Day 450

• In another example of football's incompatibility with humanity, seven coaches at an Ohio high school have been fired for the violation of a Jewish player's beliefs by forcing him to eat pork as a penalty for missing a voluntary workout.  The 17 year old and his family are still suing the school district.  An eighth coach will remain after a suspension after the investigation.
• It appears as if ball-doctoring in MLB has meant that the pitchers and teams have taken over "de-juicing" the baseballs, and some believe the rampant use of illegal substances, even in the face of an MLB crackdown, is what's responsible for the historic feeble stats of the first two months.
• In evidence, the Dodgers did score 9 runs yesterday in beating the Braves 9-5.  However, they were on 4 hits, 9 walks, an error, and two wild pitches.  Outside the eight-run fifth and the ninth, in which they scored one run, they didn't get a hit in any other inning.  Any interesting comparison stats would require a subscription to Baseball Reference's rotisserie searches (thanks, but no thanks...).
• The good news:  Major League Baseball is partnering with all 30 teams to give a free ticket to a game to anyone who gets vaccinated for the coronavirus.
• The bad news, like it appears some of the incentives:  You can't have been vaccinated for the coronavirus beforehand.
• Fucking REALLY, people???  Look, some of us busted our asses and did the right thing without prompting, and yet more than just I are beginning to think being a petualant QOP DICK about things forces more bribes onto the table.  California just gave away it's first 15 $50,000 lottery prizes for vaccinated residents of the state (though, in that case, nothing needed to be done -- all people vaccinated already were in the pool).  And a lot of us aren't asking for much.  Maybe the game ticket here and the $50 gift card there, etc., if this is how things are gonna go...   
• Speaking of dicks, Floyd Mayweather and YouTuber Jake Paul are supposed to fight this weekend.  Really.  Seriously.
• Terry Stotts was fired yesterday as coach of the Portland Trail Blazers.  Four years out of the last five, out in the first round.
• Jon Rahm had a six-shot lead and was cruising at the annual Memorial Tournament in Ohio....
• ... before he was defeated...  by a positive coronavirus test.
• The Sultan's horse, Essential Quality, finally gets an arm of the Triple Crown, winning the Belmont Stakes.