WHAT A FUCKING JOKE: Part Two, More ClASS out of Texas A&M

Saw this one on Yahoo! this morning!

Couldn't believe it actually took place, but, apparently, the dipshit did it TWICE!

Texas A&M played in the Liberty Bowl yesterday against West Virginia, and, for (at least) the third time this bowl season, we've had a major incident.

A student assistant has been tossed from the Aggie program for throwing TWO cheap shots at West Virginia players during the Liberty Bowl.  This person is a former player who broke his neck, and, obviously, it sounds like far more than that, in his football career.

He did both incidents in the first half, and was banned from the field by the Aggies for the second.


The first incident was RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING LINESMAN!  (about 4:30 to go in the second quarter)

The second, on the succeeding series, was the same jackass belting someone in the back of the head!

WHAT A FUCKING JOKE: Part One, Suh's Suspension GONE

Took them to Tuesday, I see...

But, for at least the second time in his NFL career, confirmed NFL thug Ndamokung Suh has had his suspension overturned, and he will play Sunday against Dallas.

He will be fined $70,000 for the incident, however.

--

I really want to know what it's going to take to rid the league of specifically Ndamokung Suh...

Is it going to take an incident, be it player or fan, where the son of a bitch gets crippled for life?

--

I've had a person tell me, twice now, that he does not believe that New England will be the AFC's choice.

If not, I think we're down to Baltimore and Pittsburgh, two teams with a long history of thugging it up.

Because it's clear what the fans want -- pain, injury, and DEATH to the other team.

Suspension Blotter: Is This Suh's THIRD now?

It's at least two vs. the Packers, as Ndamokung Suh has been suspended for the first playoff game against Dallas for stomping on Aaron Rodgers.

No, it's his second, but could just as easily be his fourth!

Minimum of the playoffs, and then he has an off-season series of meetings with the league to determine what happens in 2015.

You think this knucklehead is going to change for you, especially as you glorify the SeaThugs?

The only damn reason Detroit went 11-5 this year was Thuganomics.

I guess it's time to get out of Dallas' way.

2014 NFL Regular Season Predictions Went Wrong Where???

Yeah, I guess we gotta do this one too.

So where did I screw up back in August-early September?

Again, I do not recall making any effort to make the "numbers work", for 256 wins and 256 losses.

AFC East:

New England (Predicted 12-4, Went 12-4!):  A bit surprised, but Old Reliable is being brought out of the mothballs for another one, probably to be the "face" to Seattle's "heel" in Super Bowl XLIX.

Jets (Predicted 8-8, Went 4-12):  Rex Ryan IS being fired tomorrow, as is the GM.  This is going to be an abject blood-letting of firings and resignations tomorrow among teams who did not make the playoffs, and this joke of a franchise needs one of the biggest house-cleanings outside Cleveland.

Miami (Predicted ~8-8, Went 8-8!!):  Yep, the ol' 8-8 melange for Miami again.

Buffalo (Predicted 4-12, Went 9-7):  The NFL paying it's respects to Ralph Wilson, and paying it's thanks to the owner of the Sabres for keeping the team in Buffalo, for reasons I do not understand.

AFC North:  Three teams in the playoffs from here.

Cincinnati (Predicted 11-5, Went 10-5-1):  And a BAD 10-5-1 at that!

Baltimore (Predicted ~8-8, Went 10-6) and Pittsburgh (Predicted ~8-8, Went 11-5):  Both teams did more than expected, and one has to wonder if the moving up of Thug Life in the NFL has resulted in at least mini-pushes for both of these franchises.

Cleveland (Predicted 6-10, Went 7-9)...  somehow.  Be that as it is, Cleveland is probably going to be Ground Zero for one of the biggest explosions in the NFL in the early off-season.  I cannot see the owner keeping the GM, Manziel, Gordon, or much of anything else that took a promising season in Cleveland and blew it to shreds.

AFC South:

Indianapolis (Predicted 11-5, Went 11-5!):  Andrew Luck is still money for the NFL, until better options come along (all of which exist outside the AFC South).

Tennessee (Predicted 7-9, Went 2-14 and the #2 Draft Pick):  Ouch.  Fire Mike Munchak and the coaching staff last year after 7-9, and now you have to do it all over again.  Take much of this roster with it.  Seriously.  Tennessee, as a market, has less to offer a corporate/thug NFL than Green Bay!

Houston (Predicted 6-10, Went 9-7):  I guess someone had to win some games in that division other than Indy!

Jacksonville (Predicted 3-13, Went 3-13!!):  And that wasn't even last in the division.  Now, the problem is, with no team going to LA, chances are Jacksonville is stuck and in more ways than just it's present location!

AFC West

Denver (Predicted 11-5, Went 12-4): Well, the Manning Express rolls on, and he's probably coming back next year.

San Diego (Predicted 10-6, Went 9-7)...  somehow.  Many believe some of that was a push for a new San Diego stadium, especially now that the LA option is off the table.

Kansas City (Predicted 8-8, Went 9-7)  I didn't do that badly on the AFC, I see.

Oakland (Predicted 4-12, Went 3-13):  For what I have to hope is the last season of football in a decaying city.  Move the team, change the name, legacy, and reputation.  Flush this franchise to a new start in San Antonio as the Wranglers or something to that effect.

Playoff order:

Predicted:  NE, DEN, IND, CIN, SD, NYJ (the last in an 8-8 mess)
Actual:  NE, DEN, PIT, IND, CIN, BAL

Not too bad, but could've been slightly better.

NFC East

Philadelphia (Predicted 10-6, Went 10-6!)... and out of the playoffs.  Now, will they make the same mistake Chicago made, and hasn't recovered from?  Nike U is paying dividends in Philadelphia, and the push will continue as long as Nike U has an arm in there.

Giants (Predicted 9-7, Went 6-10):  And that should FINALLY do it for the coach.  There have been several years that the Giants have come within about one more loss to firing Tom Coughlin, then they inexplicably rally.  This year, no rally came.

Dallas (Predicted 7-9, Went 12-4):  One of my biggest misses.  That said, one really has to wonder if this is finally the year the corporate end of the NFL gives Romo and Jerry Jones the push many believed they were going to get for a while.  Cooperation on certain "league issues" came into play here.

