’s that defense of his.  Except for about 15 seconds, Mayweather doing most of the going forward and Alvarez doing most of the going backward in the first 90 seconds.  That, absent any real answer, is called “Ring Generalship”.

Then, Alvarez gets a short bit of initiative.  No real punches are being landed either side here.  It is a true feeling-out round.  The sides then square up, not really much to Round 1 of The One.

Maybe Floyd landed a couple of jabs, but there just wasn’t anything to the round.  If you scored it for Alvarez (and Ross did), you probably had to believe that some of the punches that forced Mayweather to evade were meaningful.  If you scored it for Mayweather (as the other two did), you pretty well have to state that he had more Ring Generalship.

Well, he had it for about the first minute, but not really much after the 90 second mark.

Metcalf and Moretti:  10-9 Mayweather
Ross:  10-9 Alvarez
Me:  EVEN ROUND.  Just not much to it.

Round 2:  Lots of stalking, no throwing.  That’s going to play right into Mayweather’s hands.  First real popping jab hit by Mayweather about 50 seconds into the round.  Another minute of “just not much to it” to start the second round.

You’re struck by Mayweather’s ability to back out of range so quickly.  You think Alvarez has a punch, but Mayweather is long gone out the back door before it has a chance to consummate.  You’d think, after 45 fights, someone would at least be able to teach a counter to that speed, but the problem is that he’s not going side-to-side, but backwards.  You can’t cut off the ring.  You’d almost have to swarm him and hope he doesn’t bury you.

It’s almost the 21st century version of the Rope-a-Dope, and defense IS supposed to be a factor in scoring, but is it defense or does it look like he’s running from Alvarez?

Not much here either.  Just not much.  Now, finally, in the last minute, Mayweather is beginning to move Alvarez backward again.

Metcalf:  10-9 Alvarez.  19-19
Ross:  10-9 Mayweather.  19-19
Moretti:  10-9 Mayweather.  20-18
Me:  10-9 Mayweather. 20-19.  This is one of the rounds that I felt Alvarez might’ve won.  I was wrong.  It was looking like another even round before the last minute, when Mayweather was able to get Alvarez to go backward again, like he did in the first round.  Without a response within the round from Alvarez, in generalship or offense, Mayweather wins the round.

Round 3:  Better trade to start the round, Alvarez beginning with initiative. 

It’s a Mayweather fight.  A tactical affair, and all the buzz surrounding the fight was that it wasn’t going to be so technical.  A technical fight like this gets the result you saw on the bloggers’ cards.  Mayweather is the best technical fighter in the world, so you have to find another way to beat him.

Ever so little by little sometimes, you see, over the course of the round, Alvarez going backward.  Again, absent an answer, that’s going to lose rounds.

Some of the ESPN people literally said it was like fighting “a giant shoulder”.  He almost looks like a wimp doing it, but that’s part of Mayweather’s defense.  He’s not squared-up, and he doesn’t give you a large target to work with.

On the other side of the equation, he’s not going on the offensive that much, and the result is that this is not a very compelling start to this mega-fight.  Mayweather establishing control of where the fight is taking place, but I’m struck by how few punches are being THROWN, much less landed, in the first three rounds.

Two good Mayweather rights to the face with about a minute to go.  Even when Mayweather is right near the ropes, he’s in control of where he is at all times.  Alvarez is NOT.  However, this does lead to Alvarez getting some initiative in the latter stage of the round.

Moretti:  10-9 Alvarez  29-28 Mayweather total.
Metcalf:  10-9 Mayweather  29-28 Mayweather.
Ross:  10-9 Alvarez  29-28 Alvarez
Me:  I’d point at this round as a good indication of the pre-determination of the result of the fight.  I didn’t see Alvarez land ONE CLEAN SHOT the entire round.  It’s not that Mayweather landed many more than zero, but he did land a couple.  End of the day, he does have the control of the ring on Alvarez, and, absent anything else, that’s enough: 10-9 Mayweather, 30-28 Mayweather total.

