All Right, Let's Catch Up: With Hits Like This, Who Needs Football?

Deadspin will often try to find some of the most ridiculous football stories (more, case studies for the abolition of the sport)...

While the blog was working on the burgeoning race riot that is the NFL and the National Anthem protests, they found at least two worthy of mention:

On the field:  Dateline:  Tennessee

Sevier County is playing Gibbs High when Jeff Bersch decides he's had enough of a Gibbs High opponent and channels his inner Batista.

This really just happened at the Sevier County/Gibbs High School football game in TN tonight! Are we in the WWE or High School football??? pic.twitter.com/EtwenPQWXT

— Jonathan Crompton (@jcromp8) September 30, 2017

He was tossed and had to sit this week's game under the 1+1 Rule.

Off the field:  Dateline:  Buffalo/Finger Lakes Area, New York

In what has to simultaneously be one of the more bizarre, and yet completely expected, cancellations of a football program in recent memory, Geneseo High School (NY) was forced to cancel it's entire season when it found that seven of it's players had taken stolen Oxycontin before a contest!

One of the players had stolen the drugs from his parents' house, and the seven were found to have taken the drug before the one game they played.

Other players on the team told on them, and the season was axed as a result.  The player who procured the drugs has been charged with three counts of child endangerment.  (There would've been more, but the charge requires the "victim" to be under 17, and only three of the players were 17.)

I would assert this probably has been followed by under-the-table beatings for the snitches.