Washington (Predicted 4-12, Went 4-12!!):  Change the nickname, or that team is never relevant again.  Also, only one of the coach and Mr. Griffin III are staying, at maximum.

NFC North

Green Bay (Predicted 10-6, Went 12-4), and it won't matter a damned bit.  Season ended in Week 1, period.  Making them sacrificial lambs for the SeaThugs basically set the entire season in motion.  Either Rodgers or Romo is going to have their career significantly shortened, if not ended, by the Thugs in these playoffs.  The NFL has another plan, Packers fans, and you ain't gonna like it.  Better Dallas comes to Lambeau and beats you than you have to suffer another run like you did against the Cowboys in the 90's.

Chicago (Predicted ~8-8/9-7, Went 5-11):  How'd firing Lovie Smith go for you guys???  That's going to be the scene of another of the biggest explosions this early off-season.

Detroit (Predicted ~6-10/7-9, Went 11-5):  Another of my bigger misses, and that's easy:  Basic Thuganomics in the NFL.  A little surprised the Packers went over this week for the division.  Detroit, given Goodell's vision, might actually have been a better choice.

Minnesota (Predicted 5-11, Went 7-9????):  Wow, didn't see that one coming, especially after the Adrian Peterson debacle!!!

NFC South, U-G-L-Y, You ain't got no alibi...

New Orleans (Predicted 11-5, Went 7-9):  There are some serious problems in all four of these franchises.  New Orleans may have been so gutted from Bounty-Gate that they might not recover for several more years, and that's even WITH the star power of Drew Brees.

Carolina (Predicted 10-6, Went 7-8-1, and won the division):  For the second time, we have a team with a losing record winning the division.  Now, can they beat Arizona?  My guess:  $Cam will find a way.

Atlanta (Predicted 8-8, Went 6-10):  Another place where I could see some major fire.

Tampa Bay (Predicted 5-11, Went 2-14 and will draft Rapeis Winston with the #1 pick):  They either need to get someone down in Tampa and figure out if that's a savable franchise or move the team...  Dysfunction and incompetence all over the place.

NFC West

Seattle (Predicted 13-3, Went 12-4):  Still got the #1 seed, and that's all that matters.  Definite Dysfunction in the SeaThugs, and, as I've been told by others as well, I think the league tapped some shoulders in Seattle and showed them pictures of them holding two consecutive Lombardis.  The only remaining question, IMHO, is how many quarterbacks do they take out to get the second one?  There's an appetizing list...

Arizona (Predicted 11-5, Went 11-5!!):  And I even got their playoff position right!  And the reason, probably, too...

San Francisco (Predicted 7-9, Went 8-8):  There's problems on both sides of the Bay that I think the NFL needs a look into.  This situation in San Francisco has gone from toxic to ridiculous.  Harbaugh is gone, and I think they may (only figuratively) only be able to get Joe Schmo from the stands to coach them every week -- no one's going to want that job!

St. Louis (Predicted 5-11, Went 6-10):  See Jacksonville, but a bit better of situation.

Predicted Playoff Order:  SEA, NO, PHI, GB, ARI, CAR
Actual:  SEA, GB, DAL, CAR, ARI, DET

So a few more goofs in the NFC.

2014 Final Regular Season Score Report

So we finally end one unholy FUBAR of an NFL season.

Let's go over Week 17 first.

• Per-game average for the week:  41.5.
• Although 12 games were competitive into the 4th quarter (a couple only barely, one by only four seconds)...
• Only ONE game was decided by a score in the final two minutes -- and that was New Orleans giving Tampa Bay the #1 Draft Pick!!!  Touchdown just inside the two minutes, safety a little while after for the three-point win.
• The over was 6-10.
• Home teams were 9-7, including the games sealing the top two NFC seeds and the Sunday nighter.  In fact, the last five games to finish were won by the home team.
• Home teams were called for more penalties in 7 of the 16 games.
• Over another penalty fewer a game this week.  179 in 16 games, just over 11 a game.
• Winning teams only averaged about 5 penalties apiece.  Pittsburgh had one, Denver had one, Seattle (and New Orleans) had two, Green Bay and Indianapolis (and Minnesota) had four.
• Team with more penalties this week was 3-10-3.  Anyone thinking there was some messages in those last two statements?
• Team with more Points of Emphasis accepted fouls was 5-8-3.
• Included in those eight losses for more PoE fouls were the last five games played -- the same last five the home teams all won, including Seattle and Green Bay securing the byes and Pittsburgh winning the AFC North Sunday night.

So here's you're 2014 in Review as far as the score report goes:

• For the first time since I started these charts (I believe this is the fourth year.), the NFL did NOT break their scoring record for points per game.  Last year, they averaged 46.707 per game for the season.  This year's average?  45.1875.  Almost a field-goal lower than last year.

You have to go back three seasons to 2011 to get back that low.

Some other interesting points on the direct scoring:

• Through ten weeks, the average was at 46.68.  The last seven weeks averaged 43.17 points per game.
• In what I believe to be no coincidence, the SeaThugs' last loss was in Week 11.  Their last six games (all wins), they gave up three points twice, six points twice, seven points, and fourteen points in wins over 10-6 Philly, 11-5 Arizona (twice), 8-8 San Francisco (twice) and St. Louis.
• Twice this year, Weeks 11 and 15, the average couldn't even reach 38.

Now we take a look at the final numbers about Cliffhanger and Competitive Games:

• Last year, 56 out of 256 games were decided in the last two minutes and overtime, in that the game-winning score (or, if applicable, no score at all) occurred then.
• This year, only 40 such games occurred, 15.625% of all contests.

One of the biggest stories of this season is going to be the struggle the NFL had with the off-the-field issues, and this is one great example.  The NFL LOVES to glue butts to seats with nailbiting cliffhangers, and they just didn't happen this year.

Although one week had six such encounters, three weeks had none at all.

• The NFL reported last year that 68% of all games were within one score at some point in the fourth quarter (and, in their case, that's seven points or less), with 48% of all games decided by that amount.
• I took the situation to eight points, and found that only 62.89% of all games were eight points or within at some point in the fourth quarter.  That's 161/256.
• And, as for games decided by eight or less, that was only 107/256, or 41.79%.