Round 4:  Mayweather almost in a more conventional Rope-a-Dope, but it’s without Alvarez throwing anything to deal with it.  I think another way I would say that this thing is pre-determined is:  if you’re going to lose, what’s the harm in trying to win and getting knocked out?  The alternative being ran around the ring, made to look like an idiot, and losing a lopsided decision.

Couple of hard clinches in the first 30 seconds.  Again, not much else.  And now, Mayweather beginning to find the range, connecting with about four punches in the second half of the first minute.

And then Alvarez bonks Mayweather low on the break.  Should’ve been a point deduction, frankly, but the biggest thing is that Alvarez, then, should’ve turned the fight into a street brawl.  He’s not going to out-box Mayweather, so he has to try to find a way to get his punching power into play, as he hasn’t even TRIED to do that for nearly 3 ½ rounds now.

And then Mayweather on the bicycle, and almost no punches being thrown at all!  Mayweather now getting the range somewhat, Alvarez is not.  Couple of Alvarez jabs may have grazed Mayweather about a minute to go.  And now, Mayweather providing almost no target to hit, and then jab-jab-jab to back Alvarez up.

All three judges scored it 10-9 for Mayweather.  Moretti and Metcalf have it 39-37 Mayweather.  Ross has it 38-38.

Me:  Not only is that a 10-9 round for Mayweather, it’s borderline 10-8, for two reasons.  One, Alvarez should’ve been docked a point for the low blow on the break.  Two, Alvarez did NOTHING in that round and Mayweather was beginning to tee off.  It’s not that Mayweather has that much real power for Alvarez to be afraid of, but it’s four rounds into the fight, and Alvarez is a power guy who weighed in on fight night at 165, 13 pounds over the catch-weight.  Throw a fucking punch, or get run out of the fight!  40-37 Mayweather.

Round 5:  You can talk about defense all you want, but you gotta swing the bat/be aggressive with the ball/shoot the ball/punch your opponent -- and Alvarez is not doing it!

Brief slight initiative to Alvarez, but back to more of the same.  Just a lot of jabbing, the occasional follow-up, but nothing that indicates any real danger or any real attempt to break down that defense of Mayweather.  It’s now 13 minutes into the fight, and I can’t think of a meaningful punch Alvarez has hit yet!

Alvarez backs Mayweather to the ropes, but he’s got to be like “stink on shit” at that moment, and Mayweather just weasels out in a move that would make Bobby Heenan proud.  Alvarez might have gotten one about halfway through the round, but that’s all you can say -- mights and maybes don’t defeat Floyd Mayweather.

The action picks up briefly thereafter, including probably Alvarez’ best punch of the fight, a stiff jab that did basically nothing…  Then Alvarez gets popped about 45 seconds to go in the round, as Mayweather is, by far, the busier man.  Five seconds later, a looping left nails Alvarez, and Mayweather is in control.

For the first real time in the fight, even though Mayweather is leading comfortably, you get the sense that Alvarez does not belong in the ring with this man.  He’s taking several stiff shots without much of an answer.  It’s not wobbling Alvarez or making him in any danger of a knockout or knockdown, but it’s clear who wins the round…

All three judges and me scored it for Mayweather, 10-9. 
Moretti and Metcalf, 49-46 to Mayweather.
Ross, 48-47 to Mayweather.
Me:  50-46 to Mayweather.

Round 6:  Five rounds into the fight, and the power guy has landed maybe one stiff jab the entire fight.

Alvarez finally pressing with some urgency in the start of this round.  2:26 left in the sixth, Alvarez lands his first power shot of the night, and even that seemed deflected/short/less than full power.  Just misses with another decent shot 15 seconds later, but at least some oomph with Alvarez.

First half of the round would have to go to Alvarez, but a quick left to the chin by Mayweather suffocates some of the advantage.  Alvarez then hits Mayweather illegally on the break again, drawing a warning from the official.  And now it’s getting personal…

If only Alvarez actually had meant to do something to Mayweather the entire evening sans fouling him.

Alvarez finally trying to break through.  The only problem with that, Mayweather IS breaking through.  Again, not really much to buckle the legs or to think the fight might end early, but enough to rack up the points with the judges.  Mayweather teeing off, to a decent degree, later in the round.

