Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Super Farce XLIX, The Cheats: Physics, Statistics, and Why This Whole Patriot Run Might Be a Farce

I used to be a statistician in high school, so numbers fascinate me.

This Deflate-Gate thing might just have invalidated the rest of the "War on Terror" Patriots' 6 AFC titles.

We know, basically, the Patriots were cheating in probably the three wins.

Now the two losses and this year's AFC title game are in question too, and it's not just easier throwing and catching of the football.

According to Yahoo! Sports, statisticians, since the beginning of the Deflate-Gate saga, started looking at another statistic and realized that there is a real statistically-significant possibility that the Patriots have been illegally deflating or otherwise modifying the game balls they play with since the teams have been allowed to provide and use their own game balls in 2007.

The statistic the studies have pointed to is the statistic on how rarely the Patriots fumble the football.

The NFL average, according to Greg Matthews of Loyola University of Chicago, of fumbles is that, on average, a team will fumble once every 100 carries.

2007-2014, the New England Patriots averaged 0.63 fumbles per 100 carries.

To give a perspective, that means, in the number of carries an average team fumbles 3 times, the Patriots fumble only 1.89.

Again, the league began to allow teams to use their own balls in 2007.

Tom Brady, before this date, averaged almost 10 fumbles a season in that span.  He's almost halved that down to 5.28 for the last seven.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM....

The Patriots will now have been in three Super Bowls in that span.

The Patriots went 16-0 and 19-1 the first season of the change.

The Patriots have made the playoffs every year in that stretch save ONE.  And that year, they went 11-5 and lost on tiebreakers.

This whole thing is a farce. 

In eight years since they started this, the Patriots have only lost 28 regular season games.

I think we're beginning to find out why.

Super Farce XLIX, The Thugs: Marshawn Lynch is Becoming a MAJOR Distraction

... and, knowing him, he's going to get the last word on Sunday -- just not sure if it's going to be during the game.

It is becoming rapidly apparent that Marshawn Lynch is becoming the DeflateGate of the Seattle Seahawks -- in that he's becoming a rather large-scale distraction.

Yeah, he came out to the press conference on Tuesday, and told the press 25 times he was only there not to get fined.

Now, we get word the NFL was about to ding him a HALF A MILLION DOLLARS.  (And they still might fine him for his hat from Tuesday.)

That is the MAXIMUM fine which can be given under any realistic circumstance, but that they've had to go here indicates that one has to wonder how much under Goodell's skin he's gotten.

I am coming to the conclusion that the following two things will not both happen:

1) The Seattle Seahawks win Super Bowl XLIX.
2) Marshawn Lynch will be a Seahawk next year.

There is significant talk that Lynch might not be back, and, at the rate things are going, one has to wonder if getting Lynch under control (or guaranteeing he's gone after this year!!!) is a condition of awarding Seattle the win this Sunday...

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Super Farce XLIX: The Most Toxic Sporting Event in American History

I have to shake my head.

And the post I just made on the "No More" Super Bowl PSA is a LARGE part of it.

Because, to be a fan of the NFL these days, you effectively have to tolerate domestic violence, rape, murder, and all of the other manifestations of football (whether done by simple deliberate act or accentuated by massive brain injuries caused by repeated brain trauma as "part of the game" that they "knew the risks of") which have made the sport itself the villain.

So, on this Super Bowl XLIX, we have probably the perfect match-up.  The two current dirtiest franchises in the entire National Freefall League.

On one side, you have the openly-pushed Thug Super Bowl Defending Champions, the Seattle Seahawks (or, better put, the Seadderal SeaHags or SeaThugs).

There is no secret that this is an eminently unlikeable bunch, with easily the highest degree of thug in their defense (largely because, unlike Detroit's and the like, these guys get away with most of what they do, be it a late shot, a helmet, a shot to a knee (ask San Francisco's punter from last year's playoffs!), or all the trash-talking.

You have a figurehead of that defense in Richard Sherman, who, if the Seahawks win, will gladly and openly grace every cover, I would have to think, of every football preview next year with his (or, probably, more like two for the linemen) two Super Bowl rings, with two massive middle fingers in the air.

And, if not him, two more unlikeable (for many) candidates in "Beast Mode" Marshawn Lynch, an openly-ticking time bomb vs. the NFL corporate establishment and the Almighty Quarterback with Swagga (as long as he's Black Enough) Russell Wilson.

Never mind that, to get to even this title defense, the belt-holders literally had to do a very bad job of having their "talent" "enhanced" by a Green Bay Packers team who all but finally got the memo to lay down because they had to.