Another piece of prima facie evidence the league was having more trouble with the off-field stuff than anyone will ever care to admit to you on NFL shill-dom.

If you bet money on the scoring going up this year, you had a very bad year:

• The over was 117-135-2 with 2 middles this year.  If you bet the over on one unit for every game this year and laid off the middles, you'd have lost 28.636 units.

After ten weeks, the over was 76-68-1!  Meaning that, for the last seven weeks of the year, the average week was no better than 6-10 for the over.  Again, telling us something, NFL?

• A statistic I stopped tracking, and shouldn't have.  National games (meaning Thursday night, Sunday night, Monday night, and the three on Thanksgiving and the Saturday before Christmas) totaled fifty games on this year's schedule.
• Only one cliffhanger before week 8 on all of it, the first 22 games.
• Second one in week 8, third in week 12, one more in week 13, and two of the pre-Christmas Saturday ones.
• Meaning only TWELVE PERCENT of the national games (full-nation) were cliffhangers, SIX out of the 50.
• Conversely, HALF of those fifty games were over before the fourth quarter even started.

Home-field advantage worked wonders in the NFL this season.

• With the third week in a row that the home teams went 9-7, the home team went 148-103-1 in the 252 non-neutral games (three in London, one moved to Detroit).   .589 winning percentage at home.

Green Bay was 8-0, Detroit, Seattle, and Arizona all 7-1.
Denver was 8-0, New England 7-1.

• Home teams were called for more penalties in 108 of the 252 games, only a little more than 40% of the time.  There were 24 games in which both teams got called for the same number.

Other penalty numbers:

• 3,385 accepted penalties were called this season.  That's an average of about  13 1/4 penalties a game.
• Winning teams got called for 19 more penalties than losing teams.
• The team with more penalties won 113 games, lost 118, with 24 ending drawn on the penalty count.
• 728 fouls on the noted 2014 Points of Emphasis (penalties designed to increase the passing game) were accepted this year. Many more were declined!  The average was only about 3 a game, but there was a much higher correlation of winning if you got fewer of those penalties called against you than fewer penalties in general.

And the rest of the fines I could find for Week 16...

One note:  It appears that the count of relevant (that is, playoff-relevant) Week 17 games is...  only ten!!  With only two spots left for teams not already clinched (NFC South between Carolina (6-8-1) and Atlanta (6-9) and the AFC's second wild-card), that number seems low.

Anyway, back to the Naughty List:

A big second-quarter brawl between the Giants and Rams resulted in five fines:

• New York Giants:  Preston Parker
• New York Giants:  DiMontre Moore:  $15,000 each for participating and getting tossed.
• St. Louis Rams:  William Hayes:  $10,000 for participating and getting tossed.
• New York Giants:  Odelle Beckham  $10,000 for retaliating against...
• St. Louis Rams:  Alec Ogletree, who got the least of all of them, $8,268, for the late hit out of bounds that started the whole shit-fest.

THREE OTHER GIANTS were also fined in the game.

• Cullen Jenkins:  $16,537 for roughing the passer, driving the Ram quarterback into the ground.
• Josh Brown, $8,268 for kicking another player during a fracas.  He's the kicker for the Giants.
• Zak DeOssie also was flagged for a late hit on the same play, and fined $8,268.

That's over $75,000 for the Giants alone.

•  Houston Texans:  Brian Cushing:  $16,537 for roughing the passer.
• St. Louis Rams:  Eugene Sims:  $16,537 for roughing the passer.
• Detroit Lions:  Ezekiel Ansah:  $22,050 for a blatant helmet shot to the Bears quarterback, giving Jimmy Clausen a season-ending concussion.  You got off light, son.

In what almost certainly is going to be a point of emphasis next year, here's three more $22,050 fines for abuse of the official:

• Chicago Bears:  Martellus Bennett
• San Francisco 49ers:  Joe Staley
• Oakland Raiders:  Justin Tuck

Continuing:

• San Francisco 49ers:   Anquan Boldin:  $10,000 for the defenseless player rule.
• Kansas City Chiefs:  Vance Walker:  $8,268 for a leg whip.

That's almost a quarter-mil there.

"Beast Mode" Thugging It Up Again

Only fine so far on Spotrac was made public a couple days back, when "Beast Mode" Marshawn Lynch of the Seathugs got fined $11,050 for grabbing his crotch after a long touchdown run against Arizona, a run reminiscent of the Quake Run.


They're not letting up til Seattle goes back-to-back, are they?

Peace on Earth, Good Will To All... Unless You Think The Lakers Are Better Without Kobe

(hat-tip to my anonymous friend again)

There are days that we see such stupidity in the world that it leaves good people to say "I don't want to live on this planet anymore."

It's even worse when it's local.

Deadspin, today, reports on an altercation in Temecula, California.

A self-professed "OG by circumstance, not by choice" drove 35 minutes to Temecula to throw hands with another Twitter user because latter Twitter user said the Lakers were better without Kobe.

(Oh, let's never mind the Lakers -- without Kobe! -- beat the, to date, best team in the NBA earlier this week.)

And you can see it develop for yourself.

Where's CPS, because this "OG" says he's also a dad.

"Man Code", right??

Erp.  Merry Fucking Christmas...

EDIT:  According to an unscientific ESPN poll, there are at least another 220,000 people (55% of those answered as of about 9:20 PM Pacific Christmas night) that he needs to kick ass on.

Score Update Week 16

Bye, Denver.

See ya, Green Bay...

Only question now is who joins Seattle, Dallas, and New England in the final four.

Anyway, score update...

