Sunday, December 21, 2014

Fine Blotter Week 15

  • New York Jets:  Willie Colon, Unsportsmanlike Conduct
  • New England Patriots:  Brandon Browner, Unsportsmanlike Conduct
  • Tennessee Titans:  Jurelle Casey, Striking/Kicking/Kneeing
  • San Francisco 49ers:  Eric Reed, Late Hit
  • Miami Dolphins:  Brandon Gibson, Taunting
  • Cleveland Browns:  Barkevious Mingo, Roughing the Passer
  • Green Bay Packers:  Sam Barrington, Horse Collar Tackle
And the biggest fine of the week, in an example of how farcical things have gotten, in multiple ways:
  • Washington Redskins:  Santana Moss got thrown out of Sunday's game for an altercation with the officials which appeared far more physical than just verbal.  He only got the $22,050 for non-physical abuse.  Really should've been doubled, at minimum.

Friday, December 19, 2014

Score Update -- Defense Takes Over Week 15

Sorry for the delay -- got a Christmas present I'm trying out.
  • I think I'm getting the impression that Green Bay can pack their bags and go home for the season.  The defenses are taking over.  It took two large scores in the Sunday and Monday prime time games just to get the week average to 36.4375 -- it was about 33.7 before then.  Wish I had the old chart with my other computer, so I can know how far back I have to go to get a lesser score.
  • We're not breaking the record this year.  Per game average for 15 weeks:  45.406
  • Eleven of the sixteen games were competitive into the fourth quarter...
  • ... but for the third time this season, NONE were actually decided by a score in the final two minutes or overtime.
  • So the 36 such games this year now represent only 16.07% of the total.
  • 62.05% of the games this season are within one score at some point in the fourth quarter.  
  • There were eight games decided by a score at the end (half the schedule), 41.51% for the year.
  • All three figures are down from last year -- the last two were 68% and 48% last year, respectively.
  • Thirteen of the sixteen games went under the number this week.  Over is 105-116-1.
  • After a great first session, home teams were only 9-7 for the week.  130-89-1 for the year.
  • Home team was called for more penalties in 9 of the 16 games -- 99 this year.
  • About a penalty more per game this week than last.
  • Team with more penalties was 7-7-2 this week.  103-101-19 for the year.
  • Team with more PoE fouls was 5-6-5.  76-90-67
  • Hence, it appears that there is more a correlation of teams getting fouls accepted against them for passing situations than for penalties at large to determine who wins and loses...

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like The End of the Football Season




Thanks to my anonymous friend for finding all of these on the daily Stupidity Check...
  • The San Francisco 49ers cut Ray McDonald today for embarrassing them.
On top of the domestic violence charges (which it openly took the NFL "fixers" in the local police department to do), Deadspin reports today that a woman has come forward saying McDonald raped her a couple days before.

So McDonald is cut...  for a pattern of bad decision-making.

Take Harbaugh and the 49ers GM with him, because the former is hypocritical and the latter helped the former do just that.

Oh, wait...  It doesn't sound like Harbaugh is going to make the end of the year anyway...
  • While still coach of the 49ers, Jim Harbaugh has a $48,000,000 offer to coach at Michigan for six years, Deadspin reports.



Don't wait the two weeks.
  • More El StupidoDeadspin chronicled three irate parents who complained to the FCC...  because the football game showed Tom Brady, upset with himself late in the first quarter of a game a couple weeks, saying "FUCK!"...
Note, there was no audio.  Mommy Dearest is a good lip-reader...

So, let's see:  No problems with the wife beaters, the child beaters, the concussions, the debilitating injuries, the thuggish behavior.  Little Johnny can see that all he wants!

And two more from the disintegrating molten heap which was the Chicago Bears...
Why stop there, Dan?

How about run out of town on a rail?

Tarred and feathered?


Of course, that pales in consideration of this Chicago sports television show...

There's no dysfunction at all in Football Nation America, right???