Never mind that, to get to even this title defense, we have to ignore the continuing cheat ways of the likes of Pete Carroll, including a litany of drug offenses which would explain why these guys look like they are hopped-up 12 year-old inner-city gangbangers.

Of course, that's one side of it.  When you get to the other, you begin to wonder if the NFL is actually marketing THESE motherfuckers as the GOOD GUYS!!!

Because, on the other side, you have, for the sixth time in the War on Terror Era (and you can add a seventh only five years previous), Bill Belichick and his New England Patriots (or Cheatriots).

Now, on surface, this franchise would seem to the outside observer to be pure as the driven Massachusetts snow.

When you look at the background, however, you see otherwise.

Just in this run:
  • January 19, 2002:  The New England Patriots are awarded a controversial possession when the Oakland Raiders clearly gain a fumble which would've defeated the Patriots in the infamous "Tuck Rule" fiasco.
  • January 26, 2002:  The Patriots defeat Pittsburgh in the AFC Championship Game that year, in a game in which numerous defensive fouls against the Patriots were all-but-certainly ignored.
  • At some point in the intervening week:  The Rams' practices are being illegally taped.
  • February 2, 2002:  The Patriots "win" their first NFL championship by "defeating" the St. Louis Rams, in no small part due to cooperation in the game planning by Mike Martz, corrupt officiating to prevent Tom Brady from being penalized (among others), and the first field goal in history to go seven seconds (to ensure the Rams don't get a shot to have their speedsters try to run back the ensuing kickoff).
  • February 2003:  The screwjob is deemed so bad by the NFL, it literally has to give a make-up call, to both the Raiders and their coach that year, Jon Gruden, in having Tampa Bay (Gruden's new team) vs. the Raiders in the next Super Bowl.  The game is one of the most corrupt in history, with the new Raiders coach throwing the game by allowing Gruden to know all the audible signals -- and we now also know Tampa's quarterback bribed the custodians of the game balls to have them conform to his specifications.
  • 2003-2004 and 2004-2005:  The Patriots "win" two more titles.
  • January 2005:  The President of the United States invites Tom Brady to the State of the Union Speech as a paragon of drug-free competition.
  • 2007:  The NFL is alerted by the New York Jets to their practices being illegally taped by the Patriots.  This allegation eventually comes out the week before Super Bowl XLII, a game in which the Patriots attempt to become the first team in history to win a championship undefeated in a 16-game regular season.
  • February 3, 2008:  Largely as a result of the exposition into what would eventually be called "SpyGate", in which the allegations as to the Rams' practices being taped were published by the Boston Herald, the Patriots fail in that attempt, losing to the Giants, 17-14.  The fact that the Giants had a pass rush to speak of didn't hurt matters, but, absent some reason not to push them, the Patriots still had the appearance of clean as snow.
  • 2008:  The league fines Belichick $500,000 and the team $250,000 for SpyGate, and takes their first pick in the draft.
That's just before these playoffs.