• More normal week in Week 16:  45.8125 for the 16 games for the week.
• But with one week to go in the season, the per-game season average is 45.43, about a point and a third lower than last year.
• 12 of the 16 games were competitive into the fourth quarter.
• Three of them were decided in the last two minutes and overtime.  Washington beat Philly with 5 seconds left.  San Diego beat San Francisco Saturday night in overtime.  And Miami beat Minnesota with 41 seconds left with a safety on a blocked punt.
• This means, out of the 240 games played, 39 have been decided with one or more scores in the last two minutes and overtime, 16.25%.
• 102 of the 240 have been decided within one score.  That's 42.5%, down from 48% last year.
• 151 games have been within a score at some point (what I call "competitive") into the fourth quarter.  That's 62.91%, down from 68% last year.
• The over was 6-9 this week.  111-125-1 with 3 undetermined, including a middle this week for that column (the first Saturday game, Washington-Philadelphia was anywhere 50-52, ended total 51.)
• Home teams were 9-7 this week, again -- same as last week.  139-96-1 for the year, with four neutral site games.
• Home teams were only called for more penalties this week in TWO of the sixteen games, by far the least of the season.  101 of the 236 games have had that happen.
• About a penalty and a half fewer a game this week than last -- a half penalty less than two weeks ago.
• Team with more penalties was 7-7-2 this week -- same as last week!  110-108-21 for the year.
• Team with more PoE fouls was 6-5-5 this week, including wins in the last five games finished.  82-97-72 for the year.

Football Disease: Even More Contagious Than The Mumps

(Sorry, NHL.)

Anyway, several recent football idiocies:

• This one got snuck under most people, but I caught it on FOX Sports 1:  The painkiller lawsuit with many prominent ex-NFLers, dismissed last week.  What a fucking shock.
• Also, in the latest example of someone whose brains are probably already too scrambled to have a workable life:  Deadspin reported Chad Kelly of a Mississippi community college got into a scrape at a nightclub with some bouncers...
• ... after which he said he would go to his car, get an AK-47, and gun down the place.  Gee, shithead, a few too many brain concussions already?  He was already thrown off the Clemson team, and if his uncle wasn't Jim Kelly (yes, THAT Jim Kelly!), he's probably done with a lot more than football right now.
• And if you want a good example of why I say the shot on a "a few too many brain concussions already", here's Jimmy Clausen yesterday...

Concussion, out for Week 17, and probably a lot more.  That Lion?  Playing for the division title next weekend -- and, if that hit is any indication with what the league is doing (and they do what I think they're going to do), winning the division title next weekend!

• And that wasn't the only incident in Bears-Lions....   Dominic Raiola of the Lions has been suspended for the Packer showdown for the division for repeatedly and intentionally attempting to break the ankle of Ego Ferguson of the Bears by stomping on it.

• Another bowl game, another incident!  BYU and Memphis in the "Beach Bowl".  (Yeah, that's another of the thirty-eight bowl games...)  And this to end it, courtesy of KSL, Salt Lake City, Utah...

That probably wasn't even the bulk of the brawl!

No, as my friend says (and hat-tip for several of these to said anonymous friend!), it isn't "a few bad apples".  THIS IS FOOTBALL, America.

And if we need any more example as to how out-of-control Football Nation America is...

They finally took a clue from the soccer hooligans.


The Raycom Media Camellia Bowl (yes, that's what that ESPN special was called) was interrupted in the second half in Birmingham, Alabama when the line judge was struck in the leg with an object that the head referee voiced was thrown from the stands.


Birmingham police said no such object was thrown.

Over/Under on when the accuser gets offed because Tallahassee is a football town?

So they didn't even have the fucking guts to convict Rapeis.


FSU "cleared" him today, according to USA Today.


So I guess the countdown can now begin as to when the accuser simply gets offed for inconveniencing football...


According to the article, she does have five class days to appeal.


Since this happened over the winter break, she has until January 13, which happens to be the date of the CFP National Championship Game FSU plays in if they defeat Oregon.

Fine Blotter Week 15

$8,268

• New York Jets:  Willie Colon, Unsportsmanlike Conduct
• New England Patriots:  Brandon Browner, Unsportsmanlike Conduct
• Tennessee Titans:  Jurelle Casey, Striking/Kicking/Kneeing

$10,000

• San Francisco 49ers:  Eric Reed, Late Hit

$11,025

• Miami Dolphins:  Brandon Gibson, Taunting

$16,537

• Cleveland Browns:  Barkevious Mingo, Roughing the Passer
• Green Bay Packers:  Sam Barrington, Horse Collar Tackle

And the biggest fine of the week, in an example of how farcical things have gotten, in multiple ways:

• Washington Redskins:  Santana Moss got thrown out of Sunday's game for an altercation with the officials which appeared far more physical than just verbal.  He only got the $22,050 for non-physical abuse.  Really should've been doubled, at minimum.

Score Update -- Defense Takes Over Week 15

Sorry for the delay -- got a Christmas present I'm trying out.

• I think I'm getting the impression that Green Bay can pack their bags and go home for the season.  The defenses are taking over.  It took two large scores in the Sunday and Monday prime time games just to get the week average to 36.4375 -- it was about 33.7 before then.  Wish I had the old chart with my other computer, so I can know how far back I have to go to get a lesser score.
• We're not breaking the record this year.  Per game average for 15 weeks:  45.406
• Eleven of the sixteen games were competitive into the fourth quarter...
• ... but for the third time this season, NONE were actually decided by a score in the final two minutes or overtime.
• So the 36 such games this year now represent only 16.07% of the total.
• 62.05% of the games this season are within one score at some point in the fourth quarter.  
• There were eight games decided by a score at the end (half the schedule), 41.51% for the year.
• All three figures are down from last year -- the last two were 68% and 48% last year, respectively.
• Thirteen of the sixteen games went under the number this week.  Over is 105-116-1.
• After a great first session, home teams were only 9-7 for the week.  130-89-1 for the year.
• Home team was called for more penalties in 9 of the 16 games -- 99 this year.
• About a penalty more per game this week than last.
• Team with more penalties was 7-7-2 this week.  103-101-19 for the year.
• Team with more PoE fouls was 5-6-5.  76-90-67
• Hence, it appears that there is more a correlation of teams getting fouls accepted against them for passing situations than for penalties at large to determine who wins and loses...

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like The End of the Football Season

STUPID!

STUPID!!

STUPID!!!

Thanks to my anonymous friend for finding all of these on the daily Stupidity Check...

• The San Francisco 49ers cut Ray McDonald today for embarrassing them.