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Another FIne Blotter That's Way Too Damn Short (Week 14 2014)

Well, this one is a bit longer, but, if the list is of any indication of previous weeks, it should be far longer still.

Courtesy of

  • Denver Broncos:  Malik Jackson:  Striking/Kicking/Kneeing
  • Washington Redskins:  Frank Kearse:  Face Mask
  • New Orleans Saints:  Curtis Lofton
  • Carolina Panthers:  Brandon Williams
  • Carolina Panthers:  Kelvin Benjamin:  All three for a fight between the two teams.
  • Oakland Raiders:  Austin Howard:  Unsportsmanlike Conduct
  • New York Giants:  DeMontre Moore:  Roughing the Passer (thought that was a bigger fine)
  • Green Bay Packers:  Clay Matthews:  Equipment Violation (apparently a repeat offender for wearing white cleats)
  • Kansas City Chiefs:  Tamba Hali:  Roughing the Passer
  • Dallas Cowboys:  Tyrone Crawford:  Roughing the Passer
  • Arizona Cardinals:  Tommy Kelly:  Roughing the Passer
  • Washington Redskins:  Ryan Clark:  Defenseless Player Rule
  • Jacksonville Jaguars:  Telvin Smith:  Helmet to Helmet Hit

Friday, December 12, 2014

So How Much Longer Until The Literal Thumbs Up Or Thumbs Down?

(Hat-Tip to my anonymous friend, for not only pulling the article itself, but also some flavor quotes we both felt appropo...)

"The owners of the team. They gave me nothing. They the reason my marriage failed. I worked my ass off all those years, sweating blood, and and puking my soul out and they treat me like a tractor. Roll me around treat me no better then a dog. The guys that got hurt, they never saw a penny out of those monsters."

"Throughout my career, my coach pumped me so full of steroids and hatred, I couldn't feel pain! Shoot, I even break my own leg for fun! They made me play when I was ill or injured, and that was because I was a little more than a piece of meat to them."

Those two quotes were made by BJ Smith, a FICTIONAL CHARACTER played by Lawrence Taylor in the video game Grand Theft Auto:  Vice City.

After reading the latest Deadspin masterpiece, my friend (and any sane person, which should disqualify most of Football Nation America right there!) had but one question:  Whether the player doing the voice acting was actually telling the truth about his experiences with football.

The National Football League Players' Association (read: The Owners' Bitches, for the most part.) has filed a complaint against the New England Patriots (yep, them again -- just on the verge of them possibly being the choice for the AFC for this season...) on behalf of Jonathan Fanene.

The Washington Post has a report stating the NFLPA believes that Fanene, after passing two physicals with the team, had necessary treatment withheld from him so that the team could cut him - that the team doctor withheld treatment as a function of that the team could then claim Fanene was withholding the information so that they could revoke an almost $4 million signing bonus in 2012.

And, worse yet, this was under the advisement of your friend and mine, Belicheat.  The motherfucker coaching this dog and pony show "advised" (more ordered) the team doctor to withhold arthroscopic knee surgery to get Fanene to retire, so the signing bonus would never be paid.

This is your football, America.

If we're going to treat these entities (can't even call them "human beings" until they're being treated as such!) like this, calling it "treating them like pieces of meat" is KIND!

It's not just the obvious that the TEAM doctor only works in the best interests of the TEAM....

It's that I can only ask the question as to how long it's going to be before, at the end of the game, the losing team (or at least one member of) is brought before Emperor Goodell, who does his best Nero and gives the thumbs up or thumbs down...

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

OK, Let's See How Much Wool Goodell and the Owners Are Pulling Over Our Eyes THIS TIME...

Well, at least they delivered on a new Personal Conduct Policy.

Now, let's see how many "Yeah, right!"s I can throw into it.

Here it is from the league, in .PDF form.

"This policy applies to the Commissioner; all owners; all employees of the NFL, NFL clubs,and all NFL-related entities, including players under contract, coaches, game officials; all rookie players selected in the NFL college draft and all undrafted rookie players, unsigned veterans who were under contract in the prior League Year; and other prospective employees once they commence negotiations with a club concerning employment."
And there's problem #1...

