My all-too-brief NFL preview for 2015...

I wish to start this "preview" with one fact:

When I post this, this will be post #329 for the year, and #30 for September.

And the real "fun" hasn't started yet.  Now we get to the real injurious and damaging shit, and not just on the field.  Isn't that right, all you husbands who are going to kick the shit out of your wives when your team is 0-1 after this week?

(And there will be many, trust me on that one.)

Many of my predictions are not going to have anything to do with the results.  There are several reasons for this:

1) I've done shockingly-little research on the teams this year.
2) Because of not only external blowback, but my internal feelings on the equation, I'm not sure right now how much the results matter.  You'll see how in a second.
3) I don't think I can make a concrete Super Bowl call right now.  I think that there are, more than usually so, things that have to play out first (especially after the Spygate article) before I can.  I can give guesses only, but this is more so than in previous years.

So, with, as I type this, an hour and a half before the collective national orgasm of violence begins, here are at least a few semi-random predictions I'm going to make:

1) Someone is going to die -- on an NFL field during a game -- in 2015.

This is first and foremost.  This nation is going to a very dark place, and football (if this first weekend of college and whatever weekend of high-school it was is any indication) is getting a pretty damn good head start!

We have been very lucky not to have someone get their neck directly snapped on the NFL level.  Many people, if the national bloodlust that comes directly from defending football is evident, want this to happen.  They may not SAY it, but by defending football and it's injurious ways, it's clear they want it.

2) Someone is going to die OFF THE FIELD in 2015 as well!

Speaking as someone with a rather unique perspective on the situation, the boiling tempest of people getting angry at their teams (I'm looking as much at you, Packer Fan for not realizing that onside kick was wrestling-level booked, not just rigged!, as I am Bear Fan with Jay Cutler!!) and players is going to boil over and go beyond what has been evident so far.

I give two examples of where we're going apeshit directly:  That idiot in Texas who destroyed his apartment/house over the MNF loss to the Redskins (and will never live it down as a result!), and the rise of Millionaire Maker Weekly Fantasy, especially for Week 1.

Someone is going to not get the result they desire and some player is going to pay the ultimate price.  We've seen too much "talk" and "chatter" over the course of previous years not to believe some jackass isn't going to take violent action.

3) If you think the ESPN Spygate article was bad, that's just the beginning.

Who thought we'd get more Ray Rice on Monday (ending) of Week 1?

How about Adrian Peterson 72 hours later??

There's more.  And, given what we now have in the sports media, we're going to find out.

4) Intentional injuries will pockmark discussion of the game over the course of the season more than ever, and fines will be down and suspensions non-existant.

I truly believe that, whether players are "part of the booking" or whether it's just a matter of personal pride (or whether it's part of being a brain-damaged animal because of several too many shots to the head!!!), you'd have to think the way the sport has been presented, especially in the last couple years, would piss someone off to take a cheapie at a Rodgers or a Brady or a Wilson or Lynch or Sherman or whatever.

And the fines will not be there (and I'll be watching!), and no suspension under the current CBA is basically legal anymore.

5) I guess I can give my for-the-record predictions:

The AFC is a real crapshoot, and I really can't make a pick until I get one question answered:  Will Tom Brady finish the season as New England's starting quarterback, or will someone intentionally cripple him first?

(And I do believe that's an either-or.  I could see some fan in a visiting stadium (try the tempest Rex Ryan is building in Buffalo for one!) trying it!)

So I really have to come with two predictions:  There are a lot of people talking Miami in the AFC East (and with the culture that Suh will bring to that defense, it's little wonder why!).  The only way, however, that anyone but New England wins the AFC East (and probably the AFC title as well!) is if Brady is carted off, season (if not career) over!

So:

AFC East:  New England
AFC North:  Pittsburgh's getting a lot of love, and might get a payback for doing the job tonight.
AFC South:  Indianapolis, natch.
AFC West:  Denver by default.

Wildcards:  Miami and San Diego.  Buffalo and Cincinnati will get aced out near the end.

I'll predict Indianapolis definitely to the title game, with the rematch happening (in Foxboro again!) if Brady isn't put out.

If Brady makes it to the Super Bowl, it's New England again.  If not, then Indianapolis gets the payback.

NFC East:  Dallas.
NFC North:  I'm really hedging Minnesota here.  A lot will be told in Fail Mary at Lambeau in Week 2, though.  Green Bay wins that, they rocket to the Super Bowl favorites a lot of people think they are (but I don't!!).  I just really believe that Adrian Peterson, that child-beating homophobe, is a perfect representative for the WWNFL Roger Goodell has created.  I would not be surprised if Minnesota, Green Bay, and Detroit all go 10-6, with Minnesota winning the three-way tiebreaker with a victory over Green Bay in the annual "Win and In" FOX game in Week 17.
NFC South:  As much as New Orleans may be seen as past their prime, I've been seeing far too much "10th Anniversary of Katrina and the Saints" stuff not to pick them.
NFC West:  Seattle

Wildcards:  Detroit and Philadelphia will tiebreaker out Green Bay.

Title game will be Dallas vs. Seattle.  This, too, comes down to the angle they will be playing by the time we get there.  If New England gets back, I could see the rematch OR the ultra-corporate New England/Dallas matchup (which is what I thought several weeks ago!).  If New England doesn't, I could see Dallas going over here.

But, as I said, I can't make a Super Bowl pick right now, because there are too many variables still in the air.