With Donald Trump parading (metaphorically) through the streets of Boston today, Kevin Seifert decided to kick off the offseason coverage by giving ten of what he believes to be the NFL's top priorities.
So I'm going to Super Fraud-slant them:
#1: Address the ratings decline.
The NFL's ratings fell about 8% over the course of the season. Almost all of this decline was pre-Trump election coverage. Much of the change from the -14% pre-election, though, to -1% post-election, was attributed to the Cowboys.
Sports Media Watch reports today that Super Bowl LI(E) was the lowest-rated Super Bowl in seven years, at a 45.3. The last time this happened was also the last time Atlanta was in the game (1999), which the rating was the lowest that decade.
As such, my solution (as it would be for a number of these) is: Contract useless teams.
Seriously. No one -- and I do mean NO ONE -- wants to continue to see Cleveland and Jacksonville barf up the league. They are not the only two teams I would contract, given power to do so. That said, however, I think a large part of why a lot of people aren't watching (along with the Never-Ending Reality Show, awareness of the concussion/CTE issue, etc.) is that the league has done a very poor job of making more than, MAYBE, two or three teams actually relevant.
#2: Improve pace of game.
There are a number of solutions I would go well out of the box with on this one.
One of them is actually to stop allowing the referees to tamper the pace of the game on their own. There are a number of incidents in which teams watched the clock run out on them while the officials would not let them snap the ball.
Another is to simply get rid of the kickoff. I'll have a solution on that one later.
And third may be a complete rework of the game to begin with. Reduce the length of the quarters, but stop the clock more often, so that more of the actual running time is actual gameplay.
#3: Kickoff rule.
Here's my solution to the kickoff situation: Get rid of kickoffs entirely.
On any score outside a safety, the scoring team has two options: Give the ball to the other team at their own 25, or take the ball at your own 25, fourth and 20-25. (One play to get 20-25 yards -- make it difficult enough and obvious enough, like most onside kicks in the first place.)
This might also get rid of the score-commercial-kickoff-commercial situation as well.
#4: "My Cause, My Cleats", and associated uniform violation fines.
Solution: Any cleats which actually promote an actual cause or are an actual legitimate tribute are legal. No fine.
If you want to honor Craig Sager or bring mental health awareness or something to that effect, you're good. I understand why there are efforts to have the people have uniform cleats to sell in stores and the like to hardcore idiots, but the fact is that LEGITIMATE efforts to honor or promote causes should never be fined.
Now, if you are trying to pimp the latest rap star of the day, fine away. Especially if the league grows a brain, any abuse of the process should be fined.
#5: Chip technology on scores and ball placement.
It's conceded this one probably doesn't work, because you'd still need the eyeball test on when to check for the chip placement.
#6: Thursday Night Football
My solution: Get rid of it. Move the opener to the Saturday night before, if you must.
All Thursday Night Football was designed to do was to extend the National Religion another evening (Thursday night: Pro. Friday night: High School. Saturday: College. Sunday and Monday Night: Pro.) to basically make football a five out of seven day affair.
Again, and this dovetails into the "useless teams" argument: Look at some of the games put on the Thursday schedule to give every team a prime-time game: Jags-Titans, Ravens-Browns... I mean, they did a better job of stopping complete stinkers, unlike previous years.
The turnaround is insane, and for what real benefit? Get rid of TNF. The only Thursday which MIGHT work is Thanksgiving, and that's tradition. You might do well to give the Cowboys, Lions, and the two teams they are playing their byes the Sunday before Thanksgiving.
#7: Celebration Penalties and Unsportsmanlike Conduct
This was the largest Point of Emphasis this year in the NFL. No uncertain terms, it didn't work.
I'm really of two conflicted minds here, and hence my solution is an either-or: Either you go ahead and give the fans what they want and let the players have a personality, or you go all the way and anything which is not handing the ball to the ref is 15 and a toss.
First off, it's apparent that there is a very real possibility that Unsportsmanlike Conduct must become an ejection foul on ONE such penalty, not two. There is a conduct problem on-the-field in the NFL -- in fact, in all of football. It will have to be further addressed.
On the other hand, there is the real question: Why are we flagging the celebrations? If it is a function of what the league has said (with emphasis on "example for the children"), has the NFL forgotten that it is the only level of 100-yard football that even allows the spike after a touchdown, much less anything else?
If "example for the children" is a reason, the league will have to consider outlawing all post-touchdown (and post-sack) demonstrations, including AND ESPECIALLY the Lambeau Leap, etc. The NFL is the only level which allows it, no level of "the children" allows it. So, in another example of the league's hypocrisy, if part of this is "FOR THE CHILDREN!!!", then why is any demonstration allowed?
I have a feeling we will see something this off-season on that from Goodell.
#8: California.
The entire situation in the state of California, with respect to the NFL, is going to have to be addressed. (And this doesn't even take into account CalExit.)
The article notes that you already have two teams that are not wanted by their localities. San Diego has become the first city I know of to completely disown it's NFL team. And it's so bad that the Los Angeles Chargers will play in a stadium which seats only 30,000 people. They will actually play the next two seasons in Los Angeles' SOCCER STADIUM in Carson. And the Raiders? That Las Vegas situation has gone quite south in the last 30 days. And that whole situation in the Coliseum is not going to work.
The Rams are an utter joke. What you saw in the Los Angeles Rams in Season One was one of the biggest quit jobs in league history.
The 49ers are even worse of a joke, and the league should've stepped in on the basis of player misconduct and the complete mismanagement of the team since their last Super Bowl appearance.
Solution?? At least one of these four teams is going to have to go -- probably two. And bugger if I can say which one or two! Cases could be made for the removal of any of the four franchises. You'd obviously want to keep at least one LA team (or have a team in LA), but the fact is that none of these franchises (not even the Raiders, who had more wins than the rest of the state COMBINED (12, with SD 5, Rams 4, SF 2)) are healthy enough to be considered viable at this point.
#9: A true developmental league.
The NFL wants a third-party to actually make the infrastructure and proof-of-concept (as Seifert phrases it) for a developmental league.
This would make sense if we actually dialed back college football in this country. Until then, spare me. The fact is that it would actually serve the league better to admit that college football IS the developmental league and be done with it. Not even with the NFL name attached will most people accept "lesser football" (NFL Europe), much less the XFL failure.
Solution: A fuller partnership with college football and spare me any developmental league talk. As Michael Vick found out, and it precipitated his retirement, if you're not getting the call, there's some reason or another (rightly or wrongly) you aren't.
#10: Officiating technology.
The CFL actually did something this year, a centralized video official who could stop the game at any time and correct an egregious error.
Implement it if you must, but it's just another person to be in on an officiating screwjob if one takes place. Mike Pereira has already stated that he believes referees are getting advice from upstairs to begin with!
You note one thing that isn't on the list:
#11: The continuing explosion of head injuries.
I am reminded of a collision Deadspin caught in the Packer-Bear game, where the running back for Chicago lowered his head and the collision was so forceful that the logo got knocked off his helmet!
No uncertain terms: The game cannot be made safer. It can't. There is no solution for this but to create a flag-football situation (which, if marketed properly, would probably address a number of these other issues, come to think of it!!!)
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