On top of the domestic violence charges (which it openly took the NFL "fixers" in the local police department to do), Deadspin reports today that a woman has come forward saying McDonald raped her a couple days before.

So McDonald is cut...  for a pattern of bad decision-making.

Take Harbaugh and the 49ers GM with him, because the former is hypocritical and the latter helped the former do just that.

Oh, wait...  It doesn't sound like Harbaugh is going to make the end of the year anyway...

• While still coach of the 49ers, Jim Harbaugh has a $48,000,000 offer to coach at Michigan for six years, Deadspin reports.

FIRE

HIM

NOW.

Don't wait the two weeks.

• More El Stupido:  Deadspin chronicled three irate parents who complained to the FCC...  because the football game showed Tom Brady, upset with himself late in the first quarter of a game a couple weeks, saying "FUCK!"...

Note, there was no audio.  Mommy Dearest is a good lip-reader...

So, let's see:  No problems with the wife beaters, the child beaters, the concussions, the debilitating injuries, the thuggish behavior.  Little Johnny can see that all he wants!

And two more from the disintegrating molten heap which was the Chicago Bears...

• Former Bear standout Dan Hampton wants the Bear coaching staff waterboarded.

Why stop there, Dan?

How about run out of town on a rail?

Tarred and feathered?

SHOT???

Of course, that pales in consideration of this Chicago sports television show...

• .... which saw fit to post THIS!

There's no dysfunction at all in Football Nation America, right???

Another FIne Blotter That's Way Too Damn Short (Week 14 2014)

Well, this one is a bit longer, but, if the list is of any indication of previous weeks, it should be far longer still.

Courtesy of spotrac.com:

$8,268:

• Denver Broncos:  Malik Jackson:  Striking/Kicking/Kneeing
• Washington Redskins:  Frank Kearse:  Face Mask
• New Orleans Saints:  Curtis Lofton
• Carolina Panthers:  Brandon Williams
• Carolina Panthers:  Kelvin Benjamin:  All three for a fight between the two teams.
• Oakland Raiders:  Austin Howard:  Unsportsmanlike Conduct

$10,000:

• New York Giants:  DeMontre Moore:  Roughing the Passer (thought that was a bigger fine)
• Green Bay Packers:  Clay Matthews:  Equipment Violation (apparently a repeat offender for wearing white cleats)

$16,537:

• Kansas City Chiefs:  Tamba Hali:  Roughing the Passer
• Dallas Cowboys:  Tyrone Crawford:  Roughing the Passer
• Arizona Cardinals:  Tommy Kelly:  Roughing the Passer

$22,050:

• Washington Redskins:  Ryan Clark:  Defenseless Player Rule
• Jacksonville Jaguars:  Telvin Smith:  Helmet to Helmet Hit

So How Much Longer Until The Literal Thumbs Up Or Thumbs Down?

(Hat-Tip to my anonymous friend, for not only pulling the article itself, but also some flavor quotes we both felt appropo...)

"The owners of the team. They gave me nothing. They the reason my marriage failed. I worked my ass off all those years, sweating blood, and and puking my soul out and they treat me like a tractor. Roll me around treat me no better then a dog. The guys that got hurt, they never saw a penny out of those monsters."

"Throughout my career, my coach pumped me so full of steroids and hatred, I couldn't feel pain! Shoot, I even break my own leg for fun! They made me play when I was ill or injured, and that was because I was a little more than a piece of meat to them."

Those two quotes were made by BJ Smith, a FICTIONAL CHARACTER played by Lawrence Taylor in the video game Grand Theft Auto:  Vice City.

After reading the latest Deadspin masterpiece, my friend (and any sane person, which should disqualify most of Football Nation America right there!) had but one question:  Whether the player doing the voice acting was actually telling the truth about his experiences with football.

The National Football League Players' Association (read: The Owners' Bitches, for the most part.) has filed a complaint against the New England Patriots (yep, them again -- just on the verge of them possibly being the choice for the AFC for this season...) on behalf of Jonathan Fanene.

The Washington Post has a report stating the NFLPA believes that Fanene, after passing two physicals with the team, had necessary treatment withheld from him so that the team could cut him - that the team doctor withheld treatment as a function of that the team could then claim Fanene was withholding the information so that they could revoke an almost $4 million signing bonus in 2012.

And, worse yet, this was under the advisement of your friend and mine, Belicheat.  The motherfucker coaching this dog and pony show "advised" (more ordered) the team doctor to withhold arthroscopic knee surgery to get Fanene to retire, so the signing bonus would never be paid.

This is your football, America.

If we're going to treat these entities (can't even call them "human beings" until they're being treated as such!) like this, calling it "treating them like pieces of meat" is KIND!

It's not just the obvious that the TEAM doctor only works in the best interests of the TEAM....

It's that I can only ask the question as to how long it's going to be before, at the end of the game, the losing team (or at least one member of) is brought before Emperor Goodell, who does his best Nero and gives the thumbs up or thumbs down...

OK, Let's See How Much Wool Goodell and the Owners Are Pulling Over Our Eyes THIS TIME...

Well, at least they delivered on a new Personal Conduct Policy.

Now, let's see how many "Yeah, right!"s I can throw into it.

Here it is from the league, in .PDF form.

"This policy applies to the Commissioner; all owners; all employees of the NFL, NFL clubs,and all NFL-related entities, including players under contract, coaches, game officials; all rookie players selected in the NFL college draft and all undrafted rookie players, unsigned veterans who were under contract in the prior League Year; and other prospective employees once they commence negotiations with a club concerning employment."
And there's problem #1...

They really need to have a policy in place to deal with situations like the current situation surrounding Jameis Winston. I doubt, quite highly, that Winston would be allowed to play under this Policy.