Mayweather might have landed about eight decent shots to Alvarez in the last minute of that round.  Alvarez got nothing in response.

Another sweep for 10-9 Mayweather.

Moretti and Metcalf, 59-55
Ross has it 58-56
Me:  60-55, all to Mayweather

Round 7:  Another sequence of rough stuff punctuates another segment of successful Ring Generalship by Mayweather, putting Alvarez into the corner before a rough break.

It does, however, look that Mayweather is willing to cede more of the initiative to Alvarez in this round.  Perhaps it’s that he knows he basically has nothing to fear, even though Alvarez should, realistically, feel the same way.

A decent shot by Alvarez appears to wake Mayweather up to take some of the initiative back as the first minute of the round ends.  However, about 1:45 left, the first good combination of the fight for Alvarez (and even that’s a matter of perspective).  And then the fight begins to lull people to sleep again.

Mayweather begins to assert initiative again about a minute to go, and a looping right is followed my Mayweather’s best punch of the fight:  a right on the button set up by several exploratory jabs.

And now Mayweather is almost taunting both Alvarez and everybody wanting to see Floyd lose -- he’s got Alvarez in the corner and Jerry is just toying with Tom right now.  Then, Alvarez finally seems to throw a punch with significant malice for the first time in the fight… missing badly.

I’m almost expect Mayweather and The Money Team to break out the “NYAH! NYAH! NYAH-NYAH! NYAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” any time now.

Another clean sweep for 10-9 Mayweather.

Moretti and Metcalf, 69-64
Ross, 68-65
Me, 70-64, all Mayweather.

Round 8:  Has Alvarez hit FIVE meaningful punches in seven rounds?  Not damaging, just meaningful…

Again, Mayweather cedes early advantage to Alvarez, without any real effect or consequence.  So does it really mean anything that Mayweather does this?

Alvarez definitely pressing, but nothing being thrown.  The thing being, though:  If you do it for Mayweather, you have to do it for Alvarez too -- Ring Generalship.

Decent body shot for Alvarez about half-way, but he’s taken several blows from the elusive Mayweather in response.  For about five seconds, shortly thereafter, Alvarez appears to finally have a range on Mayweather against the ropes, but, rather than Alvarez hitting him, Mayweather just escapes unscathed.

It is about at this point in the fight that I have publicly resigned it to another Mayweather scripted production with a willing opponent just willing to collect a paycheck from The Money Team.

Another bout on the ropes early in the last minute of the round has the fighter on the ropes (Mayweather) landing the more effective blows (two to the head) than Alvarez (who might’ve gotten a body-shot in).

Three more popping shots for Mayweather putting Alvarez’ head back, and it’s Mayweather in control, almost taunting his detractors with Rope-a-Dope, The 21st Century Version.

Moretti and Metcalf both gave Mayweather another 10-9 round, for 79-73.
Ross gave the round 10-9 to Alvarez for 77-75 to Mayweather.
Me:  What the fuck round were you watching, C.J. Ross?  I’ll admit that there was probably about a minute and a third to start the round that Alvarez could well have won the round had he continued, but he took a number of shots in the second half of the round that made it another easy round at the office for Mayweather.  10-9, for 80-73.

Round 9:  Again, Mayweather willing to concede advantage, but on his terms.  It’s clear he can dictate where he goes, pretty much any time he wants to.

There is some urgency in Alvarez, but it’s less than previous rounds.  Mayweather looks far fresher and in control.

Alvarez slightly more active, but nothing landing really at all, either way, first minute of round 9.

It’s a minute and 20 seconds into the round before Alvarez lands a body shot, and he gets two to the head in response.  Alvarez is the more active of the two, but with almost no results.

Now, about a minute to go, Mayweather finding the range again, like several previous rounds.  There is the occasional punch with malice, but Alvarez hasn’t hit Mayweather with more than maybe a half a dozen (maybe one or two more) meaningful punches in nine rounds.

