Hire me as the newly-created NFL Director of Digital Forensic Investigations.
And yes, from NFL.com, the job is real.
Excuse me a second...
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
This would be like hiring me to be Debbie Gibson's lead bodyguard.
(Or Britney Spears', etc.)
I mean, give me the first day on the job, and Roger Goodell himself is the first person investigated.
Now, I might well have some more qualifications to look into Twitter and the like, but they ain't gonna like what I find.
New York, as people might recall, is a Duty of Loyalty state...
Among other things I would think somebody in this situation would want to address with league sanctions is the spewing off of Minnesota Vikings cornerback Josh Robinson, who likened gay marriage to pedophilia...
My first question is whether he went to Penn State... (No, Central Florida.)
But a good way to see me killed in about six hours is to actually give me the opportunity to really investigate some of the social media, etc., of the league -- and then take it into the league-endorsed match-fixing, etc.
Because they wouldn't like neither what I found or what I did...
Deadspin has it right...
"From the likely tasks listed in the “Job Functions” section, it appears the NFL plans to regularly confiscate employees’ computers and other electronics and needs someone able to hack into those bad boys and find the good stuff before it get leaked to a news organization and embarrasses them. In the “Special Skills/Abilities” part, things like “expertise in conducting complex and varied criminal investigations,” “Expertise in both civil and criminal judicial processes,” and “Extensive network of law enforcement contacts at the local, state and federal level” really drive home what the league believes itself to be building with its investigations department."
I have already been encouraged to apply by at least one blog-reader. :)
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