"Prohibited conduct includes but is not limited to the following:

• Actual or threatened physical violence against another person, including dating violence, domestic violence, child abuse, and other forms of family violence;
•  Assault and/or battery, including sexual assault or other sex offenses;
• Violent or threatening behavior toward another employee or a third party in any workplace setting;
• Stalking, harassment, or similar forms of intimidation;
•  Illegal possession of a gun or other weapon (such as explosives, toxic substances, and the like), or possession of a gun or other weapon in any workplace setting;
•  Illegal possession, use, or distribution of alcohol or drugs;
• Possession, use, or distribution of steroids or other performance enhancing substances;
• Crimes involving cruelty to animals as defined by state or federal law;
• Crimes of dishonesty such as blackmail, extortion, fraud, money laundering, or racketeering; Theft-related crimes such as burglary, robbery, or larceny;
• Disorderly conduct;
• Crimes against law enforcement, such as obstruction, resisting arrest, or harming a police officer or other law enforcement officer;
• Conduct that poses a genuine danger to the safety and well-being of another person; and
• Conduct that undermines or puts at risk the integrity of the NFL, NFL clubs, or NFL personnel.

OK, Mr. Goodell, one question:

This is the problem with your league: Enforce this list of conduct, and I don't think you can find 1,696 professional-level football players to play your games. So how you going to snow us under to ensure the show goes on?

So here's what happens:

1) Upon arrest, the league offers counseling and other related services, paid for by the league. In the case of domestic violence and child abuse and the like, urgent family services of similar types are provided. The player's amenability to such action will be a factor in eventual discipline. OK, makes sense.

2) An investigation is started. A more formal listing of putting players on the Commissioner/Exempt List is formed:

"First, you are formally charged with a crime of violence, meaning that you are accused of having used physical force or a weapon to injure or threaten another person, of having engaged in a sexual assault by force or a sexual assault of a person who was incapable of giving consent, of having engaged in other conduct that poses a genuine danger to the safety or well-being of another person, or of having engaged in animal abuse. The formal charges may be in the form of an indictment by a grand jury, the filing of charges by a prosecutor, or an arraignment in a criminal court."

Which means that the fixers are now going to have to start to work in ways similar to the Santa Clara County Sheriff for the likes of Ray McDonald, are we right, Mr. Commissioner?

At least the one thing which is the case: Now, you're off the field upon any such charge. You're going to be paid, but...

3) The Commissioner CAN come to their own findings on violations of the Policy, irrespective of the guilt or innocence of a player, and does NOT have to conform to the standards of a criminal trial, nor does it mean they are guilty in one, necessarily. Grounds for throwing this out, on Constitutional/Too Big To Fail grounds?

To wit:

You have violated this policy if you have a disposition of a criminal proceeding (as defined), or if the evidence gathered by the league’s investigation demonstrates that you engaged in conduct prohibited by the Personal Conduct Policy. In cases where you are not charged with a crime, or are charged but not convicted, you may still be found to have violated the Policy if the credible evidence establishes that you engaged in conduct prohibited by this Personal Conduct Policy.

4) Initial decisions will be made by someone in the league office, a new discipline head (doesn't sound like this will extend to on-the-field, since the new Policy makes the point that he or she will be "a highly-qualified individual with a criminal justice background."

5) You can be fined, suspended, or thrown out of the league. The new domestic-violence policy has been graduated into this (six games minimum on first offense, thrown out of the league on #2).

TROJAN HORSE.

Bottom line is what I said and bolded above: You actually enforce this, and I can GUARANTEE you that you won't find 1,696 professional-level football players who can or will abide by this.

PERIOD.

Newton Update...

He's out of the hospital.

Neither driver will be charged.

Sounds like your standard accident -- which, of course, probably means we've dodged another bullet -- THIS TIME.

This may well be nothing nefarious, but, given current football fans....

Cam Newton is done for the year, almost certainly.

He has just (literally a little while ago) been involved in a two-vehicle crash, where the truck he was driving was overturned just outside the stadium.

Roof was completely crushed.

Given the circumstances of today's football fans, I can't trust this.

Score Update in Week 14

Hope you liked that Monday night special...

• The 80 points in the Monday nighter were the most in any game since a 51-34 game in Week 8.  Those are the two highest scoring games of the year.
• Week 14 per-game average:  46.8125
• 14 week per-game average:  46.096, about six-tenths below last season's record.
• Ten of the 16 games competitive into the fourth quarter (meaning that, at least at some point in the fourth quarter, the margin was one score (8 points or fewer))
• Only two were decided in the last two minutes or overtime.  Minnesota beating the Jets with an OT touchdown, and Indianapolis besting Cleveland with a TD at 32 seconds.
• 36 such games this year, only 17.3% of the 208 games.
• Three other games finished within one score, and five more were within one score at some point in the fourth quarter.
• Meaning that games within one score at the end are at 40.87%, down from 48% last year.
• Games within a score at some point in the fourth quarter are at 61.54%, down from 68% last year.
• The league needed that 80 Monday night -- the over was only 6-10 for the week, actually making the under now the leaders with 102 overs, 103 unders, and one complete push.  (2 were all over the map)
• Away teams won the first five games of the weekend, seven of the first eight, and made the home teams go only 6-10 this week!  121-82-1 for the year.
• Home team was called for more penalties in 7 of the 16 games, 90/204.
• 208 penalties in 16 games, a full penalty (plus 1/16th) per game less than last week.
• Team with more penalties was 10-6 this week!  96-94-17 for the year.
• Team with more Points of Emphasis Fouls was 6-7-3 this week.  71-84-62 for the year.
• Two AFC West teams led the PoE parade this week with 5 each:  San Diego (who lost), and Oakland (who won, and convincingly!).

Well, they fucked it up at least two ways, this CFP bracket...

First off, Rapeis is IN.  Jameis Winston and Florida State, 13-0 and 28 in a row, get the title shot at #3!

Yes, I said #3.

TCU, #3 last week, beats Iowa State (a dreg, but they did what they were supposed to do) 55-3, and FALLS OUT OF THE PLAYOFF AND TO #6!

Baylor jumps them.

Ohio State jumps them into the playoff.

Florida State jumps them.

Baylor gets #5 for beating TCU, but the problem is evident.

I would think the Committee intelligent enough to know who the teams are playing.

The bracket is clear Money Talks material:  Alabama vs Ohio State in the Sugar, Oregon vs Florida State in the Rose.

But the committee now has to basically say that the Big XII will not be considered a major conference until it joins the other four major conferences with a championship game.

Because that's the only explanation you can give.