Not just including the Patriots, you have this to consider in this year's playoffs too to add to the witches' brew:
  • January 3, 2015:  For the second time in two such incidences, a team with a losing record handily defeats a wild-card team with a far superior record in the Wild Card Round, as Carolina defeats Arizona 27-16.
  • January 4, 2015:  In a game in which FOX just coincidentally had former head of officials Mike Periera in the booth, the most flagrant non-call in pass interference history aids the Dallas Cowboys in a comeback win over the Detroit Lions (which see previous comment on who gets away with thug hits and who does not).  In the owners' box, for the fifth time this year (all Dallas wins, in a season where Dallas went 12-4 and was expected to go about 6-10!), was the governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie, raising bribery questions.
  • The NFL eventually admits at least SEVEN major officiating errors in the Dallas-Detroit contest.  I counted at least three on the play referenced alone!
  • January 10, 2015:  New England defeats Pittsburgh in a game where at least one play appeared to have Pittsburgh vexed -- a play in which New England attempted to substitute in such a manner to deceive Pittsburgh into not knowing which ineligible number was an eligible receiver and which was not.
  • January 11, 2015:  Probably because they got so completely caught the week before (and, not to mention, controversy centering on Christie which could lead to a Federal trial the NFL does want light shone on!), the NFL has another controversial call involving the Cowboys in the fourth quarter of a playoff game.  Dez Bryant appears to catch a near-touchdown which is about to give the Cowboys the lead against Green Bay.  But the Calvin Johnson Rule is invoked, and apparently correctly -- but it doesn't save the league massive scrutiny and controversy.
  • January 18, 2015, Part I:  With an uncharacteristic performance by the Super Bowl Defending Champions, the Green Bay Packers have a 19-7 lead with the ball and under 5:00 to go.  Marshawn Lynch is dancing on the sideline.
  • He should know why:  The Packers then lie down like good little jobbers and Seattle goes through the checklist (defense becomes unstoppable, one touchdown, onside kick recovered by Seattle, key Beast Mode rushing touchdown (and crotch grab) to give the Hawks the lead, last-minute drive by the Pack, OVERTIME, quick resolution by Almighty Quarterback Touchdown Drive so the other game can start on time) to go back-to-back in the NFC, 28-22.
  • January 18, 2015, Part II:  The New England Patriots rout the Indianapolis Colts for the AFC crown, setting up the Super Bowl I predicted before the season began.  (Check this blog.  Check my Twitter.)
  • January 19, 2015-present:  Within six hours of the Patriots' "victory", it comes out that the balls the Patriots used for the game (at least the first half) were deliberately deflated beyond regulation standard by...  somebody.  (Current investigation has a Patriots locker-room staffer responsible.)  Though this act would appear to make it possible for the Patriots to be disqualified, the league (all too happily) tells all sane people to go fuck off.
  • The ensuing "DeflateGate" discussion has subsumed basically everything else on or off the field for the upcoming Super Bowl.
  • It then comes out that Robert Kraft and Roger Goodell are very good friends -- Kraft so often running interference for Goodell that he is seen as an Associate Commissioner, and pictures surfacing of Goodell at Kraft's house before the January 18 games!
So why did I go through all this, if you're still reading?

This is not only the most toxic Super Bowl in history, it clearly appears to be the most toxic sporting event in the history of the American Sports Machine.

You have, clearly, THE TWO MOST CORRUPT COACHES IN AMERICAN SPORT TODAY.  And, until this situation blew up, I'd say Pete Carroll wins by a distance.  But Bill Belichick has got to Bill Belichick.

You have the two most corrupt teams in the league at this point.  There are many other teams who are simply incompetent, and corruption occurs, surely, in all 32 franchises.  But these are the two worst.

There's nothing to like about these guys.  None of them!

And all this in the background of:
  • Ray Rice beating the fuck out of Stockholm Syndrome-sufferer Janay.
  • Adrian Peterson beating the shit out of his kids.
  • Ray McDonald getting police protection to get out of one domestic-violence situation, only to finally be slammed off the Niners when he adds a rape allegation to the list!
  • Greg Hardy, who will finally go on trial February 9 on his domestic violence charges.
  • Roger Goodell caught lying through his teeth about the Ray Rice fiasco.
  • Roger Goodell saying he's going to get tough, when, in actuality, he's trying to nullify all player-conduct policies, on and off the field, so the monsters can rape, pillage, plunder, and main whoever the fuck they choose -- as long as they remain in the good graces of the NFL and not wear non-corporate cleats or grab their dick.
America, this is the Super Bowl you wanted.  Thugs vs. Cheats.

America, this is the Super Bowl you fucking deserve.  I hope (and probably will have a notebook to chronicle) there's a major incident to disgrace not only the NFL, but this entire nation of football addicts on Sunday.

Because, whichever team wins only becomes the question of how and where the dials get twiddled.

So, now, people like me are left with one thought in mind:

This Super Bowl begins to get the very real vibe of the first Ray Lewis Super Bowl, the year after he was involved in a murder (364 days previous, to be exact!).

There were indications the league was going this direction, as any Madden player would attest with the music.

But after the Ravens annihilated the Giants 34-7, the league went full Thug Mode.  An inner-city, gang-like culture which has infiltrated everything football is about -- included tatted-up draft prospects on ESPN, brawls in the stands (becoming far more exposed and frequent in the YouTube Era), and a brand of player that has made all reasoned hope for the game evaporate like the expectations of legal and fair play after Mayer v. Belichick, Patriots, and NFL.

I'm no longer certain who wins this game.  I predicted Seattle at the start of the year, and was certain of it til the Kraft stuff started coming out.  I don't know, right now, who I would pick.

I do know one thing.  My friend showed me this, the perfect poster-meme somebody came up with for this Super Farce XLIX, The Game America Deserves:


Super Farce XLIX, The (Bad and Unacceptable) Joke: The Domestic Violence Spot

You knew the league would do it.

It leaked today.

The league's attempt to make the stupid dupes believe the league actually cares about domestic violence.