Metcalf, another round 10-9 for Mayweather.  89-82 total.
Moretti gave the round to Alvarez, 10-9, feeling he was the busier fighter.  88-83 Mayweather.
Ross also gave the round to Alvarez, 10-9, for 86-85 to Mayweather.

Me:  I can see the argument.  At the end of the day, you have to hit something meaningful.  There’s two major problems with giving Alvarez the round:  Mayweather looks, far, the fresher fighter, and nothing Alvarez is doing has any real meaning at the end of the day in the first place.  What Alvarez is getting is what Mayweather is giving him, rather than anything Alvarez is taking.

As a result, give me another 10-9 for Mayweather, and that’s 90-82.

Round 10:  Again, as in several of the previous rounds, Mayweather cedes early advantage, as if (and he probably does) he knows that won’t mean anything in the final analysis.

By now, Alvarez is the busier fighter.  He is throwing more punches, but he isn’t hitting any of them.

A minute in, Mayweather backs Alvarez to the ropes, and then just pops him twice.  Probably the first two landed punches of the round for either man.

What follows is an extended sequence of Mayweather pressuring Alvarez on the ropes and making Alvarez his bitch.

Metcalf scored the round for Alvarez, though, 10-9 for 98-92 Mayweather.
Moretti and Ross scored the round 10-9 for Mayweather.  Moretti now also has it 98-92, Ross 96-94.

Me:  That sequence in the middle of the round was telling.  When Alvarez is punching, it doesn’t really mean anything.  When Mayweather is in control, he basically can tell Alvarez where to go and where to get hit.  Another round for Mayweather, 100-91 total.

Round 11:  Same drill to start.  Almost so little action, the referee has to prompt for some…

Alvarez at least pressing for position, but not much else in effect.

Mayweather then gets busy in the middle of the round, and it’s the same song, the next verse.

I honestly do not believe that, 10 ½ rounds into the fight, Alvarez has landed ten meaningful shots.

Alvarez does get two meaningful ones in about a minute to go on the ropes, but Mayweather gets out of it.

You see, Mayweather is on the ropes because he wants to be there.  Alvarez hasn’t put him there, can’t keep him there (even though he’s 15 pounds heavier and should be able to muscle Mayweather around if he chose!)

Metcalf gave the round to Mayweather for 108-101.
Moretti and Ross both gave the round to Alvarez.  Moretti is at 107-102 for Mayweather.  Ross is at 105-104 Mayweather.

Me:  Tough round to score.  The real problem with openly giving Alvarez the round with open arms is that any Ring Generalship was given by  Mayweather and not forced by Alvarez.  By this time, “Money” is counting his money, almost in the ring while doing so, and he still probably got the more meaningful exchange mid-round.  10-9 Mayweather for 110-100.

Round 12:  I’ll tell you right now, all three judges scored this round for Alvarez, and that gave you the 116-112 (Moretti), 117-111 (Metcalf) majority decision for Mayweather with Ross’ 114-114 abortion for a draw.

At this point, the scripted production is fully on.  One of the things that pisses off people so much about Mayweather is, if he’s so much better, knock the guy the fuck out and get out of there.

That said, he has no intention:  He’s going to make his haters suffer for twelve… interminable… rounds…

To give you an idea of just how ridiculous this all got:  Try to count the number of punches thrown in the first minute of the 12th round.

I counted NINE.  Five for Alvarez, four for Mayweather.  NOTHING LANDED.

Another 12 (8 for Mayweather) in the next 30 seconds…

Another 10 (5 and 5) the next 30.

Two minutes of the final round, 31 punches thrown, and I can’t find a single meaningful landed shot.

Finally, Alvarez pops him in the face for the first landed punch of the round by either guy, about 50 seconds to go in the fight.

Action picks up, as you’d expect in a scripted fight, for the “go home” moment at the end in the last 40 seconds or so, but, again, nothing threatening at all and very little lands by either guy.

So do you give the round to Alvarez for one landed punch?

Me:  No.  Even round, because nothing happened.  My final card is 10 rounds Mayweather, 2 rounds even.  120-110.