And, on top of that, if it's not Rapeis, then why is Florida State number anything-but-one?

Four Years of Absolute Madness, and, Without Consequence For Any of It

I started this blog on October 7, 2010.

This is my 1,000th post to the blog.

And, with zero reservation, I can say that I never believed, when I started this blog over four years ago, we'd be so fucking insane that I'd really have to wonder if it's only that I am not free to make my own decisions that this thing would not be shut down by the police in precisely four weeks.

And that's if they go to Pasadena and not to New Orleans, Jameis!

Put in no uncertain terms, the catharsis and the nature of actually getting this down "on paper" to cool my temper against an out-of-control American Sports Machine is wearing off and rather thin, as we speak.

It didn't start out this way.  The blog simply started as a means to expose a lot of people to the systems of sports rigging in various sports leagues.

I'm no academian.  I'm not a professional.  I'm not nearly as polite as a Brian Tuohy, who has now written two books on the subject and is about to add a book on sports gambling at some point in 2015.

(And I thank Brian for all the help and the kind words the last four years.)

But I'm pissed, and I'm not really sure how much of this stupidity (in or outside of sports) I'm going to be able to take before I violate the Doug Llewellyn Principle (and I hope I was even close to spelling his name right) in taking things into my own hands.

At least, for now, I am freed from having to make that decision, as I am needed to be available for friends and the like, so I really have to use this as my main means of dissemination.

But, boy do things get tempting from time to time.

They get tempting when I literally have to watch people and property get subjugated just because of real (or even fantasy!) sports.  That people's lives literally revolve around ludicrously rigged sporting events, and, when the billions roll in, there's nothing done to basically try to gain any real sense of perspective.

They get tempting when I literally have to do a death post almost every week due to some CTE/concussion-related accident or incident, and have to wonder how many hundreds more go unreported.

They get tempting when I literally watch the sport of football in general anymore.

A sport in which there can be made no mistake:  We're beyond the proverbial "watch the race for the crashes" -- the fans of this sport WANT someone to die on the field, TODAY...

... as long as they wear the other team's uniform.

How TOUGH and HARDCORE would it be (so the braying masses of the circus) to be the man that killed someone on the field.  They'd have the intimidation factor of Ivan Drago, "Death From Above" for his fight with Rocky Balboa...

... never minding the reality that such an act would probably fuck his brain up even more than the concussions did, but the facts never get in the way of a good story now, do they?

Every time I literally sit down and watch a video of some of the hits these animals glorify, and then try to tell the truth, then it's me that's the pussy, pussification of America, all that shit.

We get to a National Football League which honors abuse, encourages illegality, and turns the other cheek (often comically so) when exposed to such.

It's gotten so bad that it is now clear that, if we had laws in this country, there would be no football.

Then we get to the open-faced bigotry endemic in sports, especially football.

But not limited to, as Deadspin's sister blog Fittish reported today.

It's one thing to look at the whole Michael Sam situation and to see the 32 teams circle the wagons to prevent an SEC Defensive Player of the Year from ever playing professional football, just for the "crime" of being gay.

It's another to watch some "family values" fucking hacks try to pollute a state I used to live in (Minnesota) by publishing such tripe that you would have to wonder if the desired result of some of these fucks is nothing short of the "corrective rape" we see in places like South Africa.

They took out a full-page ad stating that "transgender politics" will end girls' sports in Minnesota if the MSHSL (the Minnesota high-school sanctioning body) gets it's way and is able to set forth a set of rules allowing transgender individuals to play in the gender of competition that they identify with.

And, reading the article, it's becoming a long process.

But no.  The "family values" creeps don't want to let it be at that, no.

Forget sincerely held identifications and all.  "You'll be what we want you to be!!", right?

Fuck.  That.  Shit.

First, it's required, bitches.  Title IX.  Live with reality.

Second, the basic problem is that you want it to be what Terry Crews recently defined as Man Code:

• Rape the girls.
• Subjugate the lessers.
• Kill those who need to be eliminated for the greater good.

And that's basically where we are in sports.  And if we aren't going to have a massive disruption because you go one step too far and you get a violent incident at a Rose Bowl or at a Finals or at a World Series, we better put a stop to a lot of what MANHOOD has become.

Else, you get people with nothing to lose, and you know what comes next.

And, at the rate we're going, they're damn well going to get it.  Especially if the perpetrator has had his head bashed in so much he doesn't know up from down.

But the real problem I see is that none of this has any real consequences.

It is basically to the point, in this country (in far more than just sports), it's not what you do, it's who you are and how important you are and whose dick you're willing to suck.

This is why I cannot take this Title IX Sham Trial in Tallahassee any degree of seriously.  A "conviction" gives back a Heisman and at least one national title.

This is why I believe the National Football League is going to abolish all player-conduct penalties (on and off the field!) because people want heads taken off on the field, and expect them to take whatever they want (consensual or otherwise) off of it!

I guess I should thank a few more people, and then start the next thousand...

My anonymous friend who contributes countless material, and has such a good external bullshit detector that I could not do this blog without.  Thank you, my friend.

To my few readers, whether or not you do this for comedy or take it seriously, thanks for reading.

To people like Declan Hill and Brian Tuohy and NFLRanking:  We must keep up the fight.  Especially as all sense of decency and honor deteriorates to a limit of zero, you can do it with far more aplomb than this pissed-off forty-something who really has to wonder what's coming next...

To people like Bob Ley and Outside the Lines:  Shocked ESPN has let you go this long.

To Keith Olbermann:  Ditto.

I know there's many I forgot, and a couple who wouldn't want to be included, but, without all of you, this isn't possible.

So, now, off to the second thousand.

"Por la Razón o la Fuerza"

"By reason or by force..." -- the national motto of the country of Chile, and somewhere I fear we are at now, with reason leaving the playing field at alarming levels.

Fine Blotter Week 13

Being pushed below the 1,000th post.

• Kansas City Chiefs:  Travis Kelce:  $11,000 for an inappropriate gesture (the jack-off symbol) on camera.

He's lucky. In the NHL, that'd be a two-game suspension.  And even in the NFL, that is abuse of the official.