They really need to have a policy in place to deal with situations like the current situation surrounding Jameis Winston. I doubt, quite highly, that Winston would be allowed to play under this Policy.

"Prohibited conduct includes but is not limited to the following:
  • Actual or threatened physical violence against another person, including dating violence, domestic violence, child abuse, and other forms of family violence;
  •  Assault and/or battery, including sexual assault or other sex offenses;
  • Violent or threatening behavior toward another employee or a third party in any workplace setting;
  • Stalking, harassment, or similar forms of intimidation;
  •  Illegal possession of a gun or other weapon (such as explosives, toxic substances, and the like), or possession of a gun or other weapon in any workplace setting;
  •  Illegal possession, use, or distribution of alcohol or drugs;
  • Possession, use, or distribution of steroids or other performance enhancing substances;
  • Crimes involving cruelty to animals as defined by state or federal law;
  • Crimes of dishonesty such as blackmail, extortion, fraud, money laundering, or racketeering; Theft-related crimes such as burglary, robbery, or larceny;
  • Disorderly conduct;
  • Crimes against law enforcement, such as obstruction, resisting arrest, or harming a police officer or other law enforcement officer;
  • Conduct that poses a genuine danger to the safety and well-being of another person; and
  • Conduct that undermines or puts at risk the integrity of the NFL, NFL clubs, or NFL personnel.

OK, Mr. Goodell, one question:

This is the problem with your league: Enforce this list of conduct, and I don't think you can find 1,696 professional-level football players to play your games. So how you going to snow us under to ensure the show goes on?

So here's what happens:

1) Upon arrest, the league offers counseling and other related services, paid for by the league. In the case of domestic violence and child abuse and the like, urgent family services of similar types are provided. The player's amenability to such action will be a factor in eventual discipline. OK, makes sense.

2) An investigation is started. A more formal listing of putting players on the Commissioner/Exempt List is formed:

"First, you are formally charged with a crime of violence, meaning that you are accused of having used physical force or a weapon to injure or threaten another person, of having engaged in a sexual assault by force or a sexual assault of a person who was incapable of giving consent, of having engaged in other conduct that poses a genuine danger to the safety or well-being of another person, or of having engaged in animal abuse. The formal charges may be in the form of an indictment by a grand jury, the filing of charges by a prosecutor, or an arraignment in a criminal court."

Which means that the fixers are now going to have to start to work in ways similar to the Santa Clara County Sheriff for the likes of Ray McDonald, are we right, Mr. Commissioner?

At least the one thing which is the case: Now, you're off the field upon any such charge. You're going to be paid, but...

3) The Commissioner CAN come to their own findings on violations of the Policy, irrespective of the guilt or innocence of a player, and does NOT have to conform to the standards of a criminal trial, nor does it mean they are guilty in one, necessarily. Grounds for throwing this out, on Constitutional/Too Big To Fail grounds?

To wit:

You have violated this policy if you have a disposition of a criminal proceeding (as defined), or if the evidence gathered by the league’s investigation demonstrates that you engaged in conduct prohibited by the Personal Conduct Policy. In cases where you are not charged with a crime, or are charged but not convicted, you may still be found to have violated the Policy if the credible evidence establishes that you engaged in conduct prohibited by this Personal Conduct Policy.

4) Initial decisions will be made by someone in the league office, a new discipline head (doesn't sound like this will extend to on-the-field, since the new Policy makes the point that he or she will be "a highly-qualified individual with a criminal justice background."

5) You can be fined, suspended, or thrown out of the league. The new domestic-violence policy has been graduated into this (six games minimum on first offense, thrown out of the league on #2).


Bottom line is what I said and bolded above: You actually enforce this, and I can GUARANTEE you that you won't find 1,696 professional-level football players who can or will abide by this.


Newton Update...

He's out of the hospital.

Neither driver will be charged.

Sounds like your standard accident -- which, of course, probably means we've dodged another bullet -- THIS TIME.