In truth, all it is is either a grandiose PR move the 100 million+ idiots who will believe the game is legit will fall for, or a statement as to where the league believes the place of a woman actually is, while trying to tell you the opposite.


That is the actual group's channel too.

Well, the first comment posted (maybe not the first in order) is mine:

Too bad it's a lie, shills for the NFL.

If the NFL really cared about domestic violence, it would care about CTE (ask the family of Nancy and Daniel Benoit about the effects of repeated head injuries vis-a-vis domestic violence).

If the NFL really cared about domestic violence, people would actually take one look at the monstrous animals who maim each other for our entertainment and re-examine how we allowed that into our society. 

If the NFL really cared about domestic violence, it would re-examine the sport of football and every manifestation of how it is presented, and try to figure out how to not have a spiked increase in domestic violence in NFL cities in which their team loses, especially unexpectedly (which repeated surveys have shown on the subject). 

If the NFL really cared about domestic violence, it would care about women as more than panty-flashers on the sidelines and sideline reporters only there to make men drool. Start with the very wives who have put up with many of the aforementioned monstrous animals. 

Sorry, you're either doing PR or showing a woman her real place. 

And, knowing your Master, Roger Goodell, I cannot rule out the latter.

Super Farce XLIX, The Cheats: And Now The Threats Begin...

Brandon Browner used to play for the SeaThugs.

Brandon Browner now plays cornerback for the Patriots.

Brandon Browner has said he wants his teammates to hurt Richard Sherman, who suffered a couple decent-sized injuries against the Packers almost 10 days ago now, according to Deadspin:

"Those dudes are tough. Watching the game, you can see Sherman was holding that arm like he had a sling on it. But at the end of the day, this is about the Super Bowl. I'm going to tell my teammates: 'Go hit that elbow, go hit that shoulder. Hit it, try to break it if you can.'"
Why is he doing this?

"You're going to be my best friend after the game, but at the end of he day, I know you want the Super Bowl just as bad as I do."

Sherman himself, according to the article, says Browner is still a member of the Legion of Boom.

Gee, where you think Browner got the idea for all of that?

Bobby Wagner has said the Seahawks will respond in kind.  Nothing personal.

Super Farce XLIX, The Thugs: Marshawn Lynch is a Ticking Time Bomb

Well, at least the NFL got Marshawn Lynch to APPEAR at Media Day.

Too bad he didn't SAY anything.

Am I the only person in the world who hopes this guy humiliates the NFL by doing something they'd probably have to create a new part of the fine book for?

I mean, now we're hearing tell that the NFL is threatening, that if Lynch becomes a three-time offender with the crotch-grabbing at the Big Game, they might actually throw the flag this time.

OOOOH, that'll teach him.

No, anyone who knows Marshawn Lynch knows it'll just piss Beast Mode off.

Monday, January 26, 2015

More NFL Shenanigans: Another NFL Wife Subjugated By The League, and the Assistant Commissioner Wants An Apology!

Two more Deadspin gems my friend looked up this afternoon...

1) Robert Kraft Wants A Fucking Apology.

Robert Kraft, the Assistant Commissioner of the NFL (and, by no coincidence, the owner of the team who has had 6 of the last 14 AFC Championships...), has demanded an apology for himself and his quarterback, and crashed a Monday press conference in Arizona to get the point across.

"If the Wells investigation is not able to definitely determine that our organization tampered with the air pressure in the footballs, I would expect and hope the league would apologize to our entire team and in particular coach Belichick and Tom Brady for what they have had to endure the last week. I am disappointed in the way the entire matter has been handled and reported upon," Kraft said.

... according to the article.

Kiss my ass, Kraft.  You didn't even need to cheat this time (unless you've been cheating in this manner the entire season, or, at the very least, since Week 5), because of how much your team had run over the AFC.

As the article notes, he just went after Goodell.  The question is whether the "Wells investigation" is going to be announced this week.  If it goes against the Pats, take Seattle big.

2) Another NFL wife has been subjugated by the league, her husband being punished for actually being a husband.

Brent Grimes is a cornerback for the Dolphins.

As far as the NFL is concerned, this Pro Bowler may not be much longer if he doesn't forcibly shut his wife up.

Miko Grimes (the wife) needed oral surgery during the Thursday before the Pro Bowl, and the coaches of the game gave Brent permission to be with his wife.

Or so one would think...

The league saw differently, and snatched his paycheck for the game as a result!!!

MIKO GRIMES IS PISSED.





Not that that should be any secret to anybody.

Nor this: Only real question is HOW Miko gets silenced. Does the NFL threaten Brent's job or send someone to beat the shit out of Miko a little bit?