• Buffalo Bills:  Nigel Bradham, $16,537 for the defenseless player rule.
• Arizona Cardinals:  Drew Butler:  $8,268 for a face mask.  He's the PUNTER.
• Chicago Bears:  Willie Young:  $8,268 for a face mask.
• Cleveland Browns:  John Greco:  $8,268 for a late hit.
• Carolina Panthers:  Josh Norman:  $11,025 for a uniform violation.
• Atlanta Falcons:  William Moore $22,050 for the defenseless player rule.

Score Update for Week 13, as we start Week 14

This is officially post 1,001, but it's being dropped below post 1,000.

Never got to the score update this week.  Blame a crazy week.

• Per-game for Week 13:  48 points per game, even.
• Per-game for the 192 games so far:  46.036, about two-thirds of a point lower than last year's final.
• Of the sixteen games this week, only SEVEN were competitive into the fourth quarter!
• Three were decided in the last two minutes:  Jacksonville's second, San Diego staying alive, and the Monday nighter with Miami subduing the Jets.
• 34 such games this season, an average of about 17.71%.
• Three other games were decided within a score, but only one further game got within a score at some point in the fourth quarter.
• Games within a score at the end are at 41.67%, down from 48% last year.
• Games within a score at some point in the fourth are at 61.46%, down from 68% last year.
• Over was 9-7 for the week, 96-93-1 for the year.  Vegas is the only winner here.
• Home teams were 9-7 after a slow start.  115-72-1 for the year.
• Home teams were called for more penalties in 7 of the games, with several more tied.  83/192
• 225 penalties in the 16 games, about 14 a game.  That's another about half a penalty more a game than last week.
• Teams with more penalties were 5-6-5.  86-88-17 for the year.
• PoE:  Team with more PoE passing situation penalties was 6-8-2 for the week, 65-77-59 for the year.

Some interesting penalty numbers:

• Could Seattle's push be due to the return of the LoB?  Fourteen penalties accepted against the Hags versus San Francisco, SF only had 3!  Seattle won the showdown 19-3, even though they had SIX Points of Emphasis fouls accepted.   (Season high is 7, by the Giants in a Week 2 loss to Arizona!)
• They weren't alone with 6 PoE penalties:  Baltimore had six in the home loss to San Diego.
• Both Seattle and Baltimore had 14 penalties accepted against them apiece.  Three of the early games had over 20 penalties.  The showdown in Green Bay only had eight.
• Season high for a team in a game is 16.  (San Francisco, Week 2 Sunday night vs. Chicago, loss)
• That game also had the most penalties for both teams this year, 26.  Cincinnati-Tampa had 23 this week.

A bunch of catch-all...

Will have to do the score report for last week in a bit.

This is post #999.  So, obviously, I'm going to have to have a 1,000th post that, on some level, is going to be something introspective or the like.

Anyhow, before we get there, though, some news:

• Torii Hunter is a flaming bigot.

That, in and of itself, is not really news.

How far he's willing to go for it might be a challenge for outgoing Commissioner Selig and incoming Commissioner Manfred, though.

You see, a reporter at Hunter's press conference did the following, according to Deadspin:

"Torii Hunter is an anti-gay bigot. This is something he has proven with his own words on multiple occasions. Yesterday, at the press conference to announce the one-year, $10.5 million deal he signed to return to the Minnesota Twins, beat writer Mike Berardino of the Saint Paul Pioneer-Press asked him about those beliefs—specifically, in the context of how Hunter thought supporting Arkansas Republican Governor-elect Asa Hutchinson in his recent election had affected his free agency."

In short, guy's doing his job, right?

He got this response:

"You got some people who are just messy, you know? So, no. It is something I don't like to talk about, but Republican Party, Democratic Party, separated, divided we fall. Simple as that. We just go with the best person that's good for the situation. And I'm from Arkansas and I know what's that, that's all. This has nothing to do with being a Democrat or a Republican, just make sure you make the right decision. That's it."

Then the mask completely came off, and it was on against Berardino:

"Hey Mike is kind of a prick huh? No, seriously, you're a prick man. I don't even know you. You're a prick. Seriously. Ain't nothing wrong with that man, that's your job. He's definitely a prick though."

So it's a prick to be a human being.

And you must think someone like Adam Silver is a complete prick.

I really hope that there is a massive prick somewhere in the MLB Commissioner's Office.  He does that in the NBA, and he's probably suspended.

We don't need your asshole in sports, you fucking bigoted prick.

• Another week, more Jameis Winston garbage.

Well, this is it.  About all his victim is ever going to get:  Winston's sham Title IX trial with FSU is this week.

It might as well be a trial with a racist group for lynching someone of an opposite race.

More Deadspin here:

Now it's Jameis Winston who feels raped.

Enough.

Fucking...  enough.

It's gotten so bad with this motherfucker that my anonymous friend (who gets a hat-tip for pointing out both of these) openly questions not if the accuser will be dead, but only how it goes down:  Suicide or homicide?

Here's your new face of football, Football Nation America.  And it's so bad that I openly have to wonder if the most prescient comment about the state of football (though he was talking about something much more) was made by the new host of Who Wants To Be a Millionaire, Terry Crews...

"I get a lot of guys who are like, "You know, that's good, man. That's cool," and I also get guys who are like, "What are you DOING?"...It's like, what is the big deal? But it's [that I'm] telling. [I'm] telling. "It's MAN CODE, dude. Man Code! C'mon."...but does Man Code work when it's your daughter who gets raped? Man Code—does that work when your mom gets abused?

...I'm living in the real world and you can drink the Kool-Aid all you want. A lot of guys love the Kool-Aid. The sports world is Kool-Aid world...You can do anything if [you win]...What happens is they win and they go, "You know that girl? She's my trophy. I deserve that girl. In fact, she don't even want to be with me, but I don't care. I'm going to take it." What kind of mindset is that? Never never never never never should that ever be accepted. That's not "code." That's Taliban. That's ISIS."

He's right.  And it's not going to matter that he's right.

He's going to get his ass kicked.

Why?

Man Code.

The same Man Code that Damon Bruce expounded upon (second half of the post), and got called out for by Keith Olbermann.

Man Code...

